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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552783">The Agreement</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedWriter/pseuds/WickedWriter'>WickedWriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aziraphale Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Beta Read - We Ascend Like Aziraphale, Body Worship, Chapter Warnings Apply, Dubious Consent (mentions), Emotional Manipulation, Food Porn, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Soft dom!Aziraphale, first time Dom!Aziraphale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:40:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>53,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedWriter/pseuds/WickedWriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting the owner of the flower shop across the street should have been just a polite, once every blue moon, kind of meeting. Just making himself known to his other neighbours on the street. It's what any respectable, honest and well-mannered gentleman in Soho would do. That is exactly what Aziraphale did. But he never could have imagined that what had been a wobbly first meeting would turn into a habit of spending time with the tall, lanky flower shop owner. That is, until Aziraphale is unable to deny the feelings that had developed.</p>
<p>To complicate matters even more, Gabriel jumps right back into Aziraphale's life as if they hadn't broken up eons ago. Now, he's caught between his past and what could very well become his future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Past Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens) - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bittersweet Good Omens, Good Omens Big Bang 2019</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Gardenia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here is my submission for the Good Omens Big Bang 2019. A huge shout out to my amazing artists <a href="https://ecchima.tumblr.com/">Ecchima</a> and <a href="https://espressosaur.tumblr.com/">Espressosaur</a> for the amazing artwork throughout this piece. I am impressed at the work they did, make sure to check them out!</p>
<p>Also a gigantic thank you to the most amazing beta ever, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinposhbastard">Dee</a>. Thank you for all the hard work you have done. You honestly have made this story so much better than I ever thought possible.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>A large box clattered to the floor, spilling its contents onto the ground into a jumble of pages. Aziraphale sighed and bent down to pick up all the books and stacked them all neatly onto the shelves where they were supposed to go.</p><p>He stood up and adjusted his jumper which was getting creased and smattered with dirt and grime from the move he had been busy with all morning. He sighed and stretched, his back popping in several places. Aziraphale thought he was getting much too old to be doing manual labour but there was no helping it, he could only rely on himself and no one else. Although he didn’t mind too much. Honestly, he liked his life of solitude, being able to read whenever he wanted to, even if it was until the long hours of the night, which usually turned into the early hours of the morning. Or being able to enjoy whichever restaurant he fancied, no having to argue with others about where to go. It suited him just fine, even if he felt a little pang of loneliness when the silence stretched for too long in his flat which made his thoughts sound like they were echoing.</p><p>He shook his head and got back to work. There was still plenty he needed to get done and couldn’t waste time thinking about something like his own emotions. </p><p>After a few more hours, Aziraphale looked triumphantly at his new business venture, books stacked precariously on the tables that surrounded the full shelves. It had taken a few years to save up enough money for an initial payment on this building, not to mention the paperwork and the hoops he had to jump through just to take out a loan from the bank in order to lease the place. He would have much rather preferred to buy the building, but the down payment was much too expensive. For now he was content with essentially renting the building until he could buy it from the bank. One day he would be the proud owner of <em> A.Z. Fell Bookshop &amp; Co </em> but for now he had a place to house his books, and himself, until he could make a decent profit.</p><p>It took almost three weeks for Aziraphale to move into this shop. He really lucked out since it was large enough to house his massive collection of books, which he had been slowly collecting and putting into storage for several years now, and had a small flat upstairs which meant he didn’t have to pay for a separate flat in the city. Upstairs needed a lot of TLC in order for it to be habitable, but in the meantime he was able to add a fresh coat of paint and get a few rugs to make it feel more like a home; some of those rugs did manage to find themselves downstairs which he thought added something extra to the bookshop.</p><p>Over the past few days of moving in, he got to meet several of his neighbours who owned the shops surrounding his. There was a lovely woman who ran a bakery and tea shop to the right, a husband and wife who owned an art gallery across the street and a building down, and a man who also owned a bookshop right next door. Although this bookshop carried more intimate books than Aziraphale’s own shop, he made a point not to shake this man’s hand.</p><p>The day before the grand opening of <em> A.Z. Fell &amp; Co., </em> Aziraphale made an effort to finish meeting the rest of the business owners nearby. He got caught up in conversations at each shop and this effort took up most of the day. Just after lunch, he found himself walking directly across the street from his own shop to the only place he hadn’t had a chance to visit yet. The three-tiered shelving on either side of the door was filled with various types of flowers to catch the attention of any passersby on the street. </p><p>Aziraphale stopped to admire the plants that were placed in front of this flower shop. It looked like a peaceful little place and Aziraphale was a little curious as to what the owner would be like. The name <em> The Fall of Eden </em>was painted in gold on the large window just above the tiers of flowers. He questioned the religious name, but decided to enter anyway.</p><p>This shop was the most chaotically organized place he might have ever seen. The layout of the room looked to be a simple rectangle and was filled to the brim. All of the potted trees and bushes lined the windows near the entrance on either side of the door. They blocked out some of the light and gave the whole place a slight green hue. Once you made it past those, there were rows of flowers already cut to make bouquets arranged by color, running down the shop towards the back wall where a worktable sat with a register on one end. On either of the side walls, were shelves that held potted flowers, which were also arranged by color. </p><p>It was really meticulous and impressive. Aziraphale looked around for the owner, but didn’t see anyone.</p><p>“Hello?” He called out hesitantly. “Excuse me?” There was no response.</p><p>He turned and thought that perhaps it would be best to leave; perhaps the owner had to make a delivery or something. Although, if they were gone maybe Aziraphale should try and lock up or stay to ensure that no one stole anything from them. He looked back at the small trees that filled up the front half of the shop. There seemed to be slight movement in the branches of the potted trees.</p><p>He walked over and studied the branch trying to figure out what caused the movement, perhaps a bird of sorts flew in when he opened the door, although no sound specific to that type of animal could be heard. Aziraphale leaned in close to the tree, but didn’t see anything. He turned back around to face the counter and sighed; he could always come back later. Out of nowhere, a small weight settled on Aziraphale’s shoulder. In a confused state, he glanced sideways only to have black eyes staring unblinkingly at him and a fork tongue tasting the air lazily.</p><p> “Oh good lord!” He breathed out, and took a few large, panicked steps away from the tree.</p><p>The black snake’s head bobbed in the air for a moment. It seemed to look a bit disappointed, then it flicked its tongue and slowly retreated back into the tree. A deep, uninhibited laughter made Aziraphale turn towards it at once. There was a tall, willowy man standing a few steps away from him. His hair was shoulder-length, the colour of molten embers and his shoulders bobbed with the kind of laughter that was loud and melodic enough to echo in the shop. </p><p>“Sorry, she doesn’t usually bother people, you must have a rat hidden in your pocket.” </p><p>The man caught his breath and met Aziraphale’s gaze. His smile was absolutely stunning, it showed off all his teeth and wrinkled the corners of his eyes even though they were obscured by a dark set of sunglasses. He walked past Aziraphale and picked the reptile out of the tree to drape her like a fashion accessory on his shoulders, one finger scratching under the reptile’s jaw. </p><p>“Eve usually tends to stay away from customers, but she must like you.” </p><p>“Eve?” Aziraphale asked and couldn’t stop from giving this apparent shop owner a once over. </p><p>The first thing he noticed was that the black pants he wore were so tight, there could be no way they were actually comfortable. And while Aziraphale did find him to be fairly attractive, one failed relationship was enough to put him off of attempting another any time soon. He also looked to be somewhat of a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em” type, as the kids say. It would probably be best if Aziraphale just kept to being a polite neighbour.</p><p>The man placed a kiss on top of the snake’s head. “Yes, brought her here when I first got her and she took right away to an apple tree I had in the shop.” He gazed back at Aziraphale. “Thought the name was just sacrilegious enough to work.”</p><p>Aziraphale recalled the name of the shop and he felt his smile strain. The same type of smile he was still training himself out of when he had to open the shop and allow people to buy his books. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable with religion, but he was starting to grow more distant to the idea of organized religion as he got older. </p><p>“Anyway,” Crowley continued, “what can I do for you?” He walked back behind the counter. “You looking to get some plants for decoration or maybe a nice bouquet?” He cleaned off the work station while he talked, Eve curling the upper half of her body around his neck.</p><p>“Actually, I stopped by to introduce myself.” He stepped a little closer, but kept a wary eye on the reptile. Eve stretched herself down the man’s arm and started to explore the counter. “I just leased the place across the way.” </p><p>“Really? You are actually paying for that old building?”</p><p>“Yes,” Aziraphale spoke in a tight tone. “I am opening a bookshop.” </p><p>“A bookshop? Sounds nice.” He picked the snake and walked farther away from the counter towards the back wall. He continued to talk as Aziraphale watched him open a large glass tank and place the reptile in. “I’m just a bit surprised. That place has been vacant for years. Did you have to make a lot of repairs?” Eve made a very lazy attempt at an escape, but her owner just closed the lid and she gave up, making her way to the water dish to soak. </p><p>“Some. I was able to repair what I could.” </p><p>“Oh.” He walked back to the counter and stood across from Aziraphale. “A bookshop owner and a handyman. Aren’t you just the whole package?” There was laughter in his voice. Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile at the joke as well. </p><p>“I wouldn’t say that. I was barely able to do anything and I am just hoping it will be good enough until I make some money to hire a professional.”</p><p>“Well, I know my way around a toolbox…” He shrugged. “Sort of. If you need any help, just let me know.”</p><p>“Oh, that is terribly kind of you.” Aziraphale smiled. “I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name.” </p><p>“Crowley.” He extended his hand. </p><p>“Aziraphale.” They shook his hand, both smiling politely. “I should probably get back, I have a few more things to finish before opening day tomorrow.” </p><p>“Of course.” Crowley dropped his hand to his side. Without warning, his face lit up with an idea. He moved around the counter and walked past Aziraphale to a shelf that was covered in light-colored flowers and picked a potted plant that had a few white flowers that were just starting to bloom. “Here, it's a Gardenia. For good luck.” </p><p>“Thank you, it's absolutely lovely.” He inhaled the sweet smell of the flowers. “It was wonderful meeting you. Feel free to stop by my shop anytime.”</p><p>As he left Crowley’s little piece of Eden, he couldn’t help but feel happy. All his neighbors had been so kind, one going so far as to give him flowers for good luck, and they all welcomed him into the neighbourhood. He inhaled the scent of the flowers one more time and smiled, failing to remember the last time he felt as elated as in that moment.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Later that day, Aziraphale found himself sweeping the steps outside the entrance to his shop. He was putting the final touches on everything to make sure that absolutely everything was perfect. When the outside looked nice and tidy, which was somehow the opposite of how clean the inside was, Aziraphale looked up to see Crowley locking up his own shop across the street. Being the polite neighbour that he was, Azirapale waved and Crowley responded before heading to his car. </p><p>He made his way back into the bookshop where he fretted and worried over every bit of insignificant details; he fussed over the tables because he thought they weren’t in the right spots, he restocked several shelves thinking they couldn’t possibly be in the right order, then changed his mind and put them back. Finally, he double-checked everything in the backroom. </p><p>That was where he housed his most rare and expensive books. It was also his work place. He had a desk set up for him to study some of the books, or to restore and rebound others that were brought to him in a state of condition that was just appalling. That was how he was able to earn his money to purchase the shop: he got quite good at restorating rare books and the right people would pay handsomely for that type of service. </p><p>There was also a small bookshelf that sat off to the side. It was filled with personal books that Aziraphale would never dream of selling, some were very rare whereas others he collected in his childhood, thus making him a little sentimental over them. One of the titles in the nearby shelf caught his eye and he pulled it out. It was just a book on statistics from his university days. Honestly, he wasn’t really sure why he still kept it since he no longer needed it, but there were some pleasant memories tied to it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> “Excuse me,” a soft voice spoke up. Aziraphale, who sat at one of the tables, turned to face the petite woman who was trying to get his attention. He removed his fashionably old-looking glasses, which may have been old enough to be back in style at some point in the near future, and smiled softly at the woman. “I’m sorry, but the library is going to be closing soon.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Of course.” He nodded and unceremoniously shoved his notebooks and pens into the shoulder bag, before he grabbed the stack of books that sat on the table next to him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The books teetered precariously in his arms as he made his way out of the library. He only managed a couple of steps before gravity won the battle and the books took a nosedive out of his hands. They clattered to the ground and he groaned in frustration as he was forced to kneel down and start picking them back up.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just as he was going for the fourth book, someone else knelt down next to him. “Here, let me help.” The man looked to be the same age as he, if not slightly older than Aziraphale. He spoke with an obvious american accent and his neat brown hair must have been fixed in place with a lot of hair product because the light wind couldn't displace a strand. Then there was the smile, a little too perfect and a little too clipped; it didn't quite reach his eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Don't I know you?" he said, squinting a bit at Aziraphale after they finished picking up the books and stood up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m afraid not. I don’t really have many friends.” Aziraphale said, barley keeping eye contact. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Aren’t you in my stats class?” His face suddenly relaxed like something dawned on him. “Yeah, you’re the one who threw off the curve.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He looked away from his apparent coursemate. Several people in his class had not been happy with the fact that the professor refused to curve the midterm because Aziraphale got a perfect score which negated the need for a curve. When the knowledge got out of who that had been, everyone seemed to collectively agree that they would never acknowledge his presence which made for a very lonely first semester of college.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes, I apologize for that.” He glanced at the other man; there was no hatred or disdain on his face. “I didn’t know I would damage the class like that.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His companion laughed. “Don’t worry about it. After all, isn't it the purpose of college to pass your classes and get a degree?” He shifted the books to one arm and extended his free hand. “I’m Gabriel by the way.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Aziraphale.” He shook the proffered hand.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well Aziraphale, you seem to have a lot of books.” Gabriel shifted his once more in his arms. “How about I walk with you so you don’t have to carry all these by yourself.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I couldn’t impose on you like that.” Aziraphale protested, but Gabriel just shook his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t worry about it. I could use the exercise.” He smiled once again, and it still didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Lead the way.”  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Aziraphale flicked through the pages of the book absentmindedly. It had been such a long while since he thought about Gabriel. He remembered that night when they met, how he fretted for three days after Gabriel gave him his number wondering what it meant and if the study date Gabriel had set up was actually a date or not. Eventually, their friendship developed due to the time they spent together while studying for their shared classes.</p><p>A flash of other, less pleasant memories made him snap the book closed. He shoved it back onto the shelf with a slight scowl on his face.  He had hoped that the passage of time would have helped heal some of the old scars left behind by Gabriel, but it didn’t seem to. These old wounds opened right back up and he could almost hear everything that had been said to him, their old arguments, and Gabriel’s final words before he walked out the door forever. Aziraphale couldn’t decide if he was more angry at how everything ended or disappointed that there was no one else who held a significant spot in his heart. </p><p>He cleared his mind and refocused on the task at hand. He had a shop to open after all, and he was going to be damn sure it was successful. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gardenia symbolizes hidden/secret love<br/>Periwinkle symbolizes memories</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Periwinkle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first week after Aziraphale officially opened the bookshop was busier than he had expected. Even though he wasn’t able to advertise that much, the amount of foot traffic on the street drew in more than enough people. Most were content just browsing the shelves, but he was able to make a decent amount of money for an opening week. There were several antique books that he kept in the backroom. These were the ones that customers were not allowed to riffle through although there were a few offers for some of his first editions. He turned them down, even though some of those people left contact information if he changed his mind. It was nice to know that if he was in an absolutely desperate situation, he did have a way to make some money.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two weeks had passed, Aziraphale realised one night as he locked up. It had been two weeks since the shop opened, and he hadn’t stepped outside except to go to the store and pick up groceries. This was not a healthy habit to develop. He didn’t have anyone to go out with, but he knew that keeping himself locked up would only cause more problems later down the line. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew of a pub that was just down the street. Perhaps he could go out for one drink just to ease himself out of his comfort zone. Aziraphale picked up a book and headed out the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a brisk walk, Aziraphale stood outside the small pub. He looked at the bricked walls that surrounded the wooden door and debated briefly going back to his bookshop. Aziraphale shook his head, he promised himself he would go out that night and he was going to do it. With a new resolve, he pushed open the heavy door and walked into the pub.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The inside was a little darker than Aziraphale expected. Although there were large windows that took up nearly one entire wall, with the sun already starting to set, the only source of illumination came from the dim fluorescent bulbs that hung overhead. There was a row of tables that lined the walls, and people were scattered through most of the tables and the tall seats at the bar. The music playing was low enough that conversation could still be possible. It was the kind of place you would expect people to just unwind after work and talk with others, rather than someplace that the younger crowd would clog up with their insistence of dancing and drinking to excess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale decided to take one of the tables in the corner, which seemed to have the most amount of light. He sat at the little table and ordered the house red wine when the waitress came up to him. She seemed to be a polite young girl, perhaps a university student of sorts. He watched her entire body language change as she approached the bartender to put in the drink order. She leaned over the counter and twisted a lock of her blonde hair in her fingers. The bartender, a woman who must have been a few years older than the waitress, walked over and poured a glass of wine. He could see the waitress gently place her hand on the other woman’s forearm and thank her, a timid smile playing across her lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile as well, it was heartwarming to see young love. That warm feeling soon disappeared as he realised he couldn't even remember the last time he experienced those kinds of feelings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon enough, his drink was dropped off and he was left alone to enjoy the company of his book. It turned out to be a pleasant time; he sipped the red blend, which wasn’t all that bad, and read through his book. The faint buzz of conversation filled the air which was actually relaxing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A familiar voice drifted over from the bar counter and Aziraphale looked up. The red hair looked to be familiar, although he couldn’t place the style, half of it pulled up into a messy bun while the rest draped across the man’s shoulders. When he turned to watch the bartender make his drink, Aziraphale recognized the sharp features of Crowley and his first reaction was to stand up and walk over, but he hesitated, not wanting to intrude on the other man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley almost inhaled his drink as soon as it was set in front of him. Something was wrong. His shoulders were slumped over and he glowered at his empty glass. Aziraphale decided that it was time to try to be a friend to his neighbor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good evening,” Aziraphale smiled politely and stood next to the empty chair near Crowley who didn’t appear surprised by Aziraphale’s presence when he looked up and nodded. “I hope it would not be too much of an imposition to join you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley didn’t say anything. He just pulled out the seat next to him and gestured for the man to sit down. It was awkward between them for a while. Aziraphale couldn't find a topic to break the silence. Crowley looked at his empty glass and tapped the countertop to indicate to the bartender for another. The woman poured another double shot of Jameson and she also refilled Aziraphale’s wine glass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Been a busy opening?” Crowley finally managed to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quite,” Aziraphale said. “Although it is a little painful to have to let go of my books.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley snorted into his glass. “Really, a bookshop that doesn’t want to sell books?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I have had many of them for a while and they have become sort of like a family to me.” He took another sip of his drink. “Although I would never dare to part with any of my first editions.” The silence crept back between the two when Crowley didn’t respond. “How are you doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Truthfully, you don’t seem fine.” Aziraphale remarked trying to keep his voice gentle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Truthfully, it’s none of your business.” Crowley said, his tone even. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That hurt. Aziraphale was just trying to be polite and he didn’t appreciate the rudeness of Crowley’s comment. He apologized, although he really didn’t mean it, and took his drink to move back to his original table.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley grabbed his arm, a gentle reassuring pressure indicating he really didn’t want Aziraphale to leave. “Sorry, it's just been a bad day.” Aziraphale caught the defeat on his possible-friend’s face, so he sat once again and waited for Crowley to continue. “I’ve been at the vet all day with Eve. It looks like she has a respiratory infection.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh dear, poor thing!” Aziraphale placed his hand over his heart in sympathy. “Will she be okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’ll be fine. She won’t like the medicine nor not being able to have free range of the shop for a while, but she’ll be alright.” Crowley downed the last of his drink. “It’ll cost a pretty penny too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you need to borrow-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Crowley said sharply before Aziraphale could even finish the question. His tone softened. “Heavens no. I have friends of... dubious morals who can always find me some side jobs.” He looked up with a small smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, let me at least buy you dinner. As a thank you for the flowers and to help cheer you up.” Aziraphale enjoyed saying those words more than anything, so he couldn’t help but smile once more. Although he was only two glasses of wine in, he could feel the light-headedness form. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not really hungry.” Crowley stood and threw some money on the counter. Aziraphale reached to get his own wallet, but Crowley wouldn’t let him pay for his drinks. “But I could use the company. There is this little cafe not too far away. I think you might like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small cafe looked like it was family-owned and they took great pride in it. There was a small chalkboard sign listing the specials in curley, yellow and red letters. A few pictures were scattered on some of the walls that showed three children growing over time, presumably the owners’ children. A general atmosphere of love hung over the cafe, and it warmed Aziraphale’s heart to see such ownership over this small establishment. He was delighted that this was the kind of place that Crowley chose to bring him to.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped their food would be just as lovely. Aziraphale eyed the pastries in the glass display, and he instantly felt famished. Everything looked so tempting that he already knew he would like this place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were only a handful of tables but each was decorated with a small tea candle and yellow flowers. They sat at the table closest to the window facing the street. Crowley ordered a coffee and an eclair for himself while Aziraphale got a pumpkin soup that was, in fact, wonderful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The conversation flowed endlessly from Aziraphale, he found himself enjoying the company, especially with someone whose attention and entire body language looked as if he was pending from every word that Aziraphale was saying. He told Crowley about his studies, about how he was able to get an apprenticeship after his business degree to learn book binding, and ultimately how he was able to open his own bookshop. Aziraphale couldn’t remember the last time someone had actually listened to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while, he realised that Crowley had hardly said anything. He didn’t want to monopolize the whole night, so he decided to get to know his new companion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you?” Aziraphale asked in between spoonfuls of soup. “Did you attend University?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did, but it didn't agree with me.” Crowley placed his fork down only two bites into the eclair. The other looked questioningly at his answer. “Well, those friends I talked about earlier. We had a few too many drinks one night and decided to mess with the Dean's car. He told me to choose between staying and having charges pressed against me or dropping out and being free of everything. I figured if I'm my own boss, what do I need a degree for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm so sorry to hear that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be.” He shrugged, “Everything worked out fine.” He slid the eclair over towards the other man. “Here, I’m not much into sweets. You can have the rest if you want.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I couldn’t possibly,” Aziraphale protested, although he did eye the pastry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it's going to go to waste if you don’t have it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was all prompting that Aziraphale needed. He picked up his spoon and cut off a piece. It was truly a marvelous morsel. He hummed in appreciation when he tasted the homemade pastry. He didn’t realize he closed his eyes until he opened them to see Crowley staring at him with the biggest smile he had ever shown Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swallowed and apologized, recalling the way Gabriel used to roll his eyes when Aziraphale enjoyed dessert too much. It must have really been annoying for other people to witness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, I knew you’d like it.” Crowley picked up his own fork again and cut a small portion from the other side. He finished the bite and leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table. “So, a bookshop? Why a bookshop?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale just smiled back, relaxed a little, and continued to eat the eclair. He talked about growing up and remembering spending hours engrossed in books. Some of the best memories he had were with his books and family. He decided early on that he wanted to own a large library and a bookshop was pretty similar, only he had to give up some books to keep it open. He hoped that one day he would earn enough money that he wouldn’t need to sell them anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two continued conversing until the waitress showed up and handed over the bill, while discreetly telling them that the cafe was going to close soon. Aziraphale covered the cheque and they walked back towards their respective shops.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At this point, Aziraphale realised what he intended to only be an hour away from his shop, turned into the entire evening. He should have felt more uneasy being away from his shop for this long, especially since he ended up spending the evening with someone who he barely knew. It was a strange feeling, being so content with spending his time around Crowley rather than his own books. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Need a lift home?” Crowley asked as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I actually have a flat above my shop.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That explains it then. I thought you were just one of those working stiffs who spent more time at work than at home.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale thought that comment to be a little strange. He hadn’t realised that Crowley was noticing his comings and goings around the shop. Perhaps it was just because the flower shop was usually open in the mornings before the bookshop, which meant Crowley wouldn’t see him arrive to open his doors. From that perspective, it would make it seem like Aziraphale was there long before Crowley showed up which was true but only because he lived above the shop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He also thought that maybe Crowley would have wanted to keep watch as an excuse to ‘accidentally’ bump into him in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale shook that silly notion out of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's hard to distinguish when they are one and the same.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you ever need a break, I promise not to put you to work in my shop.” He held up three fingers in a scout’s honour salute. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale just chuckled. “That is very kind of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, watch it!” Crowley glanced at him. “I can’t have you spreading rumors that I’m kind. I have a reputation to uphold.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry. Does that ruin your dark and mysterious visage?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you have heard, good to know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They laughed and continued their walk in a comfortable silence, shoulders brushing every couple of steps. Aziraphale realised in that moment how content he felt in the presence of the other. He didn’t get along with too many people, most found him to be a bit stuck up and pretentious, but Crowley never once indicated anything of the sort. He was really great company, and the friendship seemed natural, almost like they had known each other for a long time already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He side-eyed the man walking next to him and took in how the sharp angles of his face seemed to be a bit more exaggerated in the darkness with only the soft glow of the streetlamps for light. Although his dark sunglasses still remained on, despite the fact that the sun had set hours ago and there was obviously no need for them. Aziraphale watched the swagger he kept up as he walked, and couldn’t quite decide if it was an act or if he truly walked like he was unaccustomed to having legs. Either way, it was an adorable little quirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His thoughts seemed to trip over themselves at that moment. He felt a little embarrassed that the word adorable had been used in the same thought as Crowley. Obviously he was attractive, anyone could see that, but he really had no right to be thinking about him in any other manner than friendship. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His inner struggles were interrupted when they reached the bookshop. Aziraphale wasn’t quite sure what was appropriate for his goodbye to Crowley given their limited time spent together; a hug seemed too forward yet a handshake was too formal. Aziraphale stopped in front of his door, turned to look at Crowley, and waited for an indication of how to end the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had a wonderful time this evening,” Aziraphale said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, uh, me too.” Crowley rubbed the back of his neck in what looked to be a nervous gesture. “Beats getting drunk by myself.” That comment brought Aziraphale back to why he ended up spending the night with Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will Eve be okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nodded. “She just needs time to rest. I have to give her another round of medicine in the morning.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you need me to check on her at all?” Aziraphale put the offer out there, but he wasn’t really sure what he could possibly do. “I presume she stays at the shop overnight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley smirked. “Well, aren’t you just a saint. Don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite as nice as you.” Aziraphale could feel his face heat up a bit at the compliment. “Thanks for the offer, but Eve will be fine overnight. I’ll see you in the morning though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” Aziraphale tried to regain his composure. “Goodnight, Crowley.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night.” He waved casually in Aziraphale's direction as he crossed the street to his Bentley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once inside, he leaned against the door and allowed himself to smile. It was one of the best nights he had had in as long as he could remember.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his back room, he set down the book he brought with him that night. He figured since he ended up not getting much reading done in favor of pleasant conversation, he could probably get through a few chapters tomorrow if business was slow. Before turning and going to bed, something caught his eye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached out and picked up the picture that was placed on top of his desk, shoved between some papers and books. It was worn down and frayed around the edges. It used to have a prized spot on his desk in the dorm, and it seemed to retain that spot in his new shop, but not entirely on purpose. It was a leftover from his previous relationship and he had actually managed to forget about this particular picture. He looked down at a younger version of himself, in his plaid jumper and khaki pants, leaning against Gabriel who had an arm wrapped around his shoulders and was kissing his forehead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The picture was taken very early on in their relationship. They were spending time with a few of Gabriel’s friends after class one afternoon and this picture was taken without either being aware. Aziraphale used to love this because he thought it showed the real Gabriel, the one that was hidden away and who only he was allowed to see. Now he thought it was all for show. People constantly change, and Gabriel was the ultimate proof of that. Everything started out perfect and sweet, but their relationship devolved over time. Who was to say that this same thing wouldn't happen with his friendship with Crowley? He opened the bottom drawer of his desk and tossed the photo inside, slamming it closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really, you invited that weirdo?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Aziraphale could hear a female voice float down the hallway just as he was approaching Gabriel’s door, which was cracked open just a bit. He paused in his walk. It wasn’t the first time he overheard people talking about him without his knowledge. Usually, people weren’t the kindest to someone who was different. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, be nice,” Gabriel reprimanded the other person. “He’s the reason I passed my classes this semester. He’s not that bad once you get to know him. I promise.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He contemplated leaving at that moment. He could easily just send a text saying that something came up and then pretend that he never heard the conversation and just continue the study sessions when Gabriel needed them. He knew it was a little too good to be true that he actually made a friend. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Plus, you guys will have to get to know him. I’m going to be inviting him around more often.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Aziraphale looked at the door and a small smile crept onto his face. If Gabriel wanted him there, then he should go in. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He walked up to the door and knocked softly. The slightly ajar door opened even more and within seconds Gabriel was in front of him with a large smile and a hug in greeting. He stiffened slightly; they had never hugged before and the smell of whisky was very evident on Gabriel.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m glad you could make it.” He guided Aziraphale into the living room with a hand on the small of his back. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel made the introductions with the people sitting around the room. There was Michael, a thin woman with her curled hair pulled into an immaculate bun, Uriel, a taller woman with a dark complexion that helped make her golden eyeshadow more vibrant than it could have been, and a short man who looked very much like he was more of a henchman than a friend and whose name was Sandalphon.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel took the bottle of wine that Aziraphale had brought with him and went into the kitchen to open it up. He apologized for not having a proper wine glass when he came back with the bottle opened and a simple glass that people used for water. He sat back in one of the open spaces on the couch and gestured for Aziraphale to take the open spot next to him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This wasn’t what Aziraphale thought of as a typical college party, but he found he enjoyed himself. They played a few drinking games, one with cards that Aziraphale never really got the hang of wound up finishing his bottle much faster than anticipated, but luckily Gabriel found he had a different bottle of wine that his parents sent him as a congratulations for passing his finals. Uriel and Micheal made their way to the balcony to smoke which Aziraphale politely declined. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was well after midnight when the last of Gabriel’s friends left, leaving only the two of them in Gabriel’s flat.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alls I’m saying,” Aziraphale slurred and tried to remain upright, “is that Shakespere is important to study, it can’t be cut out of school. Y'know?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel rolled his eyes. “But it's so boring. And you can’t even understand what is going on half the time.” He dropped his head to rest on the back of the couch. Through a drunken haze Aziraphale looked over at Gabriel and watched as his eyes drift down- as if he was focused on something on Aziraphale’s face. When he went to ask about it, his addled brain couldn’t decide how to word the question.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel leaned in just a little more towards him and Aziraphale found himself feeling a little more sober when he took into account how close they suddenly became.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I should go.” Aziraphale found himself saying, yet he made no attempt to move. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel reached over and grabbed the bottle of wine. “No, you need to finish your drink.” He poured the remaining red liquid into his glass which was filled far more than socially acceptable. “It would be a shame to let it go to waste.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Aziraphale smiled and brought the glass to his lips and took a small sip. Heis stomach protested at the alcohol and he decided that it would have to be enough. He leaned forward and placed the glass on the coffee table in front of him. When he leaned back to reclaim his seat, he noticed Gabriel had shifted and moved even closer leaving barely even an inch between them. He also had discarded his own glass as well. Before Aziraphale could say anything, Gabriel had placed his hand on his cheek, the warmth of the palm like fire on his skin. Aziraphale sat in stunned silence, almost forgetting how to breathe. Gabriel leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Once Aziraphale’s brain fired back up, he returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel leaned more heavily into the other, his other hand found its way on the couch behind Aziraphale. The kiss deepened when Aziraphale tilted his head slightly. It only took a few moments for Gabriel to shift his body until he was practically on top of Aziraphale. In his drunken state, Aziraphale didn’t register what was happening until he felt the back of his head against the armrest of the couch, and Gabriel’s hand moved from his chest towards his belt.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Aziraphale broke the kiss and placed his hand on Gabriel’s chest. The two looked at each other while trying to regain control of their breathing. Aziraphale cleared his throat and dared to speak first. “What is happening?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I thought that was rather obvious.” Gabriel smirked and attempted to resume the kiss. The other just pushed his chest hard to halt the movement.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gabriel, I don’t do one night stands.” Aziraphale spoke with a confidence he didn’t know he had. Gabriel just nodded his head. “Nor am I particularly fond of a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement.” Gabriel laughed at the air quotes.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ok.” He sat up which left space for Aziraphale to sit up as well. “Come to bed with me.” He said in a perfectly charming voice. Aziraphale opened his mouth to protest. “No, I mean… You are far too drunk to walk home. I am too drunk to have this conversation right now. Come to bed, we’ll get some sleep, and talk in the morning. Okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Against his better judgement, Aziraphale nodded and followed Gabriel to the only bedroom in the flat. This was not something Aziraphale thought he would ever do, spending the night with someone who he considered a friend, but his wine drunk mind was having trouble thinking of a reason why this was a bad idea. The place was clean and organized, he actually wanted to laugh at the labels that Gabriel had for every bin and drawer in the room, but decided it would be best not to. He was too nervous to admit that this was a first for him. No one had ever actually shown an interest in him, so he never had an opportunity to be a teenager and sleep around with people and hence never shared a bed with another person. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t look so scared,” Gabriel mused. “We don’t have to do anything, just sleep off the alcohol. You’ll feel better in the morning.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel gave him a pair of pajama pants which were a little too tight around the waist to be all that comfortable, and they each crawled into the perfectly pressed grey sheets on the bed. Gabriel placed a soft kiss on his forehead and somehow Aziraphale’s head wound up on Gabriel’s chest. He fell asleep to Gabriel’s steady heartbeat, and a hand gently running through his hair. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Periwinkle symbolizes memories</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Peonies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the following weeks, Crowley stopped by more often. At first, it was just to see how his shop was doing, then it slowly started to become more social. He found that he enjoyed Crowley’s company more than anything. He was so charming and quick with a retort to anything Aziraphale had to say. It had been a while since Aziraphale met someone who would keep up wits with him without being demeaning in any way. Most people just assumed he was trying to make them feel inferior when he would talk about literature, but he was actually hoping someone could engage him in conversation. Crowley proved to be the one to do that.</p>
<p>It started over a book. Aziraphale was reshuffling a few things around because he didn’t really like the layout of some novels so he decided to move them around. He placed an old copy of “Of Mice and Men” on a table where Crowley was hovering, talking about how ridiculous a customer had been which made him close up early for lunch and come over to the bookshop. He eyed the old copy and started talking about how much he disliked the book. Aziraphale was horrified that he could hate such a classic story. They had gotten into a heated discussion where Crowley revealed he didn’t like the book simply because of the ending.</p>
<p>“Really?” Aziraphale asked. “How could you not like it? It’s such a heartbreaking act of kindness.”</p>
<p>“Kindness?” Crowley scowled. “For who? The one who got shot or the one who has to live the rest of his life with the memory of him killing his best friend?” </p>
<p>Aziraphale paused. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought Crowley sounded distraught. It broke his heart to hear Crowley speak in that tone. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him in for a hug. Since he wasn’t sure how that would be received, Aziraphale didn’t try. Instead he told Crowley to follow him into the back room.</p>
<p>This was the first time that Aziraphale allowed another person into the backroom of his shop. This was where the most precious books were and where he never thought he'd willingly invite someone. He didn’t want to think about what this meant on how he viewed this newly formed friendship. Instead, he went straight to his desk and pulled out an old battered copy of a book.</p>
<p>“Have you read this?” </p>
<p>He held up a copy of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. It wasn’t a first edition, unlike many of the other books in this room. Instead it was a personal copy he received during his childhood. He had re-read this copy more times than he could keep track of and while he always took the best care of his books, it was only a matter of time before the amount of use took its toll on the paperback. This book had always been something that he could count on to cheer himself up. Secretly he had always wished for someone like Mr. Darcy that he could fall in love with. The closest he ever got was Gabriel who acted more like Wickham than anything.</p>
<p>“Didn’t they make that into a movie?” Crowley’s question broke him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, it's a chick flick.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale huffed. “You know, you can be perfectly masculine and still enjoy romantic novels.”</p>
<p>Crowley just held his arms out in mock surrender. “I didn’t say you couldn’t.” He reached out and took the old copy from Aziraphale, fingers brushing for just a moment. “I’ll give it a shot.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale had to stop himself from lecturing Crowley on the proper way to take care of his book. He didn’t want to scare him off of reading it altogether.</p>
<p>Crowley insisted the book was alright but not really something he would willingly read when he came to return it a few days later. However, after a few glasses of wine in the back room of the shop he rambled on about how much he actually loved the book and how foolish Elizabeth had been to not fall for Darcy right away. Aziraphale smiled at how adorable Crowley was after a few drinks, he tended to go on and on about whatever thoughts filled his mind. Mentally he scolded himself for using the word ‘adorable’ to describe Crowley again. While there was a definite attraction that Aziraphale felt towards his friend, he knew he couldn’t act on it. Crowley was his friend first and foremost. He would never do anything to jeopardize that.</p>
<p>After that night, he tried to be careful about putting a little distance between the two of them. He didn’t want Crowley to figure out the internal struggle that he was having. But it seemed that every time Aziraphale tried to take a step back, Crowley was right there to pull him back in. If Aziraphale would purposely work through lunch as a distraction, Crowley would show up the next day with an extra lunch to insist he take a break and eat something.</p>
<p>Aziraphale had to find the right balance to maintain his friendship without giving into his own feelings that started to develop. Through the weeks it became more and more difficult. </p>
<p>One such difficult incident came on an early Sunday morning when Crowley showed up and dragged Aziraphale out of the shop before he had a chance to protest. He got into the Bently for the first time that morning. They usually tended to go places within walking distance. He was all sorts of excited up until the moment Crowley sped off down the road. Aziraphale immediately clutched anything and everything he could to steady himself in the passenger's seat.</p>
<p>“Where are we going Crowley?” Aziraphale tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but failed spectacularly. His pitch was much too high and gasped at every twitch and turn of the car. “Dear, don’t you think you should slow-” Aziraphale covered his eyes as Crowley darted between lanes. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.” Crowley just smiled. Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he was commenting on the destination or the driving. </p>
<p>After a terrifying fifteen minutes, the Bently finally stopped. Aziraphale released the white knuckled grip on the dashboard in front of him and opened his eyes; he didn’t remember when he had closed them in the first place. The pair exited the car and Aziraphale finally figured out where they were. The small street was closed to all vehicles, but it was filled with small tents and people. It was the most magnificent farmer’s market that Aziraphale had seen. Every vendor was selling something different, from produce to homemade soaps. The smell that caught on the wind was a delightful mixture of everything ranging from freshly baked bread, falafels, baked potatoes, and more pastries than Aziraphale had ever seen in such a small space. He was already bouncing on his heels imagining all the treats he could sample. </p>
<p>“Oh my dear, this is wonderful.” He wore a broad smile and turned back to his companion. Crowley was chewing his lip, a nervous habit that Aziraphale had started to notice, but once he saw Aziraphale’s reaction he allowed a smile to take over his face as well. Aziraphale grabbed a handful of Crowley’s jacket and dragged him into the market. </p>
<p>They talked to each other while they looked at all the vendors. Aziraphale engaged in a deep conversation with one lady who had a booth covered in various types of jewelry. She was telling them all about the healing power of certain stones and when stars were out it would promote prosperity with other jewels. Aziraphale listened with rapt attention, even if he didn’t believe a word of it. Crowley on the other hand just rolled his eyes, crossed his arms and asked several questions that contradicted everything she said just to watch her flail. Aziraphale ended up buying a painted rock that was supposed to bring happiness for all she had to endure with Crowley’s questioning. He gave it to Crowley, who scolded him for wasting money but tucked it inside his jacket pocket. They strolled past all the vendors gathering anything they thought looked good.</p>
<p>After almost two hours, Aziraphale had several different small boxes that were filled with various pastries and treats he indulged in. Crowley was stuck carrying the rest of the bags, of course. They drove back to the shop, which was no less terrifying than the drive over, and Crowley volunteered to help put all the purchases away. Aziraphale thought it to be odd that Crowley wasn’t taking any of it home, but he explained that he was in the bookshop more often than at home nowadays anyway. And at least this way he wouldn’t have to worry about making lunch to bring to work, he could just come over instead. Aziraphale smiled at the thought that Crowley would be there each day.</p>
<p>“I’ve got an idea,” Crowley hopped onto Aziraphale’s kitchen island. “I think we picked up all the stuff for it, how about we open a bottle of wine and make an attempt at an apple pie?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t know.” Aziraphale finished putting away the last of their findings from the day’s excursion. “I’m not too good at baking.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter, it’ll be fun.” Crowley reached out and plucked one of the apples that sat in a decorative bowl on the island. “What do you say?” He extended it toward Aziraphale who eyed the fruit and Crowley a bit suspiciously. Although when he saw the smile that Crowley held on his face, he felt the protest die in his throat. </p>
<p>“Alright, alright.” Aziraphale took the fruit from Crowley. “But just remember, I warned you that I am rubbish at baking.”</p>
<p>Crowley instantly came to life: he opened all the drawers and cabinets to try and find everything they would need to make a pie. Aziraphale let him riffle through the kitchen and opened one of the bottles of wine he had in the kitchen. It turned out that they actually worked fairly well together. Crowley showed him the proper way to roll out the dough for the crust. Aziraphale attempted to copy the movements with the rolling pin, but couldn’t quite get it to be even. Aziraphale made a frustrated noise when he looked at the lumpy dough he tried to roll out for the top of the pie. </p>
<p>“Here,” He tried to pass the rolling pin to Crowley who paused with his wine glass lifted halfway to his mouth. “I don’t think I can get this right.”</p>
<p>“You’re doing fine.” Crowley placed the glass down and walked over to Aziraphale. Crowley came up from behind him and crowded close. He placed his hands over Aziraphale’s hands on the pin. “You just gotta use enough force, like this.” </p>
<p>Crowley moved his hands along with Aziraphale’s and rolled out the dough. He continued to guide him and explain what to do, but at that point Aziraphale couldn’t comprehend anything with Crowley pressed flush against him, hands much softer and gentler than Aziraphale expected. They provided a pleasant warmth against Aziraphale’s hands the longer they stayed together. That brief point of contact was soon lost, though, and Aziraphale felt so much colder than before. </p>
<p>They continued to work and sip at the wine while assembling the pie. After the moment with the rolling pin, Aziraphale couldn’t help but feel hyper aware of every casual touch from Crowley. A small brush of the back of a hand when reaching over to grab an apple slice to eat, shoulder brushing up against each other when trying to seal the top of the crust, a hand placed on the small of his back to move past and fetch another glass of wine. Each small touch felt like lightning and the sensation ran down his spine. He wasn’t sure why he longed for more each time they separated, he just knew he had to find an excuse to do it again.</p>
<p>Crowley placed the pie in the oven and turned back around with a smile.</p>
<p> "Thank you, my dear."</p>
<p>Crowley just stared at him blankly for a few moments before looking down at his own hands as they fiddled with one of the buttons on his jacket. Aziraphale couldn't tell if the pink in his cheeks was from the alcohol or if he was actually blushing.</p>
<p>"So, you call everyone that?"</p>
<p>Aziraphale was a little confused. He usually ended up calling people by different terms of endearment. Lately he found that Crowley was the only one he called ‘dear’. He wasn’t sure when it happened exactly, it could be due to the fact that he hadn’t really had anyone else around besides Crowley.  </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, do you not like it?"</p>
<p>"No, no, no." Crowley waved his hands as if to stop that train of thought. "S'fine, just wondering, is all."</p>
<p>“Well then, if you don’t mind.” He pointed to the new bottle of wine that sat on the counter behind Crowley who took the hint and reached behind him to pick it up and extended it towards the other. Just as Aziraphale went to close his fingers around the bottle, he decided to have a bit of fun. </p>
<p>“Thank you, <em> my dear </em>.” He added extra emphasis to the endearment. </p>
<p>This seemed to make Crowley stop functioning properly, the blush on his face deepened to an almost scarlet color, and he stopped his movements. He made some type of surprised incoherent noise and his grip on the bottle loosened slightly. Said bottle took the freefall towards the ground. Luckily Aziraphale already had his hand outstretched and caught it only half a second later. Crowley swore and apologized which just made Aziraphale chuckle.</p>
<p>Three bottles of wine later, the pie was pulled out of the oven. It was lopsided, slightly burnt, and the apples were a little too crunchy. They enjoyed it together.</p>
<p>Aziraphale woke the next morning in his own bed with a headache. He was still fully dressed from the night before, although he didn’t remember when he had made his way to bed. Just as he sat up, the door creaked open slightly. Crowley entered with a cup in his hand. He paused when he noticed Aziraphale was awake. </p>
<p>“I hope I didn’t wake you.” </p>
<p>“Not at all dear.” Aziraphale sat up against the headboard. “I hope the couch wasn’t too uncomfortable for you.”   </p>
<p>“Nah, it was good. Here.” He set a small, white cup down on the nightstand. </p>
<p>He could smell the jasmine tea, the one that Crowley picked up the previous day at the market. Well, not quite right. Aziraphale had debating over several types of loose tea that one of the vendors had on display. Just as he was going to cave and buy the entire stock Crowley waltzed up behind him and commented on how good the jasmine smelled. That had sealed the deal for Aziraphale. He smiled at the memory. </p>
<p>Before he could thank Crowley, the man continued, “I’m going to run home and get a shower, but I’ll stop by around lunchtime.”</p>
<p>“You could use my shower,” Aziraphale blurted out before his brain could really wake up this morning.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Crowley looked a little taken aback. “Thanks for the offer, but I also got to change clothes, doubt you have anything in my style.” He chuckled. </p>
<p>“Oh, of course dear.” Aziraphale looked down at his hands. “How silly of me.”</p>
<p>“Nah, S’very sweet of you. I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>Crowley started to walk away when Aziraphale noticed something. He should have picked up on it instantly, but maybe he was more tired than he thought. The cup that Crowley placed on his nightstand didn’t belong to him. It was a beautiful handmade white ceramic mug, although instead of a handle it had angel wings. Each feather on the wings was carved in and showed the imperfections of human craftsmanship over a machine. </p>
<p>“Crowley?” Crowley stopped dead in his tracks. He turned slowly back around to face Aziraphale. “Where did this cup come from? It’s not one of mine.”</p>
<p>“I uh, I picked it up yesterday.” He rubbed the back of his neck and Aziraphale did pick up on the redness of his cheeks as it started to spread. “From the market, I just saw it and… I dunno, thought it fit you well enough.” He shrugged and avoided eye contact. Aziraphale was too stunned to say anything. “Anyway, I’ve got to- um. I’ll see you later.” Before Aziraphale could respond, Crowley was out the door. </p>
<p>Looking back over at the cup, Aziraphale smiled so wide it almost hurt. He never had anyone pick up something for him just because. The warmth of the tea soaked into his fingers and he clutched it close to his chest. It couldn’t hurt to open the shop a little late that day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Aziraphale looked down at his watch. Only ten minutes left until he could close up. He was working quickly on updating his inventory. He couldn’t afford a computer quite yet to keep track of all his expenses and income, so he was forced to keep track of everything by hand. This was an extensive process that usually kept him working for a few hours after closing time. Feeling constantly exhausted because he was running on very little sleep the last few days, he decided that the following day he would open the shop a few hours later than normal so he could try and catch up on some rest. </p>
<p>He looked over at the plant next to the cash register. He allowed a small smile to creep up on his face. Several of his neighbors had stopped by throughout the weeks to see how he was faring which was very kind of them. He reached out and stroked one leaf as he remembered the way Crowley looked when he handed him the plant, there was a definite warmth held in the way his face lit up, and his eyes crinkled behind the ever present sunglasses.</p>
<p>Aziraphale allowed himself to get lost in the memories that all seemed to revolve around Crowley. Within seconds his hand stilled, the smile dropped, and he felt a little ill. He recognized those feelings, he had had them once before. Memories of crowding over textbooks, laughing and drinking in an apartment, and walks together arm-in-arm, flooded his mind. He swallowed dryly and removed his hand from the plant. Once upon a time he had felt that new, nervous energy around Gabriel and that had turned out so poorly.</p>
<p>Part of him knew he was overreacting. After all, there was no way that Crowley would feel the same about him. He didn’t think of himself as an attractive person, he was always told he was a little too pudgy and a little too wrapped up in his books for people to actually want to date him. Familiar words echoed in his mind. He was just an out of shape guy who acted almost twice his age, who would possibly want him?</p>
<p>Aziraphale closed the ledger and sighed. He decided he would have to finish in the morning, his eyes were strained and every pen mark started to look blurry. He rubbed his tired eyes and wasn’t surprised when he noticed a few tears had started to form. With the memories of Gabriel fresh in his mind Aziraphale decided to go to bed early, he didn’t feel like dinner.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Peonies symbolizes bashfulness, romance, or compassion</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Carnation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Warnings Apply: Non-graphic Dub-Con</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>One day, about three months after the opening of the shop, Aziraphale woke up with a small headache. It wasn’t anything to throw him off his entire day, just a nagging pain in the back of his head like an endless tapping with a sharp spike on the back of his skull. The first thing he did was make a cup of tea to try and rid himself of the headache, and while he was waiting for the kettle to go off he watched the sun rise. It was supposed to be a lovely day. Perhaps a stroll through St. James Park would be exactly what he’d need to get the headache to pass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And if Crowley was up to it, they could go together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale took his cup, the one Crowley gifted him, which seemed to be the only cup he used lately, and headed downstairs. It was hard to believe that he and Crowley had only known each other for three months. The friendship that had developed was so enjoyable, it felt like they had known each other forever. He unlocked the front door, flipped the sign to ‘open’, and started to stock some of the books back onto their proper places on the shelves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley always found a way to crawl back into Aziraphale’s thoughts. It would usually happen by accident, Aziraphale would see a particularly beautiful plant or stumble upon a book that he knew Crowley would just love or hate, since he tended to have more opinions on things that fell into the latter category. As he was restocking the shelves, his mind filtered through some of the more enjoyable moments and seemed to focus on one in particular. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few weeks back, Aziraphale had gone over to the flower shop late one early evening. Crowley had been in the middle of closing up as well, he had Eve around his neck trying to tangle herself in his red hair while he was busy putting everything away. Aziraphale had yet to work up the courage to hold the reptile, but he was more comfortable around her and would reach out and pet her every so often. Her tail drifted down Crowley’s chest, almost as if she was forgetting her last two feet of body existed. When Crowley moved a bit too quickly, she nearly tumbled off his shoulders. She tightened her grip on his neck to keep herself from falling as well as curling her tail to grip something. That something turned out to be the bottom of Crowley’s shirt, which hooked and lifted, revealing a small patch of skin. Instantly Aziraphale’s eyes were drawn to it and he stared until he realised what he was doing, at which point he stammered out some type of excuse and scurried back to the safety of his shop, feeling his heart beat a mile a minute. Normally Aziraphale could keep a better composure, but something about Crowley kept having a strange effect on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt terrible about it for days. He knew Crowley saw him as just a friend, nothing could ever come out of this. No matter what thoughts Aziraphale might have. What they had, the friendship that connected them, was something too precious for Aziraphale to risk just because he fantasized about pulling Crowley close and kissing him. It was unfair to Crowley to be the object of these fantasies, but Aziraphale still allowed his mind to drift through those impossible ‘what-ifs’.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t until he heard the door open that Aziraphale realised he was just holding onto the books without actually doing any work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up to greet the new customer, but the words died on his tongue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I did find the right place.” Gabriel broke the silence first. Aziraphale snapped out of his trance, his expression hard on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you find me?” Aziraphale spoke in a mixture of both anger and bewilderment. He was surprised that Gabriel would dare to show his face in Aziraphale's own shop after all this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Aziraphale.” Gabriel said as if Aziraphale had never spoken. “The name was pretty obvious.” He started to walk around and look at the different shelves of books before he stopped in front of Aziraphale and smiled. “I like the shop, it suits you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Aziraphale’s tone softened a bit. He was upset, but he could never be upset with Gabriel for long. “I thought you were off in America taking over a business.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckled. “Yes, I still am. But they needed someone to oversee a few meetings over here and I volunteered.” He looked down at his feet for a moment in an almost shy fashion, which was very un-Gabriel like. “Truthfully, I was hoping to use it as an excuse to come see you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Aziraphale eyed him suspiciously. After all, Gabriel was the one to end it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was hoping to catch up with you.” Gabriel looked back up with that familiar charming smile, the one that always made Aziraphale’s heart flutter. “Maybe we can go to dinner tonight?” When Aziraphale opened his mouth to protest, Gabriel put his hands up before he could respond. “One dinner, that's all I ask. After that, if you don’t want to see me again you don’t have to.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale chewed his lip. One dinner wasn’t all that much to ask for, and perhaps it would be good to catch up with the only person that had truly been his friend in college. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Gabriel said. That sealed the final nail in the coffin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Against all better judgement, Aziraphale agreed to dinner. Gabriel was over the moon, which made Aziraphale’s heart melt just a bit. They’d  meet for dinner at six, after which Gabriel would have to leave to meet with some important person. He did look back once before exiting the shop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale closed up just an hour early in order to get ready for dinner. He tore through his closet trying to find something that would be appropriate to wear, even though he kept reminding himself it wasn’t a date; if he wanted to show up in khakis and a jumper, he could. He knew that wouldn’t happen though. Knowing Gabriel, he would probably pick a very nice restaurant, so Aziraphale figured he should probably get somewhat dressed up. He picked a simple vest and trousers to wear for the evening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was in the middle of straightening his bowtie for the third time when he heard a knocking downstairs. He was slightly puzzled since he made sure to turn down any offers for a ride, he wanted to show Gabriel he was doing fine on his own. A second, slightly louder, knock tore his focus back to his situation and he hurried downstairs to open the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley stood in the doorway, looking a little taken aback by Aziraphale’s appearance, but ultimately he just gave Aziraphale a once-over in a very exaggerated fashion and whistled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I knew you were getting fancy, I would have changed as well.” He flashed a cocky grin. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, but smiled just enough to let it be known he didn’t actually mind the comment. “I thought I’d pop by and see if you fancied going out for a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love to Crowley, but I can’t tonight.” Aziraphale could see the disappointment flitting across Crowley’s face, even if his eyes were covered by those damned sunglasses he never took off. “An old, um, friend stopped by earlier. We are going to dinner to catch up tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale wasn’t sure why he was adamant about calling Gabriel just a friend. Part of him really didn’t want Crowley to know who he was actually meeting. Probably because then he would have to admit about why this dinner was making his stomach flip in worried knots. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, well, have fun, then.” Crowley forced a smile and waved like it was no big deal. Aziraphale had known him long enough to tell when he was trying to pretend like everything was okay. He wanted to reach out and comfort him, but he wasn’t sure if their level of friendship warranted that kind of physical content, so he didn’t. “Perhaps tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched Crowley get into his Bentley and drive off, and part of him wished he would have canceled on Gabriel and spent time with Crowley instead but he had already made the decision, so he needed to see it through. He finished getting ready and headed out toward the restaurant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel was already waiting for him at the table. He was dressed in a perfectly fitted business suit, the colour of his tie matching the colour of his eyes. He stood as soon as he caught sight of Aziraphale and motioned for him to sit down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look great.” Gabriel poured him a glass of wine while Aziraphale sat down and made himself comfortable. He noted that the wine had been on the table, uncorked, when he arrived. “I mean, you look like you’re doing really well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Aziraphale said and took a sip of the wine. The taste was light with just a hint of some type of fruit that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He also realised it was probably expensive, much like everything in and around Gabriel’s life-- except Aziraphale. “Business has been really good at the shop. How about you? What has it been like as a high profile businessman?” He tried to keep the conversation on safe topics. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not as glamorous as you think.” Gabriel chuckled. “You would not believe the amount of meetings I have to sit through.” Aziraphale actually smiled and laughed politely at that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Although there are some benefits,” Gabriel continued even though Aziraphale was eyeing the menu and itching to order. “I get to meet all sorts of people around the world. Actually, just last week I got to meet…” He trailed off and snapped his fingers trying to remember something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I forget her name but she just released that song that’s popular right now.” He waved his hand dismissively. This piece of trivia was something that Aziraphale would never have known, but he nodded anyway to appease Gabriel. “That was really cool. Although she was a bit stuck up, she kept droning on about this charity work she was involved with, it got old pretty fast.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That all sounds very exciting.” Aziraphale wasn’t sure exactly how to respond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They ordered their meals and the conversation stayed light-hearted. Aziraphale was starting to remember what it was like to have Gabriel as a friend, he remembered how much he enjoyed the company and how easy the conversation was between them. All the memories of how the relationship got towards the end seemed to evaporate briefly from his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale was a little surprised that Gabriel ordered dessert at the end of the meal. Usually, Aziraphale would be the only one who would partake in sweets, Gabriel tended to lecture him about how unhealthy it was. Once dessert was finished and cleared, Gabriel poured another round of drinks which killed off the bottle. The conversation took a complicated turn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was great catching up with you tonight, Aziraphale.” Gabriel sipped at his drink as he spoke. “This is the one thing I miss.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Aziraphale took another sip from his glass. He could feel the alcohol taking over his head just a touch. “Having dinner with friends?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You.” Gabriel placed his glass down and looked at the tablecloth. Aziraphale didn’t know how to respond. “I know I messed up… badly. I know I don’t have any right to ask for your forgiveness, so I won’t. But I was hoping we could give it another go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to respond. Four years was a long time to throw away, which was exactly what Gabriel did when he walked out. Part of Aziraphale’s head yelled at him to walk away now and let him suffer. Another part jumped at the chance and urged him to agree. They could make it work this time. Gabriel just needed some space to see how much he truly needed Aziraphale, it would all work out perfectly this time. The two sides battled over Aziraphale’s brain, leaving him without a response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel shook his head. “What am I saying? We can’t.” Aziraphale was a little taken back. “I don’t even live here, I can’t do that to you.” The two just stared at each other for a few moments, before Gabriel sighed. “I know you said you were opposed before, but maybe you can reconsider something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” Aziraphale spoke softly. Somehow he knew what Gabriel was going to ask. He just didn’t know how he was going to answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am here only for tonight. I have to leave for Glasgow in the morning, but I have a room upstairs.” He swallowed nervously. “Maybe you would want to join me, just this once, just for tonight.” He reached out and placed his hand on top of Aziraphale’s. At least he did have the decency to not look him in the eye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Gabriel.” Aziraphale seemed to find his confidence again. “You were the one who wanted to end this, not me. I was fine with rekindling our friendship, but this is too much.” He started to pull away his hand, but Gabriel gave him a reassuring squeeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed and rubbed his thumb across the back of Aziraphale’s hand. “I know its a lot to ask. Perhaps it can be for old times’ sake, or closure, or whatever. I just know I would regret missing my last chance with you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale didn’t know what to say. The words ‘last chance’ echoed in his mind. He thought for a few moments before making his decision. Maybe he needed closure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He finished his glass of wine in one drink and agreed to the offer. Gabriel called for the waiter and took care of the cheque. He grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and led him to the lift where he pushed the button for his floor and waited. The tension started to build between them as they made eye contact and when the doors opened, Gabriel couldn’t hold back anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He crowded Aziraphale into the wall in the back of the lift and attacked his lips. Within moments the doors opened back up to the correct floor and Aziraphale wasn’t even sure how they managed to find the correct door since they both were preoccupied with other matters. The door gave way and they stumbled in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale started to remember why he fell for Gabriel in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale woke up to the distinct pressure of lips on the back of his neck and a body pressed close behind him. He smiled and rolled over to face Gabriel. It took a few minutes for them to detach from each other, neither wanting to return back to the real world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel was the one to break the spell. “I'm sorry, sunshine. I've got to leave soon.” He kissed Aziraphale one last time before getting out of bed and getting dressed. The other followed the lead and got dressed in the clothes from the night before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The taxi pulled up just as the two finished leaving the hotel. Gabriel took the chance and pressed himself against Aziraphale, kissing with enough passion that left both feeling breathless. Aziraphale felt a little self-conscious since they were out in public.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Last night was incredible.” Gabriel rested his forehead against Aziraphale’s own. “I'm sorry I can't stay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's understandable,” Aziraphale responded quietly. “It would have been nice to have more time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe. If I come back, I can try and get more time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With one last kiss, he climbed into the car and left. Aziraphale thought about those words. If Gabriel did come back he would have to make sure to not repeat the previous night again. It was supposed to be the last time and Aziraphale would make sure it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was slowly rising over the buildings as Aziraphale made his way back to his bookshop. His spirits were high as he walked with almost no one out this early. Unfortunately, that feeling quickly evaporated when he saw Crowley pull up to his flower shop. He got out of the car and did a double take. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out this early.” Crowley crossed the street to Aziraphale’s side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, dear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” Crowley drew out the word. He looked Aziraphale up and down. “How was your dinner with your um… friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was fine,” Aziraphale responded and unlocked his shop door. “I ended up having a really good time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can see that.” Crowley remarked off-handedly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” He stopped and looked at Crowley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, I’ve seen my fair share of walks of shame to be able to recognize it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I fail to see how this is any of your business.” Aziraphale snapped. “And I would appreciate it if you would keep your comments to yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley raised his hands in surrender. “You’re pretty testy for someone who just got laid last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should not be making assumptions about my personal life.” Aziraphale opened the door roughly. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get my shop ready for the day.” He walked into the shop allowing the door to slam shut and leaving Crowley on the street.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First thing Aziraphale did was take a shower. He could still smell the lingering scent of Gabriel’s cologne as it washed away. Afterwards he got dressed for the day and opened his shop as per usual. He did spare a glance towards the flower shop across the street and his stomach twisted. He had no right to talk to Crowley the way he did earlier. He didn’t know why that comment got under his skin, it just did. Maybe he was hoping that no one would ever find out about him and Gabriel. If no one saw him this morning he could have pretended that his life before the shop was completely separated from his current life. But the one person he didn’t want to find out about that, was the one person who caught him red-handed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale made a point not to visit Crowley for the rest of the week. He was a little disappointed that the other didn’t try either.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Purple variegated carnations symbolizes regret that a love cannot be shared</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hydrangea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aziraphale paced the backroom of his bookshop. He wanted to pay a visit to the flower shop, but his nerves were getting the best of him. He knew that he was in the wrong, and may have effectively killed off any friendship he had had with Crowley with that outburst. He took a deep breath and forced his feet to move until he ended up in front of the flower shop before his brain could catch up. The 'open' sign on the wooden door seemed to mock him, but before he completely lost his nerves, he stepped inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell rang overhead and echoed in the empty shop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything looked just as it did before which was an oddly comforting thought. There was a muffled sound that drifted from the back and Aziraphale figured that it was probably where Crowley would be. There was no sign indicating that the back room was forbidden to anyone outside of personnel, so he made his way there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley was sitting in a chair by his work table. Eve was curled down his arm, her face resting in his palm which was held at eye level. “I don’t care what you say, Eve. I’m not going over there.” The snake just flicked her tongue out in response. “Sometimes, I don’t care for your attitude.” He said flatly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale cleared his throat, causing Crowley to jump up with all four feet of snake still attached to his arm, and looked over. A flush spread over his cheeks. Aziraphale smiled sweetly; the way he interacted with his pet was truly adorable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you tell anyone about this,” Crowley held up an accusatory finger, “they will never find your body.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, dear.” Aziraphale chuckled fondly. If Crowley was joking with him then surely their friendship wasn’t completely lost. Crowley eyed him suspiciously, but eventually nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked over to the tank and placed Eve back. She clearly didn’t want to return to the glass prison and made every attempt to get out. It took a few tries before Crowley was able to secure the tank without a head or tail sticking out. She just stretched up the side of the glass until gravity made her fall over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Crowley didn’t sound upset or angry, but he didn’t sound too thrilled either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to apologize for my outburst last week.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S’fine.” He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not fine.” Aziraphale felt ashamed. “You were just being friendly and my behavior was completely unacceptable. As an apology, I was hoping you would want to come over. I have a few bottles of red wine imported from California that should be wonderful. ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Aziraphale managed to glance up, Crowley just waved his hand in dismissal with a smirk. “Water under the bridge. I’ll be over in about an hour or so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With an extra pep in his step, Aziraphale left the shop and headed back to his own to finish the necessary closing time routine. Crowley showed up with a box of pastries from the bakery which didn’t exactly pair with the wine, but Aziraphale was grateful nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked and drank for several hours without pause. It wasn’t until somewhere close to midnight when the conversation died down a bit. Aziraphale sipped at his wine and looked over at Crowley who actually removed his sunglasses and pocketed them. Crowley’s eyes were absolutely stunning and Aziraphale couldn’t understand why he would want to hide them. They were a light honey color and in the dim light of the backroom they shone almost golden. He could honestly stare at them for hours but instead he looked down at his glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Crowley drawled. He hadn’t had as many glasses as Aziraphale because he would have to drive home later, but he still had a slight slur to his words. “You going to talk about it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale knew what he wanted to know. The subject would have to come up sooner or later. “Alright.” He set the wine glass down, but didn’t make eye contact with Crowley. “Gabriel wasn’t just a friend. We used to date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley whistled. “Sleeping with an ex isn’t usually a good idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, that was not a wise choice.” He sighed and finally looked up at Crowley. He was very happy to not see any judgemental expressions on Crowley's face. “We were together for so long, it was hard when it ended. After graduation, he went back home to America and I stayed here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley didn’t say anything. He just nodded and sipped more wine. “So, was he the one who got away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale contemplated the question. He wasn’t sure what the answer was. He assumed that Gabriel would be  the one he ended up with, but was that just because he was in love or was it because he was too afraid to find someone else? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. We had a very complicated relationship, sometimes it was very difficult to be with him, but other times I never wanted our relationship to end.” He stared at his glass on the small end table feeling dejected with his thoughts centered around Gabriel. A few memories came to mind of the happy times. “When he showed up here, I couldn’t help but think about those feelings and I caved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley just hummed. “Sounds healthy.” Aziraphale almost snapped at him again, but bit back his comment. He knew that Crowley didn’t really mean anything by it and that the relationship with Gabriel wasn’t perfect in the least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale had been happy, or at least he might have been at first. Gabriel was the first serious relationship he had and he worried about doing something wrong and messing it up. Ultimately, this ended up just causing more pain for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s really cute,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gabriel had said when Aziraphale confessed he was still a virgin</span>
  <em>
    <span>. “I’ll just cook us dinner, and we’ll see where it takes us.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>More than anything Aziraphale had wanted to say no, had wanted to say he wasn’t quite ready, but he had been too scared to voice those concerns. There were too many emotions swirling about in his head and he couldn’t form any cohesive thoughts. He had hated himself for a long time after that; for being such a coward, for not working up the courage to leave, but most of all he hated how he still felt the need to be around Gabriel after that. Even now, even after so many years he still felt traces of that self-hatred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale picked up his glass again, he wasn’t quite ready to tell Crowley all the details of his past relationship. Perhaps one day he would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” Aziraphale decided to take the focus off him, he may not be ready to talk about himself, but he had to admit he was curious about Crowley. The man was a closed book that Aziraphale was itching to read. “Any past flames coming around your shop?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was very careful about the words he used. Aziraphale realised that he unintentionally outed himself to Crowley with the conversation. Before he mentioned a name, Crowley would have had no idea about the gender of his friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that Aziraphale was trying to hide who he was, quite the opposite actually. He had been rather young when he had realised his sexual preferences and never bothered to try and pretend to be anything else. Most people didn’t seem surprised when he started to take interest in boys rather than girls, but some were not very kind to him about it. Some of the bigger boys, usually equipped with way too much bravado and chauvinistic ideas, would tease and bully him after he ventured to ask another boy in class to a dance. He ended up with a few bruises, bent glasses, and a sinking feeling that he would never get the chance to attend any of the school dances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t exactly sure what Crowley’s preferences were, but something told him he couldn’t be entirely heterosexual. Yet he didn’t want to make any assumptions. Aziraphale pretended not to watch Crowley’s reaction, but out of the corner of his eye he could see a raised eyebrow on Crowley. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, afraid not.” Crowley took a long drink of his wine. Aziraphale wanted to coax more out of him, but didn’t want to push. “Someone’s got to stick around for more than a night to be considered an ex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh dear, I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Crowley said dismissively. “People are so shallow, it's really annoying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Aziraphale tilted his head slightly in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“People only ever talk to me because they like the way I look.” He finished his wine and set the glass down. “They don’t ever bother to try and get to know me, it’s insulting. Women think that because of the way I dress I’m some brooding, dark, character they can fix, but after the night they realise I actually have my shit together so they leave. Men are worse though, they assume because my clothes are a bit tight I’m just there for a quick lay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my dear. That’s a terrible thing to assume.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well.” He shrugged. “No one gets it, y’know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I understand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me, things take a while. Sure, I could find someone attractive pretty quickly but for me to really fall for them, I need time to get to know them better. Most people aren’t that patient so they leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It broke Aziraphale’s heart to hear how people treat Crowley. He was just an interesting person with a kind heart, even if he didn’t want to admit it. He remembered the way Crowley acted when Eve had been sick, and how forgiving he had been towards Aziraphale when the latter didn’t really deserve it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley rubbed a hand over his face. “It doesn’t matter, I got my plants and Eve to keep me company. People just get in the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale reached over and placed his hand on Crowley’s knee. “I hope that I can be company from time to time.” He smiled warmly, and could see it returned in equal measure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anytime.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hydrangea symbolizes gratitude for being understood</p><p>I know, first chapter without artwork :( But there will be more soon enough.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Forget-me-not</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>During the following few months, Crowley became more of a permanent staple in his bookshop. Most nights they’d go out to have dinner or at the cinema, or even just spend time in the shop trying a variety of wines they would each pick thinking the other would like it. Aziraphale was settling into his new life and for the first time actually felt happy about it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But of course it didn’t last long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel showed up again. Aziraphale stood his ground, but Gabriel knew him all too well. Just a little bit of charm and Aziraphale couldn’t help but agree to dinner. All it took was a soft touch against his cheek and a few pleasant words whispered in his ear, and Aziraphale was like putty in his arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next morning, Aziraphale was back at his bookshop before the crack of dawn. Once again, Gabriel had to leave early. Regret caused his stomach to turn into knots. He was just happy that this time Crowley didn’t catch him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later that day, when Crowley came over, Aziraphale broke down right away and told him what had happened. He wasn’t sure why he felt like he was betraying Crowley, they were just friends, but the feeling remained. Crowley just offered a smile and to take him out to get a bite to eat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This happened twice more before Aziraphale started to feel like his life was just repeating itself. Gabriel would show up, take Aziraphale to a nice dinner, then convince him to stay the night. Only for one night though. It was always just one night. He hated himself for it. He wasn’t made for this type of relationship, he had always been adamant about avoiding one night stands, but at this point, that was exactly what he was doing.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was grateful for Crowley, though. He usually ended up at his friend’s shop filling him in on everything, and even though he always expected the worst, it never happened. He thought that Crowley would one day get tired of Aziraphale’s back and forth with Gabriel and would no longer care. After all, this kind of self-destructive behaviour must be tiring from an outside perspective.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Crowley was always ready to listen, sometimes he gave Aziraphale a word of advice, and would usually end up taking him out somewhere to get his mind off the problem.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley was always there to pick up the pieces, and Aziraphale began seeing a different side of this friendship. He never had someone who, Aziraphale was certain, wanted him around. It was almost enough to make him forget how ashamed of himself he was. Almost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One morning, a large bouquet was shoved into Aziraphale’s face when he opened up the bookshop. He looked questioningly at the beautiful arrangement of white roses, forget-me-nots, and ferns. Crowley was on the other side with a large smile. Half of his red hair was pulled up into a bun again. Aziraphale wouldn’t say it out loud but he liked it when Crowley styled his hair that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Congratulations, angel!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley had started calling him that at some point. Honestly, Aziraphale couldn’t remember exactly when it happened, but he did remember a drunken conversation between them when Crowley had said that when he smiled it looked as if he was an angel. He rambled on and on about how his entire face lit up as if he had a halo hanging above his head. When Aziraphale shot him a confused look, Crowley said he looked a bit holier-than-thou and could probably smite him. This thought was absolutely ridiculous and Aziraphale couldn’t stop the uncontrollable laughter that erupted out of him. Crowley avoided him for a few days after that, but eventually returned and the nickname stuck around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been a year since you opened the shop,” Crowley said, “and I wanted to celebrate with you. How about we go to that new restaurant down the street tonight? My treat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s smile was so wide his cheeks hurt. He thanked his friend and invited him into the shop. He didn’t even realize that it had been a year since </span>
  <em>
    <span>A.Z. Fell Books</span>
  </em>
  <span> opened and was touched that it was Crowley who remembered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you so much, my dear. That sounds lovely!” He reached out for the flowers, but Crowley retracted them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you have something passable for a vase to put these in.” He was already walking towards the stairs that lead up to the flat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Under the sink.” Aziraphale said offhandedly and finished opening the store. Crowley spent so many hours there that he treated it as his own home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The jingle of the bell pulled Aziraphale’s attention to the front of the shop. His heart seemed to drop when he saw Gabriel standing in the doorway. In the year that his shop had been open, Gabriel had visited a total of six times. The first few times were actually very pleasant; but then the dinners started to feel more like a formality. Gabriel would talk most of the dinner— actually it sounded like talking on the outside, but Aziraphale felt like it was more bragging than anything. Gabriel lived an exciting life and by contrast Aziraphale would feel self conscious about his own. The night would always end the same as well, Aziraphale would be convinced to go with him to his hotel room and would have to clear out early in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Gabriel,” Aziraphale said flatly. It had been a while since he felt that flutter in his stomach around this man. “You look well.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale, it’s been a while.” He pointed at Aziraphale. “Have you gained weight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked down at himself and felt slightly ashamed. He didn’t really pay attention to his weight, and while he and Crowley would get dinner and dessert most nights, he hadn’t thought it was enough to be noticeable. Crowley had never mentioned anything about Aziraphale gaining weight, and surely he would have been the first to notice. Actually, the only times Crowley had ever made a comment on his appearance was one of the few times Aziraphale indulged in something new which had been a new version of his usual bowtie. He barely greeted Crowley before he was complimented on the new accessory which, to be honest, looked exactly like all his other bowties, perhaps the colours were a bit more vivid than the others he had, but it wasn't too noticeable. He still didn’t know how Crowley picked up on it so fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walked over to the counter, which was cluttered high with books, and stood behind it to put some type of barrier between himself and Gabriel to ensure that this time wouldn’t be a repeat of all the previous ones. And hopefully Gabriel would take the hint. He didn’t. Gabriel walked over to the other side to face Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel leaned forward on the counter and smiled, and, just like every time they met in the past year, it didn’t reach his eyes. “I was in town again and was hoping we could go out to dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale shook his head. “Gabriel, we can’t keep doing this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel reached out and placed his hand over Aziraphale’s, squeezing slightly. “I don’t see why not. You never complained before, as a matter of fact you always seemed to be a bit weak in the knees afterwards.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Aziraphale gave an exasperated sigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew what Gabriel was doing, trying to keep the conversation about them. Well, more like what Aziraphale could do for Gabriel rather than having an honest conversation about this relationship. If it could even be called that. It annoyed him more than anything that Gabriel didn’t seem to care about his feelings, but this was always the pattern for Gabriel so he couldn’t get mad when he already knew this was going to happen. Aziraphale was upset at himself for allowing himself to fall back into this pattern with Gabriel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m talking about us. You can’t just keep coming here and stringing me along, promising each time that it will be the last.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel turned Aziraphale’s hand palm up while his thumb gently caressed the other’s pulse point. He looked up and Gabriel’s brilliant eyes brought back all sorts of feelings Aziraphale had forgotten about. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I feel terrible about it sunshine.” He gently trailed his hands up Aziraphale’s arm. “After I see you, I always promise I would let you move on with your life, then I go home and look at the pictures of us together and I miss it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel…” Aziraphale spoke softly. He wanted to tell him to stop, he wanted to continue to protest, but it was a half hearted thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel leaned in close, allowing his lips to brush against Aziraphale’s. “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. Even if it's just for a night every couple of months.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s brain couldn’t quite form a response. He wanted to tell Gabriel off, but he knew that would never happen. Gabriel took his hand off Aziraphale’s arm and used a finger to trace over his jaw causing a shiver to run down his spine. He wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss Gabriel, but instead he leaned back and swallowed nervously. Which was when he noticed a slight movement out of the corner of his eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale turned his head to see Crowley standing on the steps that separated the flat from the bookshop. He clutched the vase, overflowing with flowers, and wore a dangerous expression on his face. For reasons unknown to himself, Aziraphale stepped back from Gabriel. Crowley came up and placed the vase on the counter a little more harshly than necessary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” Crowley spoke with an air of nonchalance, but Aziraphale could tell he was eyeing Gabriel behind his sunglasses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you had company.” Gabriel cocked an eyebrow and turned to look at the newcomer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, all the time.” Crowley smiled wickedly. “And you are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With an icy expression Gabriel reached his hand out to shake. “Gabriel. I’m an old friend of Aziraphale.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley grabbed his hand and shook harshly. “Hmm, he’s never mentioned you before,” he lied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel narrowed his eyes and dropped his hand. “And you would be?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley. I’m a </span>
  <em>
    <span>current</span>
  </em>
  <span> friend of Aziraphale’s.” The two men continued to glare at each other. “So, old friend Gabe. What brings you ‘round here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m in town on business.” Gabriel looked disdainfully at the other man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley was very good at feigning interest. “In town on business a lot?” Gabriel rolled his eyes, he had an irritated expression on his face. “You must be really important if you can travel the world at a moment's notice. I mean, not even enough time to phone your dear friend Aziraphale to let him know you’ll be around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my, gentlemen-” Aziraphale tried to speak, but was cut off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel spoke almost as if he couldn’t hear Aziraphale. “Not that it concerns you, but yes I am.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds lonely,” Crowley mused. “Travel all over the world, but you have to leave Aziraphale behind… with me.” He looked Gabriel up and down and plastered a fake smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Gabriel had a chance to respond to that comment. Aziraphale grabbed him by the elbow and walked him closer to the door. He needed to separate the two before things escalated. “Gabriel, thank you for stopping by, but I think it would be best if you leave right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Why? I didn’t do-” Aziraphale threw him the sternest look he could muster and even though Gabriel just rolled his eyes he didn’t push for more. “I did stop by for a reason, I have some very good news. We can discuss it over dinner tonight.” He leaned in and planted a kiss on Aziraphale’s cheek. “I’ll see you tonight, sunshine.” Just before he stepped out, he turned back to Crowley. “It was nice meeting you, Crowley. And Aziraphale, I’ll send a car to pick you up for dinner tonight… with me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although he smiled at Crowley, his eyes looked as if they were trying to smite him on the spot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No sooner did the door shut behind him, that Aziraphale turned on his heels and glared at Crowley with the same look he had given Gabriel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley, that was unacceptable.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Me?” Crowley snapped. “He was the one being-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter.” Aziraphale tried to keep his voice calm, but it came out as more scolding than was intended. “You shouldn’t have engaged him like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And why not?” Crowley just crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. “He was being a complete and utter tool. And I thought after everything you said about him-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you thought wrong!” Crowley stepped back in confusion. “I don’t know what to tell you Crowley, I don’t know what to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll tell you what to do, tell him to shove the dinner invite right up-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley!” Aziraphale couldn't help but be scandalised, even if Crowley didn't finish the comment. “I can’t cancel on him.” Aziraphale sighed as he remembered what happened the only time he had ever canceled on Gabriel before. He twisted the ring on his finger in worry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It happened almost a year into their relationship, Gabriel kept canceling on him for various reasons. Aziraphale felt like they were starting to drift further and further apart, he made his own set of friends since he was obviously not a priority to Gabriel anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that all ended poorly when Gabriel found out.  He threatened and insulted Aziraphale, even going so far as to accuse him of infidelity, until Aziraphale felt guilty about everything he had done. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The funny thing was, Aziraphale had been the one who ended up apologising. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what I’ll do.” Aziraphale pulled himself out of his thoughts. “Tonight at dinner, I will simply explain to Gabriel that this has to end.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every time Gabriel had appeared over the last few months, Aziraphale had always been able to justify what had happened. It had always been one last time, but now it looked as if the concept of a last time didn’t exist, at least on Gabriel’s end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really think that would work, angel?” Crowley asked with reluctance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” Aziraphale sounded so sure of himself. “We are adults, we can behave as such.” Crowley rolled his eyes and set a scowl on his face. “Why? You don’t?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I think you’ll cave in and end up in his bed again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale gasped, as if Crowley had shared a truly scandalous piece of gossip and not just his opinion, and glared at the other. “And why should you be concerned in whose bed I end up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t.” He snapped all too quickly.  “Obviously I don’t.” He sprang forward from the counter and headed towards the door. “See, this is me not caring. Let me know in the morning how much this plan apparently worked.” He walked out of the shop with his hands buried in his pockets and a scowl across his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the day was just dreadful. He couldn’t concentrate on anything that needed to be done around the shop. His stomach twisted every time his mind flashed back to the conversation from earlier. What hurt the most, however, was looking over at Crowley’s shop and seeing the lights off and the Bently missing from its usual spot. Aziraphale felt ashamed, he should have done something more to prevent what happened that morning. Perhaps if he had just agreed to Gabriel sooner, then the other man would have been gone before Crowley came down the stairs. They never would have met and Aziraphale could still pretend that those two parts of his life were separate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He whined and placed his head on the counter. All this was his fault, it had to be. He should have been more firm in his resolve and interrupted the conversation before it devolved into the mess it had. He should have spoken up and picked a side. The question was, who? He could have easily told Crowley to stop antagonizing Gabriel. But part of him knew that Crowley wasn’t entirely in the wrong either. After every visit from Gabriel, Crowley would be there to offer him comfort and would listen while he vented his issues. Crowley was privy to more information about that relationship than Aziraphale realised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing that he was in no mood to continue business for the day, Aziraphale closed up and made his way upstairs to crawl into bed. It was an early afternoon, but he didn’t have the energy to try and get through a full day of work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clutching a pillow to his chest and staring at the ceiling, Aziraphale began to grow frustrated with being so placid this morning. But it didn’t matter, Crowley was surely going to be upset with him for a while. He reminded himself, again, that Crowley was just a friend. He enjoyed his company more than anything, but it was just friendship. On the other hand, Gabriel at least held a small promise of love. Even if it was just physical, and just for a night. There was also the very small flame of hope Aziraphale carried that one day Gabriel would realise how much he wanted to make the relationship work and would welcome Aziraphale back with open arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held onto that tiny bit of hope as he drifted off to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Forget-me-nots symbolizes true and undying love, Fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation or other challenges as well as reminders of your favorite memories or time together with another person.</p>
<p>Alright, so my posting deadline is tomorrow by midnight so I'm going to be editing the chapters then posting before then so I hope you all are ready to get the rest of this story in just about 24 hours.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Daffodil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After a few hours, Aziraphale stood from his quasi-nap-mostly-thinking state and started to get ready. This was the first time that Gabriel was actually sending a car to pick him up. He smiled at the thought that it showed how much he cared, but he knew it was only because Crowley had been there that morning and Gabriel did like to show off. He quickly dressed in a new pair of tan trousers, a nice button up, argyle sweater vest, and a bow tie of a completely different argyle pattern, all of which had been presents from Gabriel. Aziraphale adjusted his vest with a smirk, this was the one item that he chose for himself and one of the only reasons he picked something not in his usual fashion sense was because Gabriel droned on and on about how hideous the color was and how no one in their right mind would ever wear something like it. Naturally, Aziraphale selected that vest just to spite Gabriel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Aziraphale knew Gabriel well enough by now-- and he did-- Gabriel would make a comment about how much he hated that vest the moment dinner started.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At half past six, a taxi pulled up to his bookshop and Aziraphale got in. The drive to the restaurant wasn’t terribly long, but Aziraphale couldn’t steady his heartbeat. He wasn’t sure why, he’d had a plan, but doubt started to set itself into his mind. He should have chosen to go to dinner with Crowley instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car pulled up and Aziraphale got out without paying because the fare had been already taken care of. He walked in and saw Gabriel sitting at a table. He was talking with the wine sommelier as Aziraphale approached the table. Gabriel just nodded to the server before he stood up, came around and pulled the chair for Aziraphale. It was an unusually courteous gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dinner was served and Aziraphale started to feel a little more comfortable. He fell back on old patterns with Gabriel, which always brought up those old feelings he thought were gone. He could almost remember what it was like sitting in that coffee shop in the library, the late nights in Gabriel’s flat, and the times Gabriel acted like such a chivalrous gentleman. He looked back over at the Gabriel that sat in front of him. He looked so much older and wiser, but honestly he didn’t seem to be that different from their university days. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel still dressed and acted like something out of a Hollywood movie. He was quick to impress and knew the perfect ways to smile and charm anyone. But when they were alone, Aziraphale could see how much of his personality was a facade. Gabriel was his usual oppressive self. Just like before, he would make small comments that dug under Aziraphale’s skin, usually remarking on something about his appearance. His demands resumed as if they never broke up. And he still tried to control every aspect of Aziraphae’s life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After dinner the server came around and poured two glasses of champagne. Aziraphale looked a little suspiciously at the drink choice. He was starting to think that Gabriel really did have some news to celebrate instead of just trying to ruffle Crowley’s feathers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, the news I was talking about earlier.” Gabriel had a large smile on his face, this was a genuine one which made soft little crows feet in the corner of his eyes. Aziraphale couldn’t help but return it in equal measure. “I found out that my father is looking to retire in the next year or so as CEO. He is going to start my training to take over after him.” He lifted his glass and clicked it softly against Aziraphale’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel, that is wonderful news! I am so happy for you!” He took a small sip of the drink, the bubbles tickling his tongue slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy for us, you mean.” Gabriel nearly polished off his glass in one go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale knitted his eyebrows in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel reached across the table and placed his hands over Aziraphale. “Remember what I said before graduation? When I am the head of my company we can see about revisiting us.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory came back to Aziraphale with all too much clarity. It had been just a few weeks before graduation from university when they had had that conversation. Aziraphale had been offered an apprenticeship with a book binder when he finished his studies. He had thought that with the experience he had in that field coupled with his degree, he would have been fully prepared to open his own shop in no time at all. He had waited on accepting the job though, because he also had plans made with Gabriel, so he hesitated jumping into it head first. After all, four years was a long time to date someone and not expect a future together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Gabriel arrived, he was so overjoyed to share the news that he was going to start working at his family's company immediately after graduation. This meant he was going to move back to America as soon as his classes were finished. That meant leaving Aziraphale behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel tried to frame it as if he was doing Aziraphale a favor, not forcing him to uproot his entire life and move across the world. But he knew it was a lie. If Gabriel asked, he would have moved without question. He had given so much to Gabriel in those past four years, and yet he was being discarded as if it never mattered. He felt like he was being abandoned and now he was faced with the daunting thought that he would have to deal with his future completely alone and forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first thing Aziraphale did when Gabriel left was open a bottle of wine. The second thing he did was call and accept the apprenticeship. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’ll be soon,” Gabriel’s voice snapped Aziraphale out of his memories. “I was hoping to bring you over when I finally have the job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale didn’t know how to respond. He just assumed that was something Gabriel said to be polite or to make the breakup hurt less. So he just continued to stare blankly which prompted Gabriel to continue talking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you will like New York.” Gabriel finished off the last of his champagne. “We can have all your books shipped over. If you want to open a store there, you can. There is a Soho in Manhattan that you’d just love. We can look at shops there if you like.” Aziraphale could not process words at that point. It was all too much, too real. “Or if I’m being honest, you don’t need to work. I make enough money for both of us. We can find a nice place, you can have your own library. Think about it, you can cook all the fancy meals you want and just read all day. I’ll take you with me on all my travels too. Doesn’t that sound nice?” He raised Aziraphale’s left hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale didn’t want to say how nice it sounded, not having to sell any of his books but being able to enjoy them. He would accompany Gabriel all over the world, be able to see all the amazing sights, go to new restaurants, and just be happy. His mind brought up an image of Crowley and it was like an ice bucket was dumped over his head. His stomach twisted and his veins felt cold. Why did it feel like he was betraying his friend? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, you don’t have to give me an answer right now.” Gabriel continued before the other could say anything. “This won’t be for another couple of months, so just think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale nodded and polished off the rest of his champagne, he grabbed the leftover glass of wine from dinner and finished it as well. Gabriel chuckled and gestured for them to leave. He was still reeling from the conversation and realised that he had forgotten his entire plan for the night. It seemed that Crowley had been right after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel led Aziraphale up to his room, pausing to kiss him deeply against the door while he fumbled for the room key. The door burst open causing Aziraphale to stumble back unexpectedly. Gabriel led him backwards to the bed, he untied the bow tie immediately and threw it on the ground, before he attached himself to Aziraphale’s neck while he worked on undoing the buttons on the vest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, this really is a hideous vest.” Gabriel spoke against his skin. He pulled off the offending item and tossed it behind him. Aziraphale went to protest at how Gabriel was treating his clothing, but was cut off by being pushed backward onto the bed. “First thing when you get to New York, you are seeing my stylist and getting a whole new wardrobe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel pulled off his own tie and tossed it aside. In one quick movement he slipped off his coat and placed it gently on a nearby chair. He settled himself on the bed and crushed his mouth against Aziraphale in a brutal kiss. Aziraphale wasn’t prepared for the force of the kiss, and he hated how powerless he felt to stop Gabriel. Eventually Aziraphale gathered his thoughts enough to push at Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel pulled back slightly, but still stayed close enough that Aziraphale couldn’t escape. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel, I think we need to talk about this New York idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about it?” Gabriel sat back and looked down at Aziraphale, his eyes narrowed just slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I can move.” Aziraphale could see Gabriel’s changing expression while he spoke. “I am perfectly happy with my life here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel curled his lip. “Is this about that Crowley guy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale sputtered. “What? No!” He shook his head, but a little voice kept asking if he was sure. “Crowley is just a friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel narrowed his eyes and ran his hands up Aziraphale’s chest, making him shiver. “So, you and him? You're not sleeping with him, are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Aziraphale could feel his cheeks heat up. "That's ridiculous, that you would think… I mean really… no."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel smiled and leaned down to give him a chaste kiss. "Good, I don't like to share." He continued to work on the buttons of Aziraphale’s shirt and peppered kisses all along his throat, stopping to lick against the pulse point. "Don't worry about anything, Sunshine. When you move in with me, you won't have to worry about that ill-mannered brute."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Gabriel, he is still my friend."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel sat back up while making a frustrated noise. He shot Aziraphale a look that he had not seen in many years. It was harsh and unforgiving, and sent a chill down his spine that reminded him of all the low points in their relationship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Aziraphale, I think I've been more than accommodating with this conversation." Aziraphale tried to sit up, but was pushed roughly back down on the bed. "Seriously. I mean, it's nice that you made a friend, but that's enough." The icy look made Aziraphale too petrified to say anything back. "Do you really think you have any other choice?" He cupped Aziraphale face with one hand, something that in a different context could have been considered romantic. "You know you could never do any better than me. Look at you, no one else would be interested."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Gabriel-" Aziraphale was cut off with a harsh kiss. When they broke apart he had trouble catching his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Stop talking," Gabriel said against his lips. "Just do what I say." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel ran his fingers through Aziraphale’s blonde curls, gently pulling. He resumed kissing. However Aziraphale’s mind couldn’t focus. Yes, the New York offer sounded wonderful, but he was in no way prepared to leave the life he had. He was in no way prepared to leave Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That thought that he would no longer have Crowley in his life, spurred Aziraphale to action. He pushed against Gabriel’s chest and shoved him to the side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel, no. I can’t do this.” Aziraphale stood up from the bed and started to gather his discarded clothes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other quickly scrambled to his feet and grabbed Aziraphale’s wrist to stop him from leaving. “What are you talking about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This!” He shouted gesturing between them. “I can’t do this, and I can’t go to New York.” He started to pull away, but Gabriel held firm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, hold on a minute, Sunshine.” He pulled Aziraphale close to his chest. He ran a free hand through the blonde hair and placed a few small kisses along his jawline. “Don’t freak out on me. You’re nervous, it's a lot to take in, I’ll admit that. Take some time to think before making your decision.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale stood for a few moments in Gabriel’s embrace. He felt the soft touches run through his hair and he realised that he didn’t find anything comforting about it. The times when Crowley had been there for him, even if just to lend an ear, brought him more peace than this. Even the small touches Aziraphale was able to get from Crowley were sweeter than anything Gabriel had ever done. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt as if he had been living his life completely blind up until this point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that Gabriel.” Aziraphale could hear his own voice sounding so detached. “I have made my decision. I’m staying here. I wish you all the best, truly I do.” He placed one last kiss on Gabriel’s lips and broke free of the grip and walked away. He started to open the door to the hotel room when Gabriel rushed forward, slammed his hand onto the door and forced it shut. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale.” His voice sounded harsh. “You can’t say no to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Funny,” Aziraphale mused. “But I think I just did.” He reached out once more to open the door, but Gabriel forced it closed again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After everything, you are just going to walk out and end it like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually,” He reached out and patted Gabriel’s cheek which was probably more condescending than comforting. “I believe you were the first to do that. Goodbye, Gabriel.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel made no effort to keep the door closed after that, too stunned to say or do anything, and Aziraphale walked out feeling a bit lightheaded. His smile kept all the way back to the shop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale woke up early the next morning and couldn’t wait to share the news of what happened with Crowley. But when he went to the flower shop, he found it locked. The whole place was dark and Crowley’s car was nowhere to be found, so he returned to his place and hept an eye out for both the sight and sound of the Bently. By now he was familiar with both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was worried that the previous conversation between them might have effectively ruined their friendship, so when he heard the familiar growl of the engine he rushed to the door, but paused before he opened it. His nerves got the best of him and he thought it would be best to wait for Crowley to come around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Three days passed with no sign of the man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale wasn't sure if he should go over or not. He missed Crowley and wanted to spend time with him, but how things had unfolded the last time, he wasn't sure if Crowley wanted to even see him again. Aziraphale looked over at the vase, the beautiful flowers were wilted and losing petals all over the counter. He felt like it was a perfect metaphor for his friendship with Crowley. Beautiful and alive one day, dying from neglect a few days later. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gathered his courage and decided to go across the street. If his friendship was going to die, he wanted to hear it straight out. There was already a customer talking with Crowley when Aziraphale entered, the doorbell announcing his presence. He waited by the front of the shop, idly looking over the beautiful flowers that lined every inch of space in the shop. He kept an eye on the lower branches of the trees and was a little surprised to not see Eve winding her way through them. She blended in enough with the trees, and kept to herself, that most people didn’t even notice she was around the shop. That was a clear indicator that something was wrong, Crowley hardly ever kept her in the tank during business hours unless requested by the customer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He kept going over what he was going to say to Crowley in his head; he would apologize for snapping the way he did then explain what happened. He was sure that Crowley would forgive him, much like every time before. However, a small voice crept into his head and reminded Aziraphale that people can only be forgiven so many times before they are cast aside. This could have very well been one time too many. He could tell Aziraphale off, he had every right to after how Aziraphale spoke to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale peered at the till from between one potted green plant and another that held small daisies. The customer was a tall, portly man so he completely covered Crowley's lithe form. Bugger, Aziraphale would have wanted to watch Crowley work without him being aware of Aziraphale's presence. He fiddled with his hands as they clasped together and his heart beat rapidly. A cold life devoid of Crowley flashed before his eyes, and he thought it was a fate worse than hell. He needed to make sure that he could salvage something between the two of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes, the customer left with an armful of peonies. Aziraphale marched up to the till with all the determination of someone who was going to thwart the devil himself. He was going to make sure to start the conversation before Crowley did, however all words died on his tongue when he saw Crowley. The man he had gotten to know so well in the year since they met stood before him with his usual long red hair cut short. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Crowley did look handsome with the new short hairstyle, the sides cut close but the top kept a bit longer and tousled in just the right way to make it look as if just woke up perfectly styled, Aziraphale was not expecting such a drastic change. Crowley looked up at Aziraphale keeping his face set in a blank expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve cut your hair,” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” He crossed his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Aziraphale didn’t know how to respond. “It looks nice.” They just stared at each other for a few seconds. Aziraphale cleared his throat. “Crowley, I wanted to talk to you about the other day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you made your feelings rather clear about the other day, Aziraphale.” The way Crowley spoke his name made him want to cry out. It was distant and painful to hear; he had gotten used to the nickname, now his real name was unwanted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” He couldn't muster the courage to look Crowley in the eye, even though he wanted-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say more. But his words failed him at the most crucial moment because he now fully realised how badly he had hurt Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great.” Crowley’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “Everything’s solved. You done?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Aziraphale said firmly. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that. But I just wanted you to know that I ended things with Gabriel last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale continued with a little hesitation in his voice, taking Crowley’s silence as an invitation to keep talking. “I told him it was over and I left.” He decided to leave out some of the finer details of the story. There was no need to get into the nitty gritty of it. “I am sorry for how I spoke to you the other day. That was uncalled for. And I-- well, I mean. I care deeply for you, my dear. I value our friendship more than anything and when he started talking about New York, it became obvious what I should do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “New York?” Crowley raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, well Gabriel is going to be appointed CEO soon.” He could tell that Crowley rolled his eyes underneath his dark sunglasses and mouthed a sarcastic ‘whoop de doo’. “He asked me to move to New York with him when that happens.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley raised his eyebrows over his sunglasses. “And you said no?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said no,” he confirmed and could feel his heart flutter at seeing just a small twitch of Crowley’s lips. It was a faint ghost of a smile, but Aziraphale adored the glimmer of it. “I will admit, I did think about it, though. It would have been foolish not to consider it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but do you really want to be with </span>
  <em>
    <span>old friend Gabe</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the rest of your life?” Crowley looked appalled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really, but who else would possibly want me?” Aziraphale admitted in a hushed tone. He looked down at his hands which rested on the counter. He found a discarded rose petal and picked it up to run his thumb across the velvet soft piece of a flower. He could recognize the insecurities that had been instilled in him due to Gabriel’s treatment. The pain of the previous relationship still ebbed and flowed, never truly feeling healed over the years. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would,” Crowley’s voice was barely above a whisper, but Aziraphale heard him loud and clear. He looked up to see a soft expression on Crowley’s face. “I will. I do.” He spoke as if he was trying to convey something much larger than the both of them, but he didn’t know how. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale stood frozen, shocked by that revelation. Sure, he thought about Crowley more often than he would ever admit, and he always harbored that secret desire that one day Crowley may possibly hold some type of affection for him. He never dared to dream it to be true.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley ran his hands through his short hair in frustration. “Angel, I don’t think you realize how kind and caring you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved from his spot behind the counter and removed his sunglasses, tossing them on the counter. Without them he looked so vulnerable, there was no way he could hide anything from Aziraphale. Which Aziraphale was not sure was such a good idea now that Crowley's hands reached for the till, bracketing Aziraphale between them. The very air between them felt like it was sizzling and prickling at his skin through his clothes. He dared not breathe for fear of ruining whatever this moment was. Even though he should have felt trapped, Aziraphale didn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are the most wonderfully charming, fussy, hedonistic angel I have ever met.” Well, that wasn’t as romantic as Aziraphale had hoped it would be. “I can’t even tell you how long I’ve wanted you. I think since the moment Eve perched herself on your shoulder, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He wanted to smile and tell him that everything would work out and they could be together. He knew however that it wouldn’t work, Crowley was an amazing person and deserved someone much better than him, so he avoided looking at Crowley’s unguarded eyes. “You couldn’t possibly…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale was cut off abruptly when he felt a gentle hand cup his jaw and guided him to meet Crowley’s gaze. It was then that Aziraphale realised how much of the truth could be seen in Crowley’s eyes. If Aziraphale said no, he knew Crowley would respect that and stop. Many instances during their year of frequenting each other attested to that. But he didn’t want to say no right now. He could deal with the aftermath when his brain decided to catch up later. Right now he wanted nothing more than to lean closer to the alluring warmth of Crowley. His eyes closed as he felt a brush of lips against his own. It was a brief gentle kiss that conveyed so much affection that Aziraphale melted into it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was everything Aziraphale imagined it would be. This was nothing compared to Gabriel. Even when they shared that first kiss, it felt like a prelude to something more. Gabriel had always treated kissing as a necessary stepping stone to what he truly wanted. Aziraphale had no idea how amazing this could be with someone who actually cared for him. It was so exhilarating to have Crowley pressed so close and use his actions to explain the feelings he could not. There was no expectation of anything else, just them, together, sharing an intimate moment. His stomach fluttered when he could feel Crowley’s hand move from his jaw and tangle his fingers into his hair. Hesitantly he reached out and placed his hands on Crowley’s firm chest, feeling the warmth of it through his shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as he grew more bold and pressed himself closer, Crowley pulled away slightly causing Aziraphale to unintentionally whimper at the loss of contact. He remained close enough for Aziraphale to feel his breath as he spoke. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those words sparked something inside Aziraphale. He grabbed onto Crowley’s jacket and pulled him into a desperate and clingy kiss. Crowley kissed back just as desperate. His hand that still rested on the counter moved to the small of Aziraphale’s back to hold him as close as possible. Aziraphale could almost feel the passion and, dare he say, love pour from Crowley. The way in which he held Aziraphale made him feel so safe and warm, like he was the most important person in the world. It was something he never thought possible to feel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was like a dam broke down in Aziraphale’s mind. He clutched desperately to the other man, fearful that he would disappear. His heart beat erratically everytime Crowley pressed himself impossibly closer. Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s hand move from the safe place on his lower back towards the bottom edge of his jumper. As the first traces of fingertips caressed bare skin, Aziraphale’s breath hitched before sighing contentedly into the other’s mouth. Crowley grew more bold and inched his hand under the shirt and allowed himself to take in the warmth from the other man.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two finally broke apart. Crowley’s honey golden eyes were blown wide. Aziraphale let his hands release the jacket and rest against Crowley’s chest, he could feel the movement of each breath and smiled. Crowley leaned forward and placed one last chaste kiss on Aziraphale's lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two looked at each other and all of a sudden New York was a distant thought and Aziraphale felt like staying was the best choice he could have ever made. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dinner tonight?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale nodded, he didn’t think he could trust his voice to speak up right now. “I’ll come by after closing time.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Daffodil symbolizes new beginnings</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Lilac</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aziraphale was reluctant to leave Crowley’s arms, but managed to by making an </span>
  <em>
    <span>inhuman </span>
  </em>
  <span>effort. He looked at the closed sign on the door and decided that maybe today would be a good day for it to stay closed. So Aziraphale puttered about and took care of things that needed to be done without the shop opening. With the ledger up to date, the shelves restocked and organized, and even the dust cleaned a bit, he went upstairs to get ready. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When it was about late afternoon there was a loud knock on the front door which indicated that Crowley was there. Aziraphale adjusted his khaki coat and vest one last time before walking downstairs. When he opened the door, the picture Crowley made floored Aziraphale as completely and suddenly as Gabriel agreeing with his style choices. Crowley didn’t change his wardrobe too often, which was something Aziraphale couldn’t complain about since he only had a handful of outfits himself and rotated through them, but this time Crowley looked incredible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Awestruck, was the only word that came to mind to describe how Aziraphale felt seeing this man waiting patiently at his door, his golden eyes already exposed without the sunglasses. This was not something he was prepared to see. Aziraphale has started to associate Crowley with sunglasses as someone in a suit of armour. They were there to hide and protect himself, and yet he willingly would remove this armour when he was around Aziraphale. It was as if he trusted Aziraphale not to hurt him when he was so exposed. That thought made his heart soar.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In an effort to distract himself from these thoughts, he allowed himself to fully take in the sight of Crowley. His perfectly fitted black suit clung to him in just the right places and Aziraphale had to make an effort not to stare. The red tie stood out against his chest and Aziraphale caught himself before reaching his fingers out to run them against what he presumed to be very soft silk. Aziraphale could hardly believe he was about to go on a proper date with such a handsome man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley, on the other hand, smirked and took his time raking his eyes over Aziraphale as if he was already making plans to find a way to worship every inch of the man standing before him. Aziraphale always noticed when Crowley would look him over, or ‘check him out’ as the kids said, but he always assumed it was in jest. This time, however, without the sunglasses it felt more real and made his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He knew he didn’t have much to offer in terms of looks, or at least that was what he was always told by Gabriel, so it made him feel self-conscious about how Crowley took him in without a trace of shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look perfect, angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From behind his back, he brought forth a single forget-me-not, the petals were bright blue without a single blemish or discoloration. He reached out and gently tucked the pristine stalk into the pocket of Aziraphale’s suit jacket. It was as if Crowley had searched through every flower in his stop and specifically picked the most luxurious flower that existed. The two smiled fondly at each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, if you will follow me.” Crowley extended his arm which Aziraphale happily grabbed onto. “I have lots of plans for the evening.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley walked arm-in-arm with Aziraphale to his car and opened the passenger door. He hesitated just a few moments -- after all, Aziraphale had experienced the terror that were Crowley's driving skills -- before he entered the car. They made it to the destination with only two life-ending moments flashing before Aziraphale’s eyes, a personal best. He looked at the small building they were parked in front of: it was much too small to be a proper restaurant, perhaps a cafe of some kind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The place they entered turned out to be a cafe-slash-bar, spacious enough to allow privacy between the few tables that were scattered throughout the bar. But what really caught Aziraphale’s eye was the brick wall behind the bar was lined with shelf upon shelf with every type of wine imaginable. The lights were dim enough that the small red candles glowing softly at each table provided a cosy and intimate feeling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured,” Crowley led him towards the bar area on the other side of the room.  “Since you like wine so much, you might enjoy wine tasting.” He donned his armour of sunglasses and refused to look at Aziraphale as if he was worried about the judgement he would receive from this idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale smiled. “This is wonderful Crowley. Thank you.” He still didn’t meet his gaze, but Aziraphale could see a hint of pink across the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were given the first wine to taste. The man who was working was extremely knowledgeable and answered all of Aziraphale’s questions. They slowly made their way through the different kinds of wines offered and enjoyed the conversation. Aziraphale talked most of the time and Crowley listened and smiled every once in a while. Even though this time was supposed to be different from every other time they went out, it didn’t feel like it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And he had the nerve,” Aziraphale was talking excitedly with his wine glass in one hand, the small amount of liquid left was threatening to spill out with every movement he made, “to say that money is no object. I can’t tell you how many times I told him I didn’t have the book. And if I did there would be no way I would sell the book to such a boorish person. Honestly, he was quite rude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The audacity of some people,” Crowley had finished all his wine already and was leaning one arm on the table to bring himself slightly closer to Aziraphale. “I mean really, who would dare call a bookshop asking to buy a book?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale gave him a flat stare which was greeted with a sly smirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no need to insult-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley shook his head. “I’m not insulting anything angel. I actually think it's endearing how persistent you are in who can buy your books.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Aziraphale felt a small blush across the bridge of his nose. “I just want to make sure they will be taken care of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley reached across the table and took hold of Aziraphale’s hand. He brought it closer to him and placed a small kiss on the back. Aziraphale looked down at his glass with a smile. No one had ever described his interests in books as endearing. Usually words like eccentric or snobbish were used. This was just another way that Crowley was proving himself to be absolutely perfect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually they finished at the wine tasting room, and Crowley wound up buying a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that Aziraphale fell in love with. The next stop was a nice little restaurant, it wasn’t a place that was too elaborate, but cozy enough. Aziraphale actually liked it much better than any place that Gabriel had ever brought him to. They made their way through dinner. When coffee and dessert was served, Crowley didn’t bother eating anything himself. He picked up a forkful of the tiramisu and held it out for Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was not something that Aziraphale was expecting, or even used to. He was reluctant at first, but eventually he closed his hand around Crowley’s wrist which felt much warmer than it should have been. Although that could have easily been Aziraphale’s hands, which trembled slightly. His lips wrapped around the fork, a thought hadn’t occurred to him meant they would either have to share the cutlery or Crowley would forgo dessert entirely. He let the chocolate flavours melt on his tongue and he hummed in appreciation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn’t even realised that he closed his eyes until they opened too see a stunned-looking Crowley. He was starting with rapt attention, mouth parted slightly with just the barest hint of a smile, and breathing a little shallow. For a moment, Aziraphale thought he ruined the night. He remembered how Gabriel would complain about how much he enjoyed desserts a bit too much and would roll his eyes and tell him not to act like that in public. He was worried he overstepped his boundaries and Crowley would get upset with him. For a moment, he wished Crowley hadn’t put his sunglasses back on so he could read his expression a little better. He quickly let go of the wrist he was still holding onto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- ah. Sorry,” Aziraphale stammered. “I wasn’t thinking properly. I shouldn’t have…” He tried to make some sort of gesture to explain what he was apologizing for, but truthfully he wasn’t sure himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That actions seemed to break Crowley out of whatever spell he was under and he smiled fully, cut off another piece, and held it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing to be sorry about, Angel. I’m not much into sweets but I love seeing you enjoy them.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing that Crowley didn’t mind, Aziraphale gathered the courage to lean a little closer and continued in the same manner as before. Crowley fed him one bite at a time, each more wonderful than the last, only pausing to remark on how gorgeous he thought Aziraphale was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That comment did throw him off. He had never been told that before. Actually when he thought about it, he never really had been told he was attractive at all. Gabriel very rarely gave him compliments and if he did, it was usually to try and get Aziraphale into bed. The way Crowley looked at him made him believe he was saying exactly what he thought. Aziraphale’s heart fluttered at the sight of such a warm smile from Crowley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When dessert was finished, and the coffee was gone, they made their way out of the restaurant. The sun had already started to set, the remnants of the event streaked across the lower half of the sky. The next stop on the date was a walk in St James Park. They talked the entire time, about everything and nothing at all. Crowley seemed to try and fill every moment with something other than silence. He went on about how intelligent dolphins were, how they were probably smarter than people, and how he was convinced that humans were only the third smartest animal on the planet. Aziraphale couldn’t help but laugh at that notion. When he looked over at a Crowley who was obviously very serious, he laughed harder. He thought it was absolutely charming how passionate Crowley was about the most bizarre ideas. Eventually, he joined in the laughing as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Together they talked about almost all of Crowley’s random thoughts only stopping briefly to look at the peaceful ripples in the water. All of a sudden, Aziraphale felt something warm slip between his fingers. He looked down to see Crowley’s hand entwined with his. Crowley didn’t look at him, and the pink tint seemed to reappear across the bridge of his nose. Aziraphale smiled and gave his hand a slight squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After about another half an hour, Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s fingertips start to become just as cold as his. He suggested that maybe it was time to head back to the Bentley. A trace of disappointment shadowed Crowley’s face at that, but Aziraphale tightened his hold on Crowley’s hand and moved closer. They walked back to the car pressed against each other in what Aziraphale hoped showed he didn’t want the night to end either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley fiddled with the radio and a modern-sounding song that Aziraphale had never heard before filled the silence in the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is a nice song.” Aziraphale made an offhand comment. “Who sings it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Queen.” Crowley replied trying to keep focus on the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are they any good?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Up ahead a light turned red and Crowley slammed on his breaks a bit more harshly than was necessary. “Are they… Angel are you telling me you’ve never listened to Queen?” He stared at Aziraphale in shock and horror.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should I have?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley shook his head and proceeded to explain why everyone should listen to Queen. Aziraphale half listened to his rant and watched his hands wildly move about as he spoke. An idea popped into his head and he reached across the seats to lace his fingers with Crowley’s again. Just like Aziraphale thought, Crowley fell silent in an instant. He seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say and instead looked down at their joined hands with a blush across his face. He looked ahead, as if he was trying to avoid looking directly at Aziraphale, and drove the car back to the bookshop with only the sound of Queen serenading them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley turned the engine off. Aziraphale looked out the window at the bookshop, the sun set not too long ago and the streetlamps were the only thing providing any type of light on the old building. For the first time, Aziraphale didn’t feel the warmth and safety he usually felt with his shop. He knew that once this date was over, he would be alone in the shop. Of course he could invite Crowley in for a cup of tea, but he didn’t want those actions to be misconstrued. He knew he needed more time before he felt ready to take any next steps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his mind, however, he worried that if he didn’t invite Crowley in then it would seem he wasn’t interested. His mind fretted over his options and he didn’t notice when Crowley slipped out of the car and walked around to the passenger’s side. He was a little startled when the door opened and Crowley extended his hand to help him out of the car. Neither let their hands go until they reached the front doors of the bookshop. They looked at each other for a few moments, not quite knowing what to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had… I mean this was-” Crowley was trying so hard to form some type of coherent sentence and all Aziraphale could do was smile at his attempt. “What I am saying is…” He trailed and ran his hand through his hair as if trying to collect his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me, too.” Aziraphale reassured him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nodded and rocked back onto his heels in a nervous gesture. He looked at Aziraphale and smiled slightly. His right hand reached out and stroked a thumb over Aziraphale’s bowtie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You always wear tartan,” Crowley spoke absentmindedly. Before Aziraphale had a chance to ask if he had an issue with his fashion choices, Crowley seemed to realise what he had just said. “Not that you don’t look good in tartan. You do.” He sounded a little panicked and yet still continued despite the small smile Aziraphale had for him. “I mean, you would look good in anything. It’s just that… um, tartan seems more… uh, you.” He finished lamely and looked up at Aziraphale who still held a warm smile of affection. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Crowley could say anything else, Aziraphale reached up and slowly removed his sunglasses. He looked into those golden-coloured eyes which carried so much emotion in them and right now Aziraphale could read exactly what was wanted. Crowley moved closer and placed his hands on the other’s hips, his grip was firm but could easily be broken if Aziraphale wanted to. Aziraphale tucked the sunglasses into the breast pocket of Crowley’s jacket. He ran his hands down Crowley's chest and settled them on Crowley’s hips. Slowly, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Crowley’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had expected Crowley to take control of the kiss at this point, that was usually what would happen with Gabriel. But no such thing happened, instead Crowley relaxed and melted into Aziraphale returning the gentle kiss. He was very much aware that Crowley was not the one in control of this situation. Given the way his relationship with Gabriel had been, he was grateful that Crowley was allowing him to make the first move. His heart fluttered at the thought of this man caring so deeply for him, that he would allow his own wants and desires to come second to Aziraphale. It was a concept he didn’t even know was possible for a person. Everything he had learned and experienced with love was the opposite of what Crowley had shown him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feeling was a little overwhelming and Aziraphale lost his self-control. What he had intended to be a gentle kiss quickly turned desperate. He pushed Crowley against the door to his shop and ran his hands through the short red hair again causing Crowley to tilt his head so Aziraphale could explore his mouth further. Without thinking, Aziraphale swiped his tongue against Crowley’s bottom lip which prompted him to part them and allow Aziraphale anything he wanted. As the kiss deepened, Crowley grew more bold and pressed himself flush against the other, his grip tightened slightly where they rested on Aziraphale’s hips, but didn’t move from their spot. Aziraphale suddenly pulled away and backed up as much as he could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked a little worried and cast his eyes upon the ground, not wanting to look up. “I don’t know if I can do this Crowley.” His breathing was ragged and his voice sounded a little broken. Crowley stood in stunned silence, he shoved his hands into his pockets. He tried to take a step back a step back as well but the door behind him didn’t allow for that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Aziraphale reached out and grabbed onto Crowley’s forearm, not wanting him to think he had done something wrong. “I mean, I don’t think I can invite you in right now. What I am trying to say, with everything before-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley reached out and framed Aziraphale’s face between his hands. He gently ran his thumbs over Aziraphale’s cheeks and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Angel, we don’t have to do anything. Tonight was perfect the way it was, and I hope I get to take you out again.” Aziraphale nodded, smiling fondly and Crowley responded in kind. “Then that settles it, I will see you tomorrow.” He placed one last kiss on Aziraphale’s lips, and walked back to the Bentley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later that night, when Aziraphale laid in bed trying to sleep, he thought about that kiss. The last one was so sweet and caring. It made his heart melt; for the first time he knew what he felt with Gabriel was not love, but just a mere childish illusion of what it should have been. He dreamt of Crowley that night, kissing him softly, holding him, and whispering tender words into his ear. Aziraphale wished he had asked the other man to stay the night, if only just to have the chance to fall asleep safely tucked into his arms.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lilac symbolizes new love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Lavender</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aziraphale treasured the small moments that he and Crowley shared. They made a point to see each other after closing their respective shops each day. Often they would go for walks in the park, Crowley would lace his fingers hesitantly with Aziraphale’s, who would smile and give a reassuring squeeze. They would talk and spend time together in the backroom of the bookshop, sometimes wine was involved and sometimes it wasn’t. He would listen as Crowley talked about his day, or whatever was on his mind, sprawled out comfortably across the couch and Aziraphale would find himself preoccupied with Crowley’s lips. He would drift into thoughts recalling how they felt pressed against his own, arms wrapped around him protectively, and his heart beating under the fingertips that rested on his chest. He would snap out of these thoughts when Crowley would ask a question and he had to figure out where the topic of conversation had gone. The worst part was that he couldn’t even blame his distraction on wine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For their second official date, Crowley took him to a local botanical garden that Aziraphale had forgotten the name of. Crowley talked almost the entire time about every type of plant they saw, how to take care of them, and what they meant. That was the first time that Aziraphale had realised that people still used flower meaning outside of any symbolism within books. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So every flower has a meaning behind it?” Aziraphale asked as they continued to walk around the gardens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Most of them,” Crowley said without meeting his gaze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So those blue flowers you’ve given me twice now.” Aziraphale watched as Crowley glanced at him then looked away quickly. “The forget-me-nots I believe, what do they mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley stopped walking. He looked over at Aziraphale as if he was going to say something, but shook his head instead, the slightest shade of pink creeping up his neck. “Uhh… can’t recall.” He smiled in an obvious attempt to cover up the blatant lie. “Look over there, they have bluebells.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dragged Aziraphale towards the flowers, a habit he had developed now that they were almost always holding hands when walking. The subject was quickly changed when Crowley started to explain the mythology about witches turning into hares and hiding among these flowers. Aziraphale let Crowley keep this secret. He knew he had the resources in his shop to figure out the meaning easily, but he felt like that would be breaking Crowley’s trust. He decided to wait until Crowley felt comfortable enough to explain the meaning to him, it would be much more special that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t until Crowley looked back at him that he realised he hadn't caught a single word of anything that was said. He used the leverage from their laced hands to pull Aziraphale in close, his free hand laced into the blond curls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, you make that face quite a lot.” Crowley gave him an endearing smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what face is that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like you can’t believe you are with such a handsome man.” Aziraphale laughed and shook his head. However, before he managed to think of a retort Crowley continued. “Although, I think I should be the one making that face because I have no idea how I got lucky enough to be here with such a wonderful angel.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley looked as if he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him, but he hesitated. Aziraphale could tell that he wasn’t going to move, not without permission. Without pause, Aziraphale leaned closer and placed a loving kiss onto Crowley’s lips. There was a wolf whistle from somewhere in the distance and both broke apart with a blush and rather large smiles. They continued their walk through the garden but Crowley would stop every now and again to pull their entwined hands and kiss the back of Aziraphale's.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continued to plan weekly dates. In-between those they would spend as much time together as possible, even if it was just something as simple as Aziraphale bringing his tartan-patterned thermos over to the flower shop on a particularly cold morning just so they could share a cup of tea together. Although he was more than happy with their relationship thus far, he always seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. With only the experience of his previous relationship, he was waiting for Crowley to get bored and leave or to cancel on him after they made plans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>None of that happened though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few weeks into their newly-established relationship, Aziraphale had the chance to go to Crowley’s flat for the first time. It was more plain than he expected with the all-white furniture arranged in a neat and orderly fashion, and the grey walls that were a much darker color than Aziraphale would have chosen in a home. It gave the impression of being much too cold and sterile for someone as ostentatious as Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of idle curiosity, Aziraphale glanced around the room when Crowley went to the kitchen to bring them some wine. He took in the artwork that decorated the walls which were sparse but looked rather expensive. It gave him a slight case of déjà-vù. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entire apartment actually reminded him too much of Gabriel. The way it looked like it was made just to impress others, as if no actual living was done there. But Crowley was either at the flower shop or the bookshop most days, so perhaps he wasn’t actually doing much living here. Aziraphale was a little mortified at making a connection between his ex and Crowley. They were two people from vastly different worlds. Crowley had proven himself time and time again that he was inherently kind and a good person, whereas Gabriel didn’t care about anything other than himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eye caught a soft green colour that illuminated from a room to one side. He knew it wasn’t the kitchen since Crowley had left through a different door. A soft gasp ushered past his lips the moment he walked past the threshold and took in the sight of a room filled to the brim with the most vibrant green plants he has ever seen in his entire life. He reached out and stroked the leaf of the closest. It was absolutely stunning, not one of them had any discoloration of any kind. He walked a little bit further into the room and looked over the life that inhabited it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was what Aziraphale was expecting Crowley’s flat to be like. Just like his shop: full of life, a little disorganized, but just so very Crowley. Aziraphale could almost feel the love that radiated from this room and it made him smile. It seemed to be the only one that Crowley devoted any personal attention to. The rest of the apartment didn’t match, but this room was just so quintessentially him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Crowley spoke up behind him, “I see you found my greenroom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear, these are so beautiful!” Aziraphale smiled and Crowley couldn’t help mirror it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well they better be.” He finally broke eye contact and looked over his plants in the room. He glared slightly at them. “They know better by now than to disappoint me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked slightly puzzled, but chuckled at the way Crowley looked like he was actually threatening his own plants. He led Aziraphale out of the greenroom and into the living room, an uncorked bottle of wine and two filled glasses sat waiting on the coffee table. Aziraphale sat on one end of the couch with his hands placed perfectly in his lap. Crowley handed him one glass, and took up residence on the other side. The couch could comfortably fit two people, but Crowley purposefully took up more room than should have been possible. He somehow sat on the opposite end yet still crowded in close to Aziraphale, enough that he could feel Crowley’s body heat warming his entire left side. It must have been because the man behaved as if he simply could not fathom how to sit with his limbs gathered close to himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They ended up with something playing on the TV as background noise. Aziraphale couldn’t even recall what it was. They just enjoyed each other's company and the wine. When the bottle was emptied and Crowley fetched a second one, he hesitated. He studied the bottle and then looked at Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Umm, I can open this if you like.” Crowley kept inspecting the label as if it held the answer to the meaning of life. “I won’t be able to drink this if I am going to drive you back home later.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale understood the implications of those words. This felt like it could be the moment that everything went downhill, he wasn’t entirely sure how Crowley would react. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley had been kind and understanding in every point in the relationship so far. But this seemed like it could take a wrong turn depending on Aziraphale’s answer. He remembered the way Gabriel had convinced him to sleep with him even though he had been clearly not ready. He thought Crowley wouldn’t do something like this, but sometimes people weren't who you thought they were.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean,” Crowley placed the bottle down on the table nearly knocking over his own glass in the process, “I don’t have to open it at all.” He stood up abruptly and paced to the other side of the room. “I’m sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn’t have phrased it like that. I’ll get my coat and I can take you home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear, please wait.” Aziraphale stood up and walked around the couch. Crowley stilled his movements and turned to face him. “I appreciate you taking things slow on my behalf. I don’t want to end the night just yet, though. Perhaps we can share this bottle of wine, I can spend the night.” Aziraphale twisted his hands in front of him and avoided eye contact. “I don’t know if I am ready for anything else, however.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moments passed silently. This situation felt like it was on repeat from his past, he didn’t want to look Crowley in the eye for fear of what might happen. Sometimes conversations were easier to have when you couldn’t see the other person’s reaction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley spoke softly, “that sounds perfect.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and led him back to the couch. He opened the second bottle and poured two more glasses. This time Crowley leaned back with one arm thrown over the couch. Aziraphale mourned the loss of physical contact from earlier, so he summoned up every bit of courage that he had and leaned back against the other man’s chest. At a quick glance over his shoulder, Aziraphale could see the surprised expression quickly replaced with a warm smile and a kiss to his temple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Aziraphale yawned, Crowley suggested it was time for bed, and with that came the issue of sleepwear. Unfortunately, Crowley was a great deal smaller around the midsection than Aziraphale was, so borrowing something to sleep in was out of the question. He could sleep in his underwear, like most men did, but he was a little ashamed of his soft rolls and pudge that he carried. Crowley, on the other hand, was lean and Aziraphale couldn’t hold a candle to him in terms of attractiveness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t take this the wrong way.” Crowley started to open one of the drawers of his dresser. Aziraphale felt a little embarrassed, he was obviously coming to the same realization that went through Aziraphale’s mind. He was going to explain how he didn’t have anything that would fit him, maybe Crowley would even realize that he could probably do better than Aziraphale in the long run. “I promise I was going to give these to you, um, at some point.” Crowley turned back and handed a pair of pajamas to the other man. The top and bottoms matched perfectly and were covered in small prints of various books. They even looked to be the right size. “I dunno, I saw them, thought you would like them. Then I realized I didn’t know your birthday or anything so I just... I swear I wasn’t just stashing these at my place like a creep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked down at the gift disbelievingly. He couldn’t comprehend the fact that Crowley would see something and not only think of him, but would purchase it just to make him happy. He traced over the fabric and felt the smile take over his face as he looked up to see Crowley staring in anticipation. His shoulders dropped slightly, as if waiting to see what Aziraphale’s reaction would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, my dear.” He clutched the gift tight against his chest. “These are wonderful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley looked as if he was trying to keep a smile at bay and failing. “I’ll set an alarm and I can make breakfast before we head to work tomorrow. Goodnight, angel.” He started to walk away which confused Aziraphale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait! Where are you going?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pointed out of the room. “To sleep?” He looked back at Aziraphale with a slightly confused expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dear, I know I am not ready for anything intimate, but I am not going to kick you out of your own bed. So stay here, with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale watched as Crowley froze. In an instant, his face turned a deep shade of red reaching right up to the root of the red hair and down his pale neck. His hands started to fidget and his eyes darted everywhere but at Aziraphale. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I thought it would be best if I spend the night on the couch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s heart swelled at that. He mentally scolded himself for his earlier thoughts. Crowley was too sweet of a person to ever think the way that Aziraphale assumed he would. “I would prefer if you were here with me instead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was all the invitation that was needed. Crowley nodded and headed straight for his dresser in the corner. While he was rummaging through some of the drawers, Aziraphale took that opportunity to change quickly into his pyjamas. He quickly crawled between the silky satin sheets which warmed up against his much higher body temperature. His cheeks heated up as he watched Crowley strip free from his shirt and slip on just a pair of black sleeping trousers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A couple of stray thoughts crashed into Aziraphale’s mind as he took in the sight of a bare-chested Crowley. The first thought was that Crowley looked absolutely beautiful with his pale skin exposed and trousers riding a bit too low on his hips. Aziraphale would never admit it out loud, but he loved watching him walk whenever possible. He would purposefully ask Crowley to fetch different things from around the shop just so he could admire the view of him moving about. All sorts of images played through his mind where Crowley would move those serpentine hips and the trousers would fall lower with each movement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The second thought that came into his mind was how much he really wanted to drag his fingers down Crowley’s chest. Every inch of exposed skin was like a small temptation calling Aziraphale, asking him to run his fingers down the valley and peaks of his chest and stomach. Possibly even allowing his fingernails to dig into the sinewy muscles on his back while Crowley pressed himself-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small blush took over his face as he realised he must have been staring. His eyes quickly shot up to see Crowley smirking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I didn’t know any better,” Crowley slipped under the covers on the other side of the bed. “I would think you were enjoying watching me a little too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale felt very much like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Well, if you hadn’t put on such a show.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That comment had the intended effect, Crowley’s face instantly turned red. He curled up under the covers and tried to hide the blush that was all too exposed against his pale skin. Aziraphale laughed and pulled the covers over himself as well. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to curl up against Crowley, but he very much wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They each laid on their own side of the bed and waited for sleep to arrive. The bed they shared was much larger than Aziraphale was used to. Although he purposefully purchased a smaller bed for his own flat since he knew that he would be the only one who would be using it. This bed, however, was made for more than just one, or perhaps it was made for someone who was more self indulgent about sleep than Aziraphale. That thought that others had shared this space with Crowley made Aziraphale slightly jealous. Obviously he was being silly, Aziraphale had a life before Crowley, so of course it worked the other way around. Truthfully though, Aziraphale worried that he wouldn’t hold up to any past lovers that Crowley had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anyone that Crowley brought home must have been very attractive in order to catch his attention. Aziraphale wondered why Crowley was interested in him. There could be no possible way he could be considered attractive. Not by someone like Crowley. Gorgeous, lean, with a smile that he definitely used to charm his way out of any trouble he ended up in. His mind started to spiral into some negative thought patterns about how Crowley would obviously figure this out and leave. That thought pattern was broken however when he noticed how close Crowley shifted himself towards Aziraphale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley looped one arm underneath Aziraphale’s shoulders and neck which prompted Aziraphale to respond by curling himself into Crowley’s touch while he placed his head on his chest. He inhaled deeply the faintly sweet scent of flowers that he couldn't quite place, which made sense given his profession, but underneath the earth and flower smell was something else. Something that Aziraphale couldn’t put into words but made him feel safe and warm. He pressed himself as close into Crowley as possible and sighed in bliss. Soft lips brushed against his hairline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you don’t mind,” Crowley murmured into his hair. “You just seemed so lonely so far away from me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Aziraphale responded perfectly content with the situation. He looked up and placed a very loving kiss on Crowley’s lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The response from Crowley was instantaneous. He parted his own lips and deepened the kiss much more than Aziraphale expected, not that he would complain. Aziraphale made soft noises of need as he felt Crowley’s tongue slip into his mouth and brush against his own. His hand did manage to find its way across the chest he was admiring earlier and could feel the soft touches of Crowley’s hand into his hair. He gasped at the sudden pull on his scalp. His hand moved across the expanse of Crowley’s chest, softly mapping out every bit of skin within reach, his thumb brushed over a nipple and was delighted when Crowley hummed pleasantly in response. Aziraphale just pressed himself a little closer and continued kissing, hoping he could hear that sound again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although Aziraphale had already expressed he was not ready to take it further, he did worry that this sent the wrong message and Crowley would try and push him a bit further. He knew he should stop, but found that every time Crowley’s breath hitched his resolve would crumble a little more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After what seemed like a blissful eternity, Crowley gave him one final kiss and broke away with a happy sigh. He pulled Aziraphale close, and placed his free hand over the one that rested on his chest. They stayed wrapped up in each other for a few more moments before Crowley’s voice broke through the stillness that settled into the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, angel.” Crowley spoke sleepily. Aziraphale was a little impressed that he sounded tired already. Aziraphale couldn’t possibly be ready to sleep after that short-lived experience. He wanted more, but at the same time he worried he wouldn’t live up to any expectations Crowley would have of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, my dear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while, Crowley’s breathing evened out as sleep took hold. He was content to stay wrapped in the warmth of his arms for all eternity. Without intending to, his mind flicked back to memories of the past. He remembered the first time he spent the night at Gabriel’s. He had curled up in a similar position and had fallen asleep thinking that it would only get better from there. Although, thinking back he did remember seeing some signs that not everything in that relationship was okay. That first night, when they got drunk on the couch, Gabriel had every intention of taking it farther if Aziraphale would have let him. On the flipside, Crowley had shown in every way possible that he respected Aziraphale and would never take advantage of him. It was a stark contrast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With just the slightest movement of his head, Aziraphale was able to look at the clock on the nightstand. It was getting late, and he needed to let go of these thoughts in his head if he was going to get any sleep tonight. He sighed and nuzzled deeper into Crowley’s chest, taking in the scent of this man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley’s groggy voice broke through the silence. “I can feel you thinking, either go to sleep or tell me about it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is an exaggeration,” Aziraphale protested in hopes that it would change the subject. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? ‘Cause I think you tapped out an entire novel in morse code on my chest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale stilled his fingers, just now realising he had been tapping them. “I apologize dear. I didn’t mean to wake you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S’fine.” Crowley did sound a bit sleepy, but didn’t make any mention of it. “What’s on your mind?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale swallowed nervously. He had a lot of thoughts swirling around his mind all evening, so it seemed impossible to narrow it down to something coherent. After a few moments, he finally settled on one thing. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to keep having to wait for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley tightened his grip on Aziraphale and placed another kiss in his hair. “Don’t ever be sorry. I am happy just being with you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was because he wasn’t looking at Crowley, or maybe it was because he truly was tired, or maybe it was because the middle of the night was always the best time for confessions. Aziraphale broke at that moment. He closed his eyes shut to stop the tears that wanted to be shed, he pressed himself closer to Crowley hoping it would comfort him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's not fair to you,” he said trying very hard to keep his voice even despite the tears that started to spill from behind his tightly shut eyes. “You deserve someone who is able to express their feelings for you. Not someone who is damaged and you have to piece back together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley hushed him and ran his hand through the short blonde curls. “Angel, I don’t want anyone else but you. I don’t care if we never do anything more than this.” He gently brought Aziraphale's chin up with one finger, before he placed a soft kiss on his lips. “You have no idea how happy you make me.” Crowley reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a small pack of tissues. He dabbed at Aziraphale’s face to clean up the tears that seemed to fall and smear themselves over his cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked up at Crowley, his face was barely visible in the darkness. Even with the lack of light in the room, Aziraphale could clearly see the small downturn of Crowley’s lips. Obviously he must care for Aziraphale, or else he wouldn’t look this saddened by Aziraphale’s admission of his doubts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a small smile, he resettled against Crowley’s chest and dragged one finger in small circles across the skin under his fingertips, goosebumps raising the flesh. Crowley rubbed one hand across Aziraphale’s back, and he felt comforted by that simple touch. He thought about trying to sleep again, but he did have a question he had wanted to ask for a while, and the middle of the night seemed like the best time to do it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley," he began, directing his query to the man's chest instead of his face. “Why did you cut your hair?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand on his back stilled and Aziraphale could hear his heartbeat speed up slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dunno, just felt like it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The lie was terrible and Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything else. If he didn’t want to share the story behind it, then he didn’t have to. Eventually Crowley sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, after we got into that fight, I was upset.” He started up the hand movements again, as if he was trying to comfort Aziraphale through this story. “I felt like I needed to do something drastic. So I went to the barber shop, told them to either cut my hair or I would take the scissors and do it myself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale was upset to hear those words. He hadn’t made the connection that he was the reason for Crowley’s change in hair style. “I am so sorry-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he had the chance to finish the sentence, Crowley leaned down and kissed him. “Don’t worry about it angel. It’s just hair, it’ll grow back. Now go to sleep, it’s getting late.” Crowley continued to rub his back until the tiredness finally set in. Aziraphale fell asleep in the arms of the one person who he felt truly cared for him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lavender symbolizes love, protection, happiness, and devotion</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. White Dittany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aziraphale finished cutting the strawberries and arranged them pleasantly on the plate which was already overflowing with various types of cheese, apples, and grapes. He cleaned up the kitchen and brought the plate down to the backroom of the shop; the wine was already sitting on the table. He was fussing over every detail of the shop, which recently went on an organizational spree-- not that his definition of organization actually meant anything to normal people who wouldn’t be able to make any sense of the shop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stumbled upon the grey business card when he was in the process of cleaning. It didn’t even register until he was looking at it, that he hadn’t really thought about Gabriel in a while. Every so often a stray thought would pop up, and most of the time they were centered around how different Crowley and Gabriel were.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just the little things that Crowley did that reminded Aziraphale how different he was. Every once in a while Crowley would show up with a flower that he insisted was too perfect to not give to Aziraphale, or he would leave some sort of note hiding between the pages of a book he was reading. Each one of these just served to remind Aziraphale how much of a wonderful boyfriend Crowley was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That thought caught in his head. Officially they haven’t discussed if they should give their relationship a title. Of course, Aziraphale would love nothing more than to be able to call Crowley his boyfriend, or partner whichever was preferred, but they haven’t broached that subject yet. One day they would, but for now he was happy with whatever their relationship status was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Aziraphale got everything set up downstairs, the doors opened and Crowley walked in. Aziraphale started to get into the habit of leaving the front doors unlocked when he knew that his lover was expected to come over. It probably wasn’t a smart move for a business, but it felt more polite. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So angel, what’s the plan.” Crowley sauntered into the shop and gave Aziraphale a big kiss which made him smile lovingly. “We could go to dinner?” He raised his eyebrows over those dark sunglasses. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was thinking of having a quiet night in.” He gestured to the small table which held the plate of snacks and a bottle of wine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley smiled affectionately. “Sounds wonderful.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale entwined their hands and led Crowley to the couch where he draped himself across the plush seats like a house cat or, rather, like a house snake, who knew his favourite place in Aziraphale's shop. To emphasise that even more, he kicked his feet on Aziraphale's lap and sighed as if he'd been waiting to do that the whole day. It made Aziraphale feel treasured that Crowley was perfectly content to just be together. He absentmindedly rubbed a hand across one of the black denim-covered legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even when there were long pauses in their conversation, it never felt awkward. They sipped wine and enjoyed the companionable silence that settled around them like a fleece blanket. It was sometime ago he noticed throughout their time together, even before they started dating, the two of them could talk for hours on end and truly enjoy the shared conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you never saw Romeo and Juliet. I thought you said you liked Shakespeare,” Crowley taunted, but there was warmth behind it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have seen Romeo and Juliet.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you’ve seen that old stuffy version. Not the good one with Leonardo Dicaprio.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, that garish movie that tries to be too hip.” Aziraphale took a rather large sip of wine. “It soils a wonderful story by covering it in tired american cinematography. I mean really, guns as swords?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s creative and modern.” Crowley crossed his arms in mock insult. “You just haven’t given it a proper chance. Next time you’re at my place, you’re going to watch it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I look forward to it.” Aziraphale smiled warmly and hoped that Crowley knew he wasn’t just talking about the movie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The snacks Aziraphale plated slowly disappeared as the hours flew by, although Crowley only took a few bites. But just as he was bringing a grape up to his mouth Crowley caught his wrist. He had to lean a bit forward so his mouth would be in close proximity to Aziraphale’s hand. It was mesmerising to watch how slowly Crowley’s tongue wrapped around the grape and brought it into his mouth. When he noticed that Aziraphale couldn’t help but stare, he smirked and cocked an eyebrow before leaning back and chewing the fruit triumphantly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually Aziraphale’s brain rebooted and he retracted his hand slowly. An idle thought passed his mind, and he decided to indulge it. He picked up a slice of a strawberry and set his wine down as he leaned in a little closer to Crowley. Aziraphale held out the fruit delicately waiting patiently for Crowley to take it. The smile that quirked Crowley's lips, however, promised nothing good. Nothing good for Aziraphale's heart, that is. He removed his sunglasses with a flourish, tossing them to the table, then delicately wrapped his lips around Aziraphale's fingers. His eyes stayed locked with Crowley’s, who looked at him with a mixture of deviousness and want. Without the safety of the sunglasses to hide behind, the whole charade felt more intense than before. With one final lick over Aziraphale’s index finger, he smirked and chewed on the fruit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even before he finished the strawberry, he took Aziraphale’s hand and placed small kisses along the side of it all the way to the wrist. He placed one last kiss on the pulse point there before leaning back on the couch. Aziraphale, on the other hand, was not ready for this to end just yet, so he removed Crowley’s feet from his lap and crawled on top of Crowley.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost instantly the confidence that Crowley pretended to have evaporated as they locked eyes. He looked up at Aziraphale almost like he was staring at a divine piece of art. Something fragile that would fall apart at the lightest of touches. But Aziraphale wasn’t. He wanted to feel Crowley’s hands run over his chest, tangle into his hair and pull. He imagined feeling Crowley’s fingertips digging into the thickness of his thighs, hard enough to leave bruises behind, making him gasp and ache for more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He crushed his mouth against Crowley’s and tilted his head to the side so they slotted together perfectly. Aziraphale’s tongue swept over his bottom lip and Crowley eagerly parted his lips in order to fully explore his lover’s mouth. With each passing second, the kiss became more passionate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale allowed his hands to wander over Crowley’s chest. He loved feeling the sharp edges of everything that was Crowley. His hand brushed over Crowley’s nipple which resulted in a contented sigh and Aziraphale lost all coherence. He wanted to hear more than just a sigh pour out of those perfect lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He straddled Crowley’s narrow hips and experimentally rocked against them. Crowley broke the kiss and threw his head back with a groan that sent something exciting down Aziraphale’s spine. He rocked his hips again, eager to hear whatever noises he could elicit from his lover. He allowed his hand to creep down Crowley’s chest and tease at the bottom hem of his shirt. Aziraphale leaned down and placed soft kisses along his neck, feeling Crowley’s breath quickening at the contact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale experimentally licked a strip up his neck and sucked at the pulse point lightly. Crowley shifted his hips below him seeking out a little more friction and encouraging Aziraphale to continue to move. Aziraphale happily obliged, granting the friction he so desperately wanted. At the same time, he pushed the fabric of the shirt up, allowing his hands to brush against the bare skin of his stomach and chest, causing the other man to shiver slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They resumed kissing and Aziraphale continued to rock his hips incessantly, feeling Crowley’s hardness through his all too tight trousers. The idea that Crowley was turned on and wanted him spurred Aziraphale into a more hectic action. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He deepened the kiss even more and ranked his fingernails down the front of Crowley’s chest. Crowley broke away from the kiss with a sharp hiss, but not of pain. His own hands were gripping Aziraphale’s hips hard enough they were in danger of leaving bruises. He could feel those fingers tremble, wanting nothing more than to caress and explore every piece of Aziraphale. Crowley didn’t allow it; not without permission. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel…” Crowley sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked wrecked from just the little they had done, his lips were red and slick with the evidence of the kiss they shared. His skin was flushed and eyes blown wide. Although lust was very evident on his face, Aziraphale could see the love and adoration held behind the golden color of the eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cleared his throat and tried to speak again. “Angel, I think we should stop… before… before… I mean, I don’t want to push you too far.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale ceased his movements. He looked down at Crowley and his heart swelled. Crowley cared so deeply, he was willing to end this just for the sake of ensuring Aziraphale wouldn’t do something he was uncomfortable with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if…” Aziraphale looked at the sight below him. There was no way he was ready to end this tonight. “What if I want you to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For heaven’s sake angel, you have no idea what you do to me.” Crowley smiled and pulled Aziraphale down to his level. He desperately crushed their mouths together, allowing his own tongue to lick and caress inside Aziraphale’s mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a flurry of movements, Aziraphale shoved his hands unceremoniously up Crowley’s shirt in a desperate attempt to remove it. Crowley had to lean forward but eventually the top was thrown to the floor. Aziraphale latched himself onto Crowley’s neck; kissing, sucking, and licking at every bit of skin he could reach. One hand brushed against his nipple, making Crowley groan and thrust his hips up. Aziraphale was really starting to enjoy how sensitive he was as he kissed down Crowley’s chest and licked the nipple he was caressing previously. The noise that escaped from Crowley was intoxicating. It was somewhere between a moan and a sigh, and Aziraphale wanted to see how many more noises he could get Crowley to make. He continued to put every ounce of effort into this task by way of lavishing his attention on that nipple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley ran his fingers into the blonde hair once again, and a pleasant sensation ran down his spine as nails scraped against his scalp, soft, appreciative moans escaping from Aziraphale’s lips. The fingers tightened causing Aziraphale to gasp at the sudden pull and his own cock pulsed with excitement. Eventually he was dragged up to meet Crowley’s lips again. It was now Crowley's turn to even the playing field. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pawed at Aziraphale’s clothes desperately. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he said against his lips. “How many layers are you wearing?” Aziraphale just chuckled fondly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just enough to make you work for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley’s face took on a look of determination as he yanked at the bottom hem of Aziraphale’s jumper quickly and pulled it over his head without warning. His eyes raked over the pale bare chest and he licked his lips hungrily. Aziraphale, on the other hand, started to feel a little self-conscious. His love of sweets was very evident on his body; he wasn’t lean and fit like Crowley was. Instead of a toned chest, he wore a soft belly. Without thinking, his arms moved to wrap over his stomach to try and shield it from view. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” Crowley’s voice was barely above a whisper. He reached out and brushed his fingers against the arms that hid the rest of Aziraphale. “Absolutely gorgeous angel.”  His hands slid up to tangle in his hair again and pulled Aziraphale down in a loving kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words of adoration gave Aziraphale some confidence. He removed his arms and leaned down into the kiss, shivering at the contact of skin against skin. Crowley was the one this time to place kisses along his jaw and neck. He was more gentle than Aziraphale had been.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me,” Crowley continued to give his attention to Aziraphale’s neck in terms of soft kisses. “What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” The choice wasn’t difficult to make. He knew that he wanted Crowley more than anything tonight. He just needed to voice this to reassure the other. “I want you dearest. I need you.” He was breathless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only response he got was Crowley rolling his hips upward, catching Aziraphale off-guard which resulted in him moaning at the sudden contact. That seemed to spur Crowley on even more and he dragged his tongue over Aziraphale’s neck, repeating it against the shell of his ear which elicited another moan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bedroom?” Crowley asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t just a request to change location. Aziraphale felt that it was Crowley’s way of ensuring that he still consented with the idea. He smiled and stood up, extending his hand to help Crowley up as well. His eyes fell to the hard line in Crowley’s trousers; without meaning to, Aziraphale blushed a little. He couldn’t quite believe that Crowley would have that kind of reaction because of him, he felt as if it was almost too good to be true, that someone as wonderful as Crowley actually wanted him. He allowed the smile to stay on his lips as Crowley pulled him up the stairs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In Aziraphale’s bedroom, Crowley knelt over him on the too-narrow bed, and kissed Aziraphale with renewed fervor. He let his hands wander down Aziraphale’s soft chest and eventually he pressed his palm against the hardness still trapped in his trousers. Aziraphale threw his head back with a groan and pushed his aching cock into Crowley’s hand seeking even more friction. Crowley smirked dangerously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A bit eager, aren't we?” he teased and removed his hand, leaving Aziraphale to make a frustrated noise at the loss of contact. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, I want you to touch me.” He barely recognised his own voice. They had done so little so far, yet he felt like he was starting to come completely undone. He felt soft fingertips drag lightly against his shaft, barely any contact at all but it drove him wild. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How exactly do you want me to touch you?” Crowley was obviously enjoying this chance to unravel him slowly. “I could use my hands… or would you prefer my tongue?” Aziraphale felt the blush rise on his cheeks and creep down his neck at the image of Crowley’s tongue on him. Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you wish for, angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale couldn’t do anything but nod, so Crowley smiled and made quick work of removing his clothes. The sudden exposure to the cool air of the room made goosebumps appear on his skin, but he felt much too warm as he felt the soft touches of Crowley’s hands grazing up the inside of his thighs. He watched as Crowley’s head ducked down and trailed kisses along the same path as his hands. Each time he felt the press of lips or the scraping of teeth along the inside of thigh, Aziraphale’s breathing would hitch and sigh. He felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of attention Crowley was lavishing him with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly he felt those nimble fingers wrap around his cock and slowly stroke down the shaft. Instinctively Aziraphale’s hips thrust up seeking out more, he moaned as Crowley continued his movements. The mix of lust and deviousness on Crowley’s face made Aziraphale’s heart speed up as he watched his lover lick his lips and descend on him. Aziraphale bit his lip hard enough to almost break skin as he was enveloped so completely in such a warm wetness, all thoughts scattered and Crowley deliciously took his time to worship him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Where the pressure and heat of his mouth disappeared, Aziraphale felt the brush of his tongue licking up the shaft and swirl around his head. He gripped the sheets tight at the sensation and gasped. Crowley continued his movements with determination. His tongue licked again, then he flattened it against the head of Aziraphale’s cock causing the other to shiver before it traveled down to take one ball into his mouth, sucking just enough to get more noises out of Aziraphale. His lips traveled up the length again and this time he closed his mouth around the head. His tongue continued to swirl, making Aziraphale moan loud enough to echo in the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In one quick motion, Crowley sank all the way down which made Aziraphale shout at the sudden sensation of feeling his entire member engulfed in his hot mouth. Crowley had to hold his hips in place since Aziraphale was having trouble holding back from thrusting blindly into the wet heat. He moved his head back up and sucked. The sounds that were pouring out of Aziraphale were not intentional and couldn’t be stopped. He squeezed his eyes shut, reeling in the pleasure that overwhelmed him as he felt his orgasm pooling in the pit of his stomach. He reached out and tangled his hands in the deep red locks, and tugged slightly, pulling Crowley off. He didn’t want this to end too quickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sight of Crowley’s shiny lips and hazy expression was almost enough to make Aziraphale come on the spot. He looked wonderfully debauched, and Aziraphale pulled harder, bringing him up for a sloppy kiss. He was very aware that Crowley was still a few articles of clothing too dressed which certainly wouldn’t do. He quickly unbuttoned Crowley’s trousers and tugged at the unyielding material. It seemed to be far too tight and uncooperative in its removal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley made a showy performance of wiggling his hips to strip his trousers and pants all in one go. Aziraphale took in the sight of Crowley’s erection; it was absolutely stunning, the head was red and swollen in its denial of any pleasure up to this point. Crowley, who seemed to bask in Aziraphale’s attention, bit his lower lip as he smeared the precome on his fingers before he started stroking himself. Aziraphale watched with rapt attention, and he contemplated mirroring Crowley’s own movements. But before he had a chance to move his hand further than his own stomach, Crowley crawled back onto the bed and over Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He placed his thumb on Aziraphale lips, the rest of his fingers wrapped under his chin. His tongue darted out to touch the thumb lightly, Crowley’s bitter taste much more apparent now. He wrapped his lips around it and sucked lightly; he wanted so much more than this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley removed his hand and kissed him. His tongue plunged into Aziraphale’s mouth, chasing his own taste. With a slight shift of hips, Crowley brushed himself against Aziraphale causing a sharp intake of air from himself and a moan from the other. He repeated the action again making Aziraphale sigh pleasantly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Growing more bold, Aziraphale grabbed onto his and Crowley’s erections in one hand. He stroked them together sending pleasure coursing throughout his entire body. Crowley buried his head into the crook of Aziraphale neck and panted at the sensations he was experiencing. Aziraphale stroked vigorously reaching the end of his patience and enjoying the way Crowley was barely hanging on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes, Crowley had to grab onto his hand to cease all movements. It was all starting to become too much, Aziraphale could see it in his eyes. They both slowed a bit, breathing starting to steady out just slightly, but neither moved from this position. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear boy,” Aziraphale breathed a whisper in his ear. “I want you inside me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ngk…” Crowley tried to respond but found he was not able to form words. He slowly pulled himself up and made eye contact with his angel. “Are you absolutely sure?” Aziraphale smiled and nodded. He was more sure of this than anything else in his life. That wicked smile appeared on Crowley’s face again. “Who am I to deny your wish?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale shifted slightly to reach into the drawer of his nightstand next to the bed. He removed a recently-bought bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. He dropped them on the bed and Crowley raised his eyebrows in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Been planning this, angel?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps,” Aziraphale shrugged nonchalantly, as if they were talking about the weather.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I guess I should follow your great plan then?” He reached for the lube and popped the cap open. Before pouring out the not-quite liquid, Crowley looked as if he had an evil idea. “Turn around angel.” He spun his finger in a circle to drive the point home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale was a little disappointed he wasn’t going to see Crowley’s face for the first time, but obliged him nonetheless. He could hear the contents of the bottle being poured onto Crowley’s hand, the slick noise of it being spread onto his fingers. The first soft touches of those fingers roamed down the cleft of his cheeks, and Aziraphale felt the sensation rush to his cock. It was starting to leak against the sheets of the bed, but he didn’t care. Those fingers pressed harder against his skin, the index finger brushed against his hole making him moan and shift back slightly against it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should probably warn you,” Crowley’s voice drifted from behind him. “I have a bit of oppositional defiance. When I see a great plan, I’ve got to find a way to throw a wrench in it.” Just before Aziraphale could respond, he felt a soft, wet sensation brush against his hole. It definitely wasn’t the finger he was expecting. With a yelp at the unexpected feeling he jolted forward, knocking his head into the headboard. “Oh shit, angel. Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell was that?” He ignored the bump on his head and craned his neck to look back at Crowley whose face held an expression of concern. When he saw that Aziraphale was okay, he let his tongue slowly flick out against his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you prefered my tongue?” Aziraphale felt his skin prickle all over as the blush quickly appeared on his face and down his chest. He wasn’t prepared for something like this, actually this was not something he had ever done before. The smile fell from Crowley and he looked slightly ashamed. “I’m sorry angel, I should have asked first. I can stop.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Aziraphale’s overeager voice surprised both of them. “I mean, you don’t have to. I just wasn’t prepared, that’s all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley ran his hand up Aziraphale’s spine. He pressed himself close and placed light kisses between his shoulder blades. He leaned back and let his fingers explore a little while longer. After just a handful of seconds, Crowley’s tongue joined in the exploration. Aziraphale could feel the tongue lick against his hole, one finger joined in and gently prodded at the tight ring of muscles, and Aziraphale relaxed, allowing the intrusion. He moaned when Crowley’s finger breached his tight ring of muscles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tongue continued to work, licking against the hole around the finger. He moved the finger out and pressed it back in, causing Aziraphale to quicken his breathing. After a few more minutes repeating the movements, Crowley pulled out and replaced it with two fingers. He worked them in and out while Aziraphale moaned and leaked more precum onto the bed, creating a small puddle of wetness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale rocked back slightly to meet the movements of the fingers. The burning stretch of the muscle was easing up and being replaced with pleasure. Crowley scissored his fingers deep inside Aziraphale, opening him up wider and causing his knees to shake. He could feel the wet, sinful tongue slide in between the fingers exploring as much as it could reach. Aziraphale pushed back wantonly against the intrusion. He was no longer able to regain his breath nor was he able to remain quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fingers deep inside him crooked slightly brushing against his prostate, overwhelming him. His cock twitched as he cried out, the rush of endorphins pooling in his stomach. Crowley repeated the movements again, causing Aziraphale to completely lose it. The head of his erection brushed against the mattress with just enough friction to make him shout out. Crowley added a third finger, and it burned slightly, but it quickly dissipated and was replaced by pleasure. The assault on his prostate was starting to become too much. He tried to speak, but his voice was broken. He tried again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley.” His voice was wrecked. Crowley halted his movements, but didn’t remove his fingers. “I think that is quite enough.” Aziraphale could hear the sharp command of his own voice. “The next thing I feel, better be your cock.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley removed his tongue first and kissed Aziraphale’s arse cheek softly. Aziraphale craned his neck slightly. Crowley's eyes looked dark, much darker than they ought to have been. He bit his lower lip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A bit bossy, aren’t we?” His voice was lower than normal as well. “We’ll have to explore that one later.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started to remove his fingers, but at the last second pressed them inside one last time, making Aziraphale shiver and moan. Aziraphale was about to say something to the defiant bastard but left it alone when the fingers were pulled completely out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Condom and lube were opened in quick succession, and then Crowley was pressing against his open hole, sending a wave of anticipation down Aziraphale's spine. Fingers gripped on either side of Aziraphale’s hips as Crowley pushed in achingly slow. The pain was a bit more intense this time, but it paired with pleasure rushing through his entire body. He wanted so badly for Crowley to be inside, he couldn’t take how careful and slow he was being. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale pushed back, forcing Crowley’s cock down to the root and Crowley made a particular sound which had pleasure and satisfaction melt and pool in the pit of Aziraphale's stomach. While fully sheathed inside, Crowley leaned forward and pressed small kisses along his back. He didn’t dare move until he knew they were both ready for it. Time passed by so slowly while Aziraphale waited for Crowley to do something. Growing a bit impatient he rocked forward and back, forcing Crowley’s cock to move. The sensation was wonderful as it spread throughout his body. Crowley groaned and sank his teeth into the flesh at the juncture of Aziraphale’s neck and shoulder. The contrast between the sharp pain elicited by his teeth and the feeling of his cock stretching him so pleasantly made Aziraphale moan so lewdly that his cheeks almost caught fire.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley purred into his ear as he rocked his hips softly making Aziraphale gasp. “You sound so lovely.” The thrusts were shallow, but they quickly became stronger and shorter. “What sounds would you make  if I fucked you deeper?” He grinded into Aziraphale who was caught unaware and inhaled sharply. “What if I fucked you harder?” Crowley pulled out almost entirely and snapped his hips with much more force than before. Aziraphale’s arms gave out, he collapsed onto the bed with his rump still sticking up. This change in position and force made everything feel even more incredible. He couldn’t hold back the obscene moan. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was everything he wanted, to feel Crowley deep inside him, to feel the head of his cock brush against his prostate with every snap of the hips, to feel utterly undone by Crowley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that what you want angel?” Crowley stilled his movements, as if he was waiting for a sign. Aziraphale could feel the press of lips on his nape, making the small hairs stand on end and sending goosebumps across his body. “Anything you want,” Crowley whispered into his skin. “Just say the word.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale couldn’t find his voice. He wasn’t expecting such a thoughtful declaration to be made at a time like this. Even with all the excitement rushing through them, Crowley still was thinking about Aziraphale and his needs. He still found a way to show how much he cared for Aziraphale and his poor heart felt so full it was near bursting. No one had ever cared for him the way that Crowley did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Aziraphale pleaded. “I need you, Crowley please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel Crowley smile against his neck before continuing his thrusts from earlier. With each thrust the head of Crowley’s cock brushed against his prostate, making Aziraphale tremble. He felt very sensitive as Crowley’s fingers bit into the flesh of his hips. Those lean fingers gripped hard enough to leave marks behind but he didn’t care, not when the warmth of Crowley’s body blanketed him against the coolness of the air. Each time Crowley managed to hit that spot that made him see stars, Aziraphale’s cock leaked even more and pleasure ran throughout his body. The sensation of Crowley deep inside him was indescribable, all Aziraphale could do was tighten his fingers into the sheets of the bed and trust that Crowley would take care of him. Each snap of his hips brought Aziraphale closer and closer to the edge. He was so close he knew all it would take would be one touch from Crowley to push him over the tipping point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without warning, Crowley pulled out completely. Aziraphale whimpered at the loss. He could feel hands moving up from his hips to caress his back. Crowley draped himself over Aziraphale and whispered in his ear, “turn back around, I need to see your face. I want to see you as you come.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Happy to oblige, Azriaphale turned back to face Crowley who looked beyond ruined at this point. He reached out and brushed his fingers into the red hair that stuck out in every direction. Crowley’s lips were pink and kiss-bruised which only served to make Aziraphale want to bring him in again and lavish kisses across his neck, chest, and lips. So he did just that, pulling Crowley down and kissing him messily, letting his tongue explore his lover’s mouth. When they broke apart both had trouble trying to catch their breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley settled in between Aziraphale’s legs. He hooked his arms under Aziraphale’s knees and glided his hands over plump thighs and back to cup his behind. He didn’t think he could be more exposed than this, his arse open and ready for the taking. Crowley looked down hungrily and his tongue trailed across his lips, as if complemplating burrowing his tongue back inside Aziraphale instead of his cock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Crowley slid back in easily groaning deeply which sent a shiver down Aziraphale’s spine. He picked up the pace where he left off, snapping his hips quickly, the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoing through the room. He thrust as hard as he could muster and all Aziraphale could do was reel in pleasure at each snap. The sounds of Crowley breathing harshly and moaning in time with his movements brought Aziraphale closer. He dug his nails into the thick muscles of his back, pulling him close just enough for him to feel Crowley’s hot breath puff against his neck. He could feel Crowley place soft kisses along his neck, pausing to sink his teeth in just enough to make Aziraphale gasp and scrape his nails against Crowley’s back. That made Crowley hiss and increase his efforts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pleasure started to pool again as the brush of Crowley’s cock forced him closer to his release. Aziraphale reached up and tangled his hands into Crowley’s hair and pulled him down into a sloppy kiss. Crowley shifted his hips slightly, the new angle making his cock rub against his prostate once more. Aziraphale tossed his head to the side in a loud moan. Crowley immediately started trailing kisses along his newly exposed neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gorgeous,” Crowley nearly whispered. “You are beautiful like this angel. I…” Before he could finish his sentence he pressed his mouth against Aziraphale in a sweet kiss. “I…” Crowley shook his head and abandoned whatever he was about to say. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley continued to snap his hips, strong enough to make Aziraphale jolt further up the pillow until he had to throw an arm up to push against the headboard. Aziraphale’s cock was red and swollen as he started to come up on the verge of his climax. He was leaking all over his own stomach, but could do nothing more than gasp, moan, and clutch at the headboard under his fingers as he was brought closer and closer with each thrust. He didn’t even realise his eyes were closed, but eventually opened them to see Crowley staring down with adoration. Those golden eyes were almost enough to push him over, but not quite. He skirted the edge, but never got to his release just yet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley managed to move one hand in between them and closed it around Aziraphale’s aching member. He stroked in time with each thrust, the added sensation was too much and Aziraphale fell over that threshold, blinding white pleasure taking over. His release covered his own stomach and Crowley’s hand, his body shuddering through it all. Ecstasy coursed through his veins as he sighed contently. Pressing deep inside and gasping before collapsing on top of Aziraphale, Crowley came as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pair didn’t move, despite the sticky substance that was now covering both of them. They tried to steady their breathing. After a few moments, Crowley pulled out of Aziraphale, both gasping at the overstimulation. Crowley kissed Aziraphale lovingly before standing up and walking to the bathroom. He returned shortly with a small towel to clean them both up with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tossed the towel vaguely in the direction of the laundry basket, much to Aziraphale’s dismay. Although Aziraphale decided it was too much effort to scold him on properly keeping the room clean. Crowley pulled off the soiled sheet and dropped it to the floor. He pulled the remainder of the blankets over them and settled in on his side, pressing his head into Aziraphale’s chest. He draped one arm across Aziraphale’s stomach and placed small kisses on the side of his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were amazing, angel.” He spoke in between kisses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As were you, my dear.” Aziraphale basked in the afterglow and loved the feeling of Crowley cuddling against him. It was a firm reminder that he was here to stay and wanted nothing more than to be right there with Aziraphale. “Although, what were you going to say earlier?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel Crowley tense up, but didn’t respond. Aziraphale wrapped his own arms around Crowley, pulling him impossibly closer. Eventually Crowley relaxed. “It was nothing, angel. Go to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale decided not to press the subject. He placed a chaste kiss on Crowley’s forehead and closed his eyes. He felt cared for and protected by this man and was happy to fall asleep wrapped up in each other.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>White Dittany symbolizes love and passion. It’s also is an aphrodisiac.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Orchids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They strolled leisurely through the park on a bright sunny afternoon because they both decided with the day being as perfect as it was, it would be a shame to waste it stuck inside their shops, so they closed a bit early. They didn’t talk much, instead enjoying each other’s company, and Aziraphale thought his life couldn't get any more perfect walking hand-in-hand with the most wonderful man he will, probably, ever know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They paused at the water's edge and watched the ducks swim back and forth, they seemed to have developed a liking towards Aziraphale and the bits of bread he always brought with him. He watched Crowley explain to the ducks that they didn’t bring anything this time. This was something he had seen him do with Eve as well and Aziraphale thought it was an endearing feature.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been almost three months since they began their relationship. Crowley had shown, in every possible way,  that he was a good person; even if he wouldn’t admit it, and Aziraphale was falling for him more so every day. He thought back to the little things that he did to show his love; picking out flowers and decorating the shop, but insisting it was just to add some color to his almost all tan and brown building, or when he would swing by with a treat he picked up at the bakery just because it was new and he thought Aziraphale might like it, or stopping by just for a quick kiss before having to open his own shop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All these little things added up and reminded him how much Crowley cared about him. Aziraphale had never had that in the past, there were never any small gestures of care from Gabriel. With Crowley though it felt so natural, not only being taken care of but returning the favor as well. Aziraphale would do everything he could to show Crowley he cared, even if it was just holding his hand while they walked in the park or kissing him when he said something particularly ridiculous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ducks eventually swam off, a bit upset with their lack of food, and Crowley met his gaze and smiled fondly. Aziraphale looked away quickly, pretending he hadn’t been caught staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they walked, Aziraphale was lost in thought. He loved any time he got to spend with Crowley. There was just something so right about it. He never had to put on airs to impress the other, Crowley liked him for who he was. Crowley never even hinted at a suggestion of change. It was so different than anything he ever experienced with Gabriel. It made him feel like he was cherished which was something that he didn’t know he had been wanting all this time. Something that he wanted to have for the rest of his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That thought caused him to trip over his own feet. Crowley helped steady him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything okay, angel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, dear.” He looked up and could see concern written all over Crowley’s face, his eyes locked onto Aziraphale’s face as if he was trying to figure out why he was unusually quiet. Aziraphale just smiled to reassure him. “Just lost in thought it seems.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nodded. “If you want to talk about it…” He left the sentence unfinished, but Aziraphale understood him anyway. He leaned forward and kissed Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually they continued and Aziraphale’s mind seemed to backtrack into his previous thoughts. Aziraphale knew that being with Crowley for the rest of his life was a possibility, but it didn’t seem so real until now. He realised that not only would he be happy spending the rest of his life with Crowley, but he actually wanted to. Crowley cared for him so much, he wanted him just for being him, and he did everything he could to make Aziraphale happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like a wave crashing over him, Aziraphale realised all at once — and a little overwhelmingly —  that he loved Crowley. He swallowed nervously as this feeling washed over him so completely. It wasn’t really like anything he experienced before. With Gabriel there had been no moment of clarity and he had never felt the love so perfectly as now. He just assumed because he was young and inexperienced, that his fondness was what love must have felt like. But he knew that the love he felt for Crowley could not be compared to anything he had ever felt in the past.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale clutched a little more at Crowley’s arm, who asked if he was doing okay once again and Aziraphale assured him everything was fine. It was much too soon in the relationship to be making grand declarations of love. He didn’t want to scare Crowley away. Eventually he would say these words to him, but not right now. He couldn’t possibly right now, when they were still figuring out everything in the relationship. Aziraphale tried to clear his mind and go back to enjoying the stroll, but was having a little trouble getting rid of the thought of love. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” Crowley was apparently not a mind reader and had no idea of the inner realization. “What should we do tonight? I can cook something at my place, although it may not be very good. Or we could see a show?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A show might be lovely.” The conversation gave Aziraphale something else to focus on rather than his incessant thoughts. “I think there is supposed to be a wonderful magic show tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, angel.” Crowley stopped and furrowed his eyebrows. “Magic? Really?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Aziraphale asked, he was actually rather surprised at Crowley’s comment. “I enjoy magic shows, I actually learned a few things myself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley’s mouth hung open in surprise. “You were not… oh god! You were?” Crowley smirked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not what?” Aziraphale asked flatly, he was not amused by that smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A magic kid.” All Aziraphale did in return was look confused. “You were, weren’t you?” He chuckled slightly. “You learned all sorts of </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘magic’</span>
  </em>
  <span> as a kid. I bet you put on shows too, had a top hat and cape, huh? I bet you were adorable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale blushed a little but couldn’t say anything back because he was correct. Aziraphale did, in fact, have a top hat— that he could pull a rabbit out of, thank you very much— and a cape to complete this aesthetic. He attended magic summer camp for three summers in a row and insisted that he was going to become a magician when he grew up. Luckily, that childhood fantasy didn’t happen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'll have you know that I did become really good at sleight of hand.” Azirapahle responded huffily. “Watch this.” Crowley groaned when Aziraphale pulled out a coin. He vaguely remembered his routine from his youth and showed off his very rusty skills. He made the coin appear and disappear behind his hands, which Crowley just shook his head at and rolled his eyes behind his dark glasses. Aziraphale made a very showy performance of pulling a coin out of Crowley’s ear with a cheesy smile plastered on his face. Crowley just turned and shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's a good thing I love you angel, or else I would walk away and you might not ever see me again.” Crowley took a few steps forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale just stared at the other man, the coin slipped from his fingers and the clattering sound must have drawn Crowley’s attention. He turned back with a look of confusion. Aziraphale, however, was barely even breathing, his heart was beating a mile a minute. Those words echoed through his mind again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘It's a good thing I love you…’</span>
  </em>
  <span> Crowley didn’t even mean to say it, it just slipped out. Aziraphale realised that it was the first time anyone had ever said that to him. Four years in a previous relationship apparently was not enough to warrant hearing such a thing, but three months and a terrible magic trick was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You… what?” He barely managed to squeak out that much. It was then that Crowley seemed to replay the conversation in his head and his face went from confused, to realisation, to panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley inhaled sharply and opened his mouth to say something, but almost in the same breath he seemed to change his mind and snap his mouth closed. “Well…” He drew out the word longer than necessary, as if giving his brain time to think of something. “I mean…” He looked like he was about to run away and pretend this never happened. Aziraphale stepped forward and threw his arms around Crowley. He placed a soft kiss on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed wrapped up in each other until Aziraphale decided to drag Crowley back to the bookshop just so they could continue declaring their love without drawing a crowd at the park. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as life started to take some massive steps forward for Aziraphale, it decided to dredge up the past and take a few steps backward. Aziraphale was in the middle of watering a few of the flowers and plants that Crowley had started to store among the shelves of books over the past four months when the bell jingled, indicating a new customer had arrived. He knew it couldn’t have been Crowley, he had said he had to stay open to make some type of profit. He turned to greet the customer and his heart dropped out of the bottom of his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel stood in the doorway with his perfectly pressed suit, immaculate cut hair, and fake smile that made Aziraphale’s skin crawl. Just a few months ago, he might have been glad to see this man enter the shop, but now he was the last person on Earth he ever wanted to see. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel?” Aziraphale placed the watering can down roughly. “Why are you here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean, why am I here?” Gabriel looked confused and shrugged. “When I am in town, I always come see you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I believe I made myself clear about my feelings regarding us last time we saw each other.”  Aziraphale’s tone was harsh and this time he meant it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale,” Gabriel shook his head and walked forward to the other man. “I know what you said last time. But I assure you, you were just nervous about making such a big decision. I figured I’d give you some time to think things over and allow you to come to your senses. I knew you would get over it eventually.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Aziraphale spoke sternly. “Sorry you wasted a trip to come here, but I have no intention of leaving.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel just raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Where did you get this courage all of a sudden?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t keep showing up every few months and expect me to uproot my entire life on a whim just because you say so.” Aziraphale was actually raising his voice, it was everything he wanted to say throughout their entire time together but was too afraid to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale, you are obviously going to move. You know you could never do any better than me.” Gabriel narrowed his eyes. Evidently, he was not pleased with the direction their conversation took. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, I already am.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel tilted his head back and laughed. “Really? You decide you want to throw everything between us out the window because you have been dating someone for, what, a few weeks? Months?” Gabriel stalked over and looked down at Aziraphale. “Is it that Crowley guy?” He sneered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale crossed his arms over his chest and glared. “I don’t believe that is any of your business.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, you managed to bag someone out of your league. Congrats,” Gabriel shook his head. “What are you going to do when he leaves you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale wanted to step back, he seemed to be rooted in the spot momentarily when those words came out. “He’s not going to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel cut him off abruptly. “Just because you managed to get a pity fuck out of him doesn’t mean he’s going to stay.” Aziraphale wanted to say something against it, but honestly this was his biggest fear, that Crowley would leave. He would wake up one day and realize that there was someone better out there and break things off. “I’ve seen the man, Aziraphale. He’s way too attractive to be with you. Look at yourself,” Gabriel gestured towards Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a new resolve Aziraphale shot a glare at him. He was done listening to everything Gabriel had to say to him. For years he put up with criticism thinking that was how love was supposed to be. But now he’s had a chance to experience the real thing, what love should be like. Crowley’s love was a shining beacon, it helped Aziraphale find himself against all the darkness forced onto his mind by how Gabriel treated him. There was no way something so sincere could ever fade, no matter what Gabriel said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you should leave.” Aziraphale kept his voice even.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel looked at him with a fire in his eye that Aziraphale had never seen before. It gave him pause, instinctively he stepped back worried what would happen next.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t get to tell me no, Aziraphale.” Gabriel’s voice took on a dark tone that Aziraphale had never heard before. This was not the man he knew, this was someone else, someone truly terrifying. For the first time in his life Aziraphale actually felt like Gabriel would reach out and hurt him. He swallowed before attempting to regain control over his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave my shop Gabriel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> it your shop now?” Gabriel took a few steps forward, Aziraphale shrank back and hit a wall much sooner than anticipated. “‘Cause from what I hear, you’re only </span>
  <em>
    <span>leasing</span>
  </em>
  <span> your shop.” He smiled at Aziraphale much like a predatory cat who was just toying with it’s next meal. “It would be a shame if someone contacted the bank and made an offer that no one else could match.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t dare…” Aziraphale was horrified at the idea that Gabriel would threaten to buy his shop just out of spite. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gabriel shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? This place is barely hanging on, might as well level it and start from scratch. It would barely cost me a damn thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale felt ice run through his veins. This was his shop, his home, his dream. Just like that, Gabriel was threatening to rip it all away. What could he do? He was barely making enough money right now to cover his own expenses, he didn’t have nearly enough saved to try and open elsewhere. Not to mention he would be out of his home with nowhere to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, I don’t need to.” Gabriel closed the remaining distance between them. He reached out and took both Aziraphale’s hands within his. “Not if you come with me. Everything I promised earlier, it still stands. All you need to do is move to New York with me, if not…” He let the sentence hang, just a reminder that Aziraphale really didn’t have a choice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without warning Aziraphale ripped his hands from Gabriel as if touching him could actually burn. “You need to leave!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sunshine, wake up.” He curled one hand under Aziraphale’s chin and forced him to make eye contact. “I’m giving you one last chance. You either come with me, or you lose everything.” After a moment, he dropped his hand and walked over to the counter. Aziraphale let out a shaky breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Here is where I’m staying in town. I expect you to be there tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that Gabriel turned on his heels and walked out of the shop, letting the door slam closed on his way out and leaving a piece of paper with neat, perfect handwriting on the counter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only thing that could be heard throughout the shop was Aziraphale’s ragged breathing. It seemed like his heart was only now able to start calming down. He took a deep, steadying breath and tried to get his nerves to subside. On the exhale, everything cracked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The air caught in his lungs and he ended up releasing something closer to a sob. Without thinking, Aziraphale’s arms wrapped over his own chest and fell to his knees. The feeling of disgust washed over him. He was disgusted with himself for not standing up to Gabriel earlier. He allowed himself to be dragged along thinking he was clinging to some type of promise of love. Now it felt as if everything he knew before had been built on a lie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to calm himself again but it was futile. There was really no choice, obviously he would never pick Gabriel, so he had to resign with the fact that he was going to lose his dream. Everything he wanted in life was going to be gone. His imagination started to run wild thinking of what his life would be like without the shop. What would Crowley say?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That thought seemed to sober him up more than anything. For the first time in his life, Aziraphale realized he was not entirely alone. He had someone to stand by his side. Aziraphale straightened his clothes out before he rushed out of the shop with only one thing on his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only took a few seconds to cross the street and enter Crowley’s shop. There was a mixed smell of flowers that seemed to be permanently etched into the shop. Aziraphale inhaled and instantly started to feel a bit calmer. It always reminded him of Crowley and the feeling of love washed over him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley was in the middle of arranging a vase filled to the brim with pink and blue flowers of different varieties. He looked up immediately when the bell on the door chimed and broke out in a bright smile as if nothing made him happier than seeing Aziraphale. Although he must have had a terrible expression on his face because Crowley’s smile dropped in a split second quickly being replaced by worry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Tears pricked in his eyes, but he blinked them away. He wanted to stay strong, but when he tried to explain what happened, he choked on the words. It was all too much. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Crowley inhaling the familiar scent and trying to focus, instantly he started feeling better being cocooned in Crowley’s arms. They didn’t say anything for a few minutes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel was here.” Aziraphale finally managed to say that much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley stiffened around him and Aziraphale held his breath; that probably wasn’t what he should have said first. Of course Crowley would get mad that his ex had been there. He would probably get upset and shout. Aziraphale was ashamed for not thinking about what he was going to say to Crowley beforehand.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, Crowley’s arms only tightened more around Aziraphale. He placed a few kisses along his temple and down the side of his face leading to one placed lovingly on his lips. They pulled apart just enough for Crowley to pull Aziraphale’s head back against his chest again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s going to buy the shop out.” Aziraphale tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but failed miserably. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay angel,” Crowley started to move his hand, gently caressing Aziraphale’s back. It was comforting and slowly he could feel his nerves starting to subside. “Tell me everything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that request Aziraphale broke down the entire story. He explained what happened in the shop and Gabriel’s threats. All Crowley did was listen, ask a few questions in some spots, but mostly he held Aziraphale. Just being embraced by Crowley helped more than anything. A sense of calm filled Aziraphale. The more he soaked up the warmth and love that Crowley offered, the clearer his mind could become. He was eternally grateful to have such a wonderful person make him feel better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bastard,” Crowley seethed when Aziraphale finally finished. He released Aziraphale enough to look him in the eye. “We’ll figure something out. Together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Together?” Without even thinking Aziraphale asked the question. Of course, he knew that Crowley would want to help, but the declaration that they were in this together was not something Aziraphale expected. His chest felt too tight and his eyes started to sting as he tried to brush away the tears before they fell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course together!” Crowley said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “No matter what happens, we’ll be together. We can find a new place or just go off together. As long as I am with you, I don’t care what we do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-” Aziraphale wanted to say something more, but found his voice left him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In this moment, he felt as if everything could be alright, even if the world came crashing down around them everything could still be okay. With Crowley by his side they could take on anything. He pulled back enough to look at Crowley. Instead of talking, Aziraphale captured his lips in a kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they broke apart, Aziraphale felt like his energy renewed. They could face Gabriel, and no matter what happened they would still be together in the end. He smiled widely as an idea started to form in his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to call the bank first, see if I may be able to explain the situation to someone. Not sure who though.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I can make calls to my, er- ‘friends’. See what I can do.” Crowley placed a kiss on his forehead. “We won’t let Gabriel win.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should hope not, my dear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reluctantly, they pulled apart and each set out with a plan. With a feeling of righteous indignation, Aziraphale stormed over to his shop and crumpled the piece of paper Gabriel left on the counter. He tossed it into the trash bin, walked over to the door and flipped the sign to ‘closed’. He had some phone calls to make, he would be damned if he was going to lose this place without a fight. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Orchids symbolizes love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Dahlia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The dim sunlight shone into the backroom of the bookshop. Aziraphale lost track of time, he had spent a good portion of the last couple of hours on hold on the phone. He probably talked to every person who worked at the bank, trying to explain the situation, but no one seemed to care. Sure a few people took pity on him, they said a few kind words, but ultimately no one could help him. They all said the same thing, if someone could buy out the shop and he couldn’t match the price then he would have to leave. It didn’t feel right to borrow money from others, of course he really didn’t have anyone else except for Crowley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After he hung up for the final time, Aziraphale sat on his couch in the back room and opened a bottle of wine. He hoped for some type of miracle to help him, but nothing happened. Instead he just failed at trying to save something so important to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale didn’t even bother to get a wine glass, he drank straight from the bottle and got lost in his own thoughts. Soft footsteps echoed in the room and Aziraphale looked up to see Crowley standing in the doorway. He realised he must have never locked up the shop or else he wouldn’t be standing there with a worried expression on his face. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, a habit he developed when it was just the two of them, and Aziraphale loved how much trust was placed in him with just that one simple act.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley took up space next to Aziraphale on the couch and he slid his fingers through Aziraphale’s own, squeezing them in reassurance. The silence sat heavy between them, but Crowley’s presence was enough of a comfort that Aziraphale didn’t mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Any news?” Crowley ventured to ask. He kept his tone calm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” Aziraphale passed the bottle over to him. Crowley took a large swing. “Anything on your end?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Won’t know till morning.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence crept up again. The only sounds that could be heard in the shop was the tapping of fingers on the wine bottle before Crowley passed it back and the squeaking of the couch every time they shifted in their seats. Aziraphale couldn’t help but let his mind replay the interaction from earlier today. It seemed like everything in his life was going to hell and there was nothing he could do about it. His eyes looked around the backroom of the shop, the one place he always felt so safe but now he would no longer have that. There would be no more getting lost in his favorite books in his armchair, no more restoring old books at his desk, and certainly no more drunken nights with Crowley on this couch. Tears started to well up at that thought that he would no longer have this place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I going to do?” He asked absentmindedly not expecting any type of answer. With a glance at his prized books lining the room, he realized he still had contact information of people willing to purchase his first editions. There was a possibility if he sold enough of them, he could raise the money to purchase his shop but that would probably take too long. By the time he reached out to those people and started the process of price negotiating Gabriel would most likely have already purchased the shop. Not to mention that they would probably sense the desperation coming from Aziraphale which meant they could offer a much lower price than the books were worth and he would have no choice but to accept. He sighed at the thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can stay at my place,” Crowley brought their laced hands up and placed a gentle kiss on Aziraphale’s knuckles. “If you like.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Words failed Aziraphale as he looked over, his emotions swirled together. Crowley was so kind and wonderful, he could have easily left Aziraphale to figure this out on his own, but he refused. He was trying everything possible to save the shop, staying steadfast with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first emotion Aziraphale could start to pinpoint was shame. He was going to lose the shop and his home all because he was too weak and caved in to Gabriel for months. Now he was going to become jobless and homeless in one fell swoop. There was no way he could put Crowley through all of that. He couldn’t place that burden on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Those words slipped out of Aziraphale before he had a chance to think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley released his hand and wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s shoulders. He pulled Aziraphale into his chest and left a warm kiss on his temple. “There is nothing to be sorry for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted to explain what he was feeling, but when he tried to open his mouth again, nothing came out. All his thoughts swirled around each other, trying to explain how much he loved Crowley, but also apologize for being this pathetic mess, and how upset he was by the unexpected threat from Gabriel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As his mind replayed the interaction with Gabriel again, the pity he held for himself soon started to be replaced with anger. The first thing Gabriel had tried to do was to convince him that Crowley would leave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although the pain of Gabriel’s words had started to heal a long time ago, it still brought Aziraphale back to a time when he didn’t know any better. Back to when he and Gabriel first started their own relationship, the happiness he felt made him feel like he was the only person on Earth who mattered, but simultaneously Gabriel’s words would pull him down and rip him to shreds. He would be left aching, broken, and crying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Years of those insecurities were instilled upon him by Gabriel, echoing in his mind until it suddenly cried out to him in his own voice. A mantra forced upon him until he believed it to be the only truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even now, his own mind would betray him and fill with thoughts that Crowley would leave. Gabriel mentioning this only served to make that thought feel more real. It gnawed at his mind until nothing but worry was left. He worried that Crowley would eventually get tired of him and leave, or perhaps someone who was far more attractive and up to date on modern fashion would catch his attention. It wouldn’t be long before Crowley would realise what a mistake he was making by dating Aziraphale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course that was wrong. He knew that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley had shown him so much over these past three months that he truly and utterly cared for Aziraphale. He never did anything that Aziraphale wasn’t comfortable with, never pushed any further than Aziraphale was willing to go, and certainly never hinted for any type of change from Aziraphale. It was obvious that Crowley truly loved him. There would be no way that he would leave, he was foolish for listening to the abuse spouted by Gabriel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Abuse. The word sat heavy on his mind. He never really thought of it as such, but there was no other way to describe it. When they were together, he chalked it up to Gabriel’s personality but now it seemed much different. Gabriel always put him down whenever possible, he convinced him to do things he was uncomfortable with, and he kept him isolated from any friends he could have had. Really, there was no other way to look at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s right, you know.” Aziraphale had a defeatist tone to his voice. Crowley didn’t say anything, probably because he had no idea what Aziraphale meant. “You’re too good for me. You are such a wonderful person, I don’t deserve you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course you do.” Crowley ran one hand through the short blonde curls and tightened his other arm posessively. “Have I ever told you why I call you angel?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A vague memory resurfaced in Aziraphale’s mind of a drunken night where that nickname slipped out and Crowley mumbled some excuse about how angelic he looked before disappearing. He had thought that was the end of the story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angels are supposed to love everything and everyone, and you do just that. You care so deeply; you are kind, loving, and wonderful all at once. No one else has ever tried to get to know me for me. I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you.” He placed a kiss onto Aziraphale’s temple. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But there’s more than that. Angels are warriors too, and don’t even say you are not.” Aziraphale snapped his mouth closed over the protest that was clawing its way out. “You have such a tenacity to you. The way you stand against a particularly rude customer, or how you’ll fight like hell to get your way. You’re a force to be reckoned with when you set your mind to it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And…” Crowley took in a breath and held on tighter making it almost impossible for Aziraphale to look up at his face. “You make me feel like I could be good. I’ve… I’ve never considered myself to be a good person, always a little bit shallow and I’m not particularly nice to people. But the way you compliment me, or even how you smile at me. It makes me feel like I could be, well, like I could be… good. And I would do it… for you, my angel” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale scolded himself for even allowing a moment of doubt. This was love. Complete and utter love. The kind that wars would be fought over, that poets would spend hours composing the most beautiful sonnets trying to capture a fraction of the devotion between them. This was what it felt like when two souls understood each other so well that it transcended more than words could ever describe. “You are so good, so wonderful. I love you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley kissed him deeply, all his words and emotions poured into that simple kiss. He moved one hand to rest along Aziraphale’s jaw and the other was buried in his soft blonde hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale broke at that moment. It was painful and wonderful all at the same time. He couldn’t explain it. The knowledge that Crowley would be there with him made him feel complete, like the last puzzle piece in his life just snapped into place. Basking in the warm glow of this feeling, Aziraphale melted even more into Crowley’s arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” He started but didn’t know how to take all his feelings and put them into words. “I’m sorry. I should have never thought you would…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you really think I would leave you?” Aziraphale wanted to say something against it, but didn’t know how to answer. Crowley leaned forward to press their lips together in a tender kiss. “That will never happen, you are mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Crowley looked at him made Aziraphale feel like he was the only person that mattered. He smiled softly and his wonderfully golden eyes were so focused on him, almost as if he worried that Aziraphale would disappear if he looked away. Of course he would be Crowley’s. He always would be. He grabbed the lapels of Crowley’s jacked and pulled him into a breathless kiss. He moved his lips against Crowley’s who parted his willingly. Aziraphale took that as an invitation and allowed his tongue to explore. Crowley reacted instantly, tilted his head and gave the other more access. He leaned back which caused Aziraphale to tumble over him on the couch; he wound up between Crowley’s thighs as they continued to kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale didn’t waste any time as he kissed along Crowley’s jawline and down his neck, pausing to suck slightly on the pulse point. Crowley sighed as if he was beyond pleased with what Aziraphale was doing to him. His nimble fingers found their way to Aziraphale's bow tie, undoing it before those long, clever fingers moved down to do the same with the first few buttons of his shirt. Now it was Crowley’s turn to place kisses along his neck and Aziraphale’s hands ghosted over his entire chest, brushing lightly over a nipple. The sudden intake of breath Crowley took made Aziraphale grind his hips. He could feel Crowley’s hardness pressing into his thigh and Aziraphale wanted nothing more than to feel the hot flesh pressed against his skin, or the weight of it on his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another roll of his hips and both men groaned at the flash of pleasure which shuddered through their bodies. Aziraphale reached beneath the hem of Crowley’s shirt and brushed against the soft skin of his stomach. The shiver that ran through his lover’s body made Aziraphale bite his lower lip. He loved watching Crowley’s reaction to everything Aziraphale could do to him, knowing that he was the reason for Crowley to feel such pleasure made him feel so significant, with that feeling he grinded down his hips just as Crowley’s were coming up to meet his. They both gasped and moaned as if they were teenagers making out on the couch for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” he breathed against Aziraphale’s neck, “I want you to fuck me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale pulled back and looked at him, lips kiss-bruised and small red marks across his throat. It was a beautiful sight, although he was having trouble focusing on this image splayed below him. His mind was fixated on those words. “Wh-what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You heard me, I want you to take me upstairs and fuck me until I can no longer think.” Crowley cocked an eyebrow and smirked at the stunned silence that answered him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I uh…” Aziraphale could feel a blush forming across his face; there was something he never told Crowley before. “I’ve um… never… you know.” He bit his lip in hopes of not finishing the sentence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Realization dawned over Crowley. “What? Never?” Aziraphale just shook his head. “Gabriel really is a bastard.” Aziraphale choked out a laugh, not expecting to hear that. “It’s okay, we only have to do what you are comfortable with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley kissed him passionately and Aziraphale parted his lips, allowing his lover's tongue to map out everything it could. He broke free and decided Crowley’s neck was just too tempting to be left alone. He kissed and licked at the skin, sucking hard enough to leave behind a small red mark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then Aziraphale panicked because he didn’t ask before if Crowley was okay with him leaving marks across his neck. After all those were terribly noticeable and he worried that Crowley would get upset. That moment passed quickly as he watched Crowley’s eyes flutter closed when his fingers reached out and pressed against the sensitive mark left on his neck, the smallest hitch of breath escaped Crowey’s lips and Aziraphale wanted to hear it again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More, please angel.” His eyes were hooded. “Please mark me. I want the world to know I am yours.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s mouth went dry at the thought that he would be allowed to leave reminders across his skin that would last for days. Without hesitation, Aziraphale stripped Crowley of his shirt and allowed his lips to ghost over his neck and clavicle. Crowley’s skin burned hot against Aziraphale’s lips as he pressed and sucked against every piece he could. A faint taste of salt danced on Aziraphale’s tongue as he licked a stripe up Crowley’s neck. The sounds that Crowley was making at his point were composing a beautiful melody of moans and gasps that made Aziraphale want to continue long into the night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Crowley was a pleading mess on the couch, Aziraphale grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Wordlessly, Aziraphale led him up the stairs and into his bedroom where Aziraphale’s hands found Crowley’s chest once more, soft fingertips brushing over his nipples and making Crowley gasp exquisitely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have been so patient with me dear,” Aziraphale placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Never pushing me farther than I was ready to go.” Another kiss along his jawline. “Never asking for anything… until now.” A kiss to his collar bone where the marks were starting to bloom bright red. “Tell me, what do you want dearest?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley swallowed, but hesitated in his response which was unusual for him, because he was quite vocal in bed usually. Especially when he was teasing Aziraphale. But now he looked almost afraid to answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you,” Crowley answered. “However you wish, I am yours.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale shook his head and tutted. “I do wish you would tell the truth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am,” Crowley protested. “Truthfully, I am yours.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not that,” Aziraphale crossed his arms over his chest. “You are lying by omission. You want something, but you’re not saying what it is.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley looked down slightly, as if the carpet’s awful and outdated pattern was trying to capture his attention. He nervously rubbed one hand down his arm as if trying to make himself a little smaller. “It’s nothing angel, not important. Whatever you want is fine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no way he was going to let this slide. This relationship was supposed to work both ways. If Aziraphale continued this, always prioritizing himself over Crowley, then he would be no better off than how Gabriel treated their relationship. He wanted Crowley to get just as much out of this relationship as he put in, which was quite a lot to be fair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley,” Aziraphale’s tone may have been sharp, but it wasn’t angry. He watched as Crowley snapped his full attention at him, his eyes widened a bit. “This can’t always be about me, I want to make this good for you, too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nodded quickly, which was a bit surprising given his refusal to say anything earlier. “That.” Crowley looked a little hopeful, but Aziraphale didn’t understand what he meant by it. “I want that… I mean, I want you to…” A small blush darkened the bridge of his nose and spread across his cheeks. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I want you to tell me what to do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Understanding dawned on Aziraphale. It made sense, Crowley was always the one to create their plans, he usually made decisions for both of them, he was always thinking of the next steps to make Aziraphale happy. It would be a change of pace if he wasn’t the one deciding… if he wasn’t the one in control of it all. Aziraphale licked his lips thinking of the possibilities and found that he was most definitely not opposed to the idea. With his own little smirk he decided to indulge in Crowley’s desires. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He placed his hand in the center of Crowley’s chest and dragged the fingers down until they came into contact with the fabric of his trousers. Crowley’s breathing sped up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Undress,” Aziraphale used the sharp tone from earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nearly whimpered, his hands flying to the button on his trousers and clawing the fabric off. All movements were fast, trying to obey Aziraphale’s command quickly. Eventually he stood completely naked in front of Aziraphale whose only evidence that he was involved was a couple of opened buttons and the loose fabric of his bowtie around his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lovely.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He placed his hand on Crowley’s chest once again and this time, when he dragged his fingers down, there was nothing to stop them from gently caressing Crowley’s erection. The feather touch made Crowley gasp and his arms and legs twitched alongside his soft, flat stomach, but he didn’t move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, my dear boy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A whimper escaped Crowley's lips and Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him, that was new. They both had pet names for each other; although Crowley only tended to stick with one, Aziraphale used quite a bit even though they all tended to fall along the same lines --my dear, my sweet, dearest, and so on. This name he didn’t use too often, but in this context it took on a whole new meaning. And Crowley seemed to enjoy this new meaning. He tangled his hands into the red hair and tugged slightly, making Crowley gasp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I to do with you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Crowley opened his mouth to speak, Aziraphale silenced him with a series of sloppy, open mouthed kiss. He allowed his hands to roam over Crowley, one toying with a nipple while the other grabbed his firm behind.  Crowley’s hips chased after Aziraphale in a desperate attempt to seek out friction, when they found it Aziraphale groaned and almost grabbed his hips to grind them together. But he stopped at the last second, pulling away quickly and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to keep Crowley from following. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t believe I said you could do that.” Aziraphale tried, really he did, to resume the tone that Crowley seemed to like before, but his voice sounded winded and strained. That small touch of contact was a little too overwhelming right now. He didn’t want to focus on him tonight, he wanted to lavish Crowley with as much love as he had shown him in the past few months. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear,” Aziraphale guided Crowley onto the bed and kneeled over him, starting to place soft kisses on the back of his hand and then down his arm. Crowley definitely looked affected by what Aziraphale was doing, if his flushed cheeks and laboured breath were anything to go by. “My sweet.” He paused when he reached his shoulder before placing a kiss underneath his ear. “My love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale,” The breathy way that Crowley spoke his name made Aziraphale want to continue. He wanted to keep going until all Crowley could do was chant his name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley, I want you to know how much I love you. You are so wonderful, my dear.” Aziraphale could feel himself smirk as Crowley squirmed, clearly he was not used to compliments. Perhaps he could try another route. “Although you do try my patience from time to time, always teasing me, finding ways to rile me up. Like the other day, when you just tossed my book to the floor. I had half a mind to lecture you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did lecture me, angel.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, and it obviously didn’t take since you turned around and did it again. I should have just pushed you against the bookcase and found another way to get the message across.” Crowley blinked slowly at him almost trying to process those words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If that’s what happens when I mistreat your books, I’ll be sure to do it more often.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale thought about fixing him with a glare, but he couldn’t muster it. Instead he used one hand to press Crowley firmly into the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He trailed a line of kisses down Crowley’s chest before taking his cock in a loose fist, giving it a few tugs that made Crowley moan. Yes, he wanted to hear more, more of the sounds that Crowley made when he was slowly losing control, those breathy gasps and surprised moans were delightful and Aziraphale would do anything to hear them again. Wanting to elicit more alluring sounds from Crowley, Aziraphale took the head of his cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Encouraged by Crowley’s moans, Aziraphale bobbed his head and took him deeper. He continued his quick jerks, stroking Crowley where his mouth didn’t reach. Fingers tugged forcefully at his hair, making him look up to see the beautiful sight of Crowley breathing hard and trying to steady himself. His eyes were filled with lust, he was probably teetering on the edge. With one more pull on his hair, Aziraphale rose up to meet Crowley in a messy kiss. Crowley didn't stop his hands from grabbing onto the fabric of Aziraphale’s trousers trying to remove them with haste. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Aziraphale caught both hands and pulled back slightly, so when he spoke, his lips brushed against Crowley's. “If you cannot control your hands, I may have to do something about it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley stopped breathing. Aziraphale leaned back a little further in order to see his face better, he wanted to make sure he wasn't crossing any lines. But Crowley’s eyes held only desire and lust, so Aziraphale took that as confirmation that what he was doing was digging under Crowley’s skin in the best way possible. It was an exhilarating sensation to be the one in control, he found he revelled in the power Crowley gave him, but also how affected Crowley was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was a first for Aziraphale, but if Crowley wanted it then he was going to give it to him. A quick scan around the room proved useless. He didn’t even have so much as a piece of string laying around that could be put to good use. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it, angel,” Crowley responded and pressed a soft kiss onto Aziraphale’s throat. “There’s always next time. Maybe we can get you out of these clothes now?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The idea hit Azirphale hard and he could feel a devilish smile pull at his lips. He reached up and pulled the untied bow tie from around his collar and held it out between his fingers. Crowley cocked an eyebrow in confusion at the faded material. It took a few seconds before Crowley understood and he rolled his eyes. “You seriously want me to wear tartan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear boy,” the name slid off his tongue like honey, “I do think this would look good on you.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Crowley may have rolled his eyes but Aziraphale could see a fond smile play across his lip. “How do you want me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale hummed in thought, several ideas flashed through his mind each and while he would have enjoyed any of them, nerves started to get the best of him. “I think I’ll let you decide. This is a bit… outside my expertise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could tie me to the headboard,” That image popped up in Aziraphale’s mind and had to bite his lip to keep from groaning. The thought of Crowley pinned in place while Aziraphale took his time worshiping every inch of skin was very appealing. “Although with just your bowtie I doubt it would work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if struck with an idea, Aziraphale moved behind Crowley and grabbed one thin wrist to pull it behind his back. With only one piece of fabric to act as a restraint there was only a limited amount of ways Aziraphale could do this. He reached for the other wrist and crossed them over behind Crowley’s back. Using his bowtie, he deftly secured Crowley’s hands behind his back, ensuring there was a neat little bow over his wrists. Crowley tested the tie, and while the fabric may have loosened slightly, it remained in place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this okay? I don’t want to hurt you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel, I don’t think you could.” Aziraphale embraced Crowley from behind as best as he could, one hand resting over Crowley’s heart. “I trust you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That simple phrase almost made Aziraphale back away. He knew there had to be trust between them, it was obvious from how Crowley acted, but this was something new. It was a declaration of how much faith he put in Aziraphale both inside and outside this room. No matter what path Aziraphale chose to take at this point, Crowley would always be there to support him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was too much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale pulled Crowley in close and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. What could he have done to possibly deserve this kind of love? He broke Crowley’s heart for months while making the idiotic descision to crawl back to Gabriel over and over, he had the audacity to get upset with him when Crowley broached the subject, and yet he was forgiven. Crowley had been there to pick up the pieces, to forgive him when he truly didn’t deserve it, and help him in his most desperate hour.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Letting out a shaky breath against Crowley’s skin, he tried to steady himself. Crowley had shown, several times over, that he loved Aziraphale. This kind of trust wasn’t something he should have been allowed to have, but Crowley was more than happy to hand it over to him. He could feel tears sting in his eyes as he was too overwhelmed to process this information properly. One day he would make sure to voice this aloud, but he couldn’t find the words right now. He would have to make do with showing Crowley how much this meant to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps taking this moment of silence for hesitancy, Crowley started to talk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it makes you feel better we can set up a system, y’know. We can use colours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I understand.” Aziraphale spoke, relieved for a change in focus. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Green means everything is good, yellow means stop and talk about things, and red stop completely. We can check in with each other or just stay our colors when we need to. That way if anything makes either of us uncomfortable, we’ll know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a slight nod of agreement, Aziraphale took in a breath before he spoke. “So if I were to tell you to kneel on the bed facing away, what would you say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Green.” The way Crowley spoke sounded almost like a sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gently, Aziraphale helped him onto the bed. They were still close enough that Crowley was able to lean back into Aziraphale’s chest. Of course, Crowley took full advantage of that. He leaned into Aziraphale, almost like a snake who found the perfect rock to bask in the sun on, and hummed pleasantly. Aziraphale petted Crowley’s hair, coaxing him to relax even more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He placed a kiss onto his temple. “My dear, you are so good to me. Would it be alright if I took care of you tonight?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel Crowley nod hesitantly, but he wanted more confirmation then that. “Is this the point where I could ask for your colour?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Green.” Crowley spoke with a hint of amusement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, love.” Aziraphale placed a few kisses along the side of Crowley’s face as he continued to drag his fingers through the soft red hair. “I don’t quite understand how I was able to get so lucky in meeting you. How I managed to find someone so caring and wonderful.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hush now.” He dragged his fingers even more into Crowley’s hair. The reaction was instant, Crowley leaned more heavily into Aziraphale, his head falling back onto a plush shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a kinder person, even if you pretend you're not. I still remember the first time we went to the park together. There was a small child crying over their ice cream that dropped, you bought them a new one without hesitation. Even if you did say it was just to get them to be quiet. It was so-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yellow.” Crowley tensed and Aziraphale stilled his hands, but didn’t remove them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This,” Crowley sounded stammered, the faintest blush appearing on his cheeks. “This is not sexy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I beg to differ,” Aziraphale spoke in an amused tone. “I find everything about you to be very arousing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley’s blush darkened and spread down his chest. He tried to stammer something, but Aziraphale couldn’t tell if they were actually words or just noises. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it is making you uncomfortable, I can stop.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just not used to it. It’s fine, maybe just speed it up a bit?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. Would it be alright for me to continue?” He waited until Crowley nodded before resuming running his fingers through his hair. When Crowley relaxed against him once more, he continued to talk. “If I had allowed myself to believe you cared for me sooner, that could have been the day I started to fall in love. I am thankful everyday you are in my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Crowley didn’t say anything else, Aziraphale trailed his fingers down his chest following the red shade of his blush. A trail of goosebumps erupted across Crowley’s skin as Aziraphale continued his featherlight touches. After some exploration time, those fingers brushed across Crowley’s nipple and the sound that escaped from his lips made Aziraphale remember his task for the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While his fingers continued to caress and map out every piece of Crowley’s chest, Aziraphale buried his face into Crowley’s neck and had to resist sinking his teeth into that perfect flesh when Crowley let out a particularly delightful moan. “My dear, I’m going to step away for just a moment to get some things. Please don’t move.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as Aziraphale removed himself from Crowley, he felt the loss of warmth like a knife to his core, but he knew it would only be for a few moments. He stripped himself of his clothes and made sure to collect the needed supplies before returning to the safety of Crowley’s warmth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, Aziraphale kneeled onto the bed behind him. He pressed up close against the other’s back, letting his legs take residence between Crowley’s and pressed small kisses at the juncture where his neck and shoulder met. Aziraphale squeezed lube on his hand and grasped Crowley firmly, pulling a sharp intake of breath from him. Crowley leaned back into Aziraphale’s chest allowing his muscles to relax making Aziraphale smile at how quickly he felt comfortable with Aziraphale. Just another reminder about how much trust he had in Aziraphale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s chest constricted as he took in shaky breaths, enjoying the way Crowley trembled against him when he began stroking him. He mouthed at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, tasting the salt of his skin and inhaling the all too familiar flower scent that Crowley always seemed to have. When Crowley rocked his hips back, nearly trying to grind his arse into Aziraphale’s erection, his movements faltered and a gasp escaped from his own lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear,” He breathed into Crowley’s ear and was pleased to hear Crowley take in a sharp breath at his voice. “You are quite impatient. Perhaps I should slow things down, see how many times I could bring you to the edge before allowing you to come.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley didn’t reply, but he stilled his actions. “Truthfully though, I would love nothing more than to see you strung out on pleasure, my name of the tip of your tongue, and bask in the afterglow of it all. Whether it be from my hand or my cock, I haven’t decided.” That was a lie, Aziraphale already knew what he wanted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sounds his lover made as Aziraphale resumed his motions, thumb grazing over the head of Crowley’s cock, fingers reaching out to graze his balls, were stunning. He drank all of that in, teeth scratching lightly at the pale skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aziraphale,” Crowley spoke his name as if it would bring him the salvation he so desperately wanted. “I am so close. Please…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, my dear,” Aziraphale whispered in his ear. He didn’t stop though. Aziraphale continued his movement, stroking Crowley quickly and firmly. He could feel Crowley start to tense up, his breathing was erratic. Aziraphale loved taking the time to appreciate everything about Crowley. Showing how much love and adoration he had for the other man. Allowing him to truly relax and let go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All too quickly, Crowley tensed and came. Every muscle pulled taut as he spilled over himself and Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale pressed a kiss into his shoulder and he continued to stroke Crowley through it, small spasms of the ecstasy rolling throughout his body. He kept Crowley upright when he nearly went boneless in his arms, using the towel nearby to clean up the mess he helped make.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley’s voice was broken and airy all at once. “That was amazing, not quite what I had imagined for tonight, but amazing nonetheless.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who said tonight was over?” Aziraphale smiled against Crowley’s skin and dragged one finger down his spine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spread his legs a little, pushing Crowley’s own legs wider as well. Aziraphale’s hand was still covered in lube, so he brushed one finger against Crowley’s hole. He hadn't expected that because Crowley took a sharp breath of air, his ring of muscles resisting the intrusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I plan on repaying you for every bit of kindness you have ever shown me.” Aziraphale kissed and licked Crowley's neck tasting the salt of his skin and enjoying the way it made him squirm against this chest. “Colour?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Green, angel. So fucking green.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley gasped when Aziraphale pressed a finger past his tight opening, and Aziraphale gently bit into the meaty part of Crowley’s neck. The small whimper that escaped from Crowley when Aziraphale sank his free hand into red hair and pulled, drove Aziraphale wild. To know that he was the cause of his pleasure was overwhelmingly good. He continued the motions of sinking his finger into Crowley and pressing back in and was delighted to hear Crowley moan so wantonly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even with his hands tied, Crowley couldn’t keep still. He rocked his hips back onto Aziraphale’s hand, his own fingers twitched and tried to touch as much of Aziraphale as possible. Crowley managed to scrape his fingernails against Aziraphale’s thighs, causing him to moan against his soft skin. This just made Aziraphale double his efforts on showering Crowley with pleasure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He continued to sink his fingers into Crowley, basking in the way his legs trembled as if it was too much trouble to keep him upright. Then a second finger was added and the way Crowley gasped made it hard for Aziraphale to focus. There were conflicting feelings in Aziraphale’s mind: the first one wanted nothing more than to continue making Crowley come until all he could feel was satisfaction coursing through his veins all because of his actions; the second was that he wanted to be buried deep into Crowley. He wanted to hear how Crowley would sound as Aziraphale sank his cock into him, how Crowley would twitch and move as Aziraphale rolled his hips bringing him up on a crescendo of bliss, but most of all he wanted to be connected with Crowley in a way he never had before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale wanted to press close into Crowley and never stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley on the other hand was starting to grow hard again. He rocked his hips back to meet Aziraphale’s fingers, gently fucking himself onto those angelic hands. Aziraphale hooked his fingers slightly, causing them to rub against Crowley’s prostate and make him shout out. He continued those movements until he could see Crowley was fully erect again, leaking precum. He continued his movements at a slower pace, enough to stimulate but not enough to complete the job at hand— as it were.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you angel!” He leaned back enough so his full weight was dependent on Aziraphale. “I need all of you. Just fuck me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no way that Aziraphale was going to say no. He quickly grabbed the bottle of lube and spread the substance on his cock, letting his erection brush against Crowley’s opening. He pushed his hips upward and slid in without hesitation. Aziraphale released a shaky breath being fully sheathed so quickly, and Crowley sighed and pushed his hips backward to make sure that Aziraphale was deep within him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sensation was all too overwhelming, being surrounded by Crowley so fully. He could already feel the pooling in his stomach forcing him to pause. He needed to focus completely on Crowley, he couldn’t allow himself to come just yet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that he was completely inside, it was too much and not enough simultaneously. He never wanted to move for fear it would end, but at the same time he wanted to pin Crowley down and fuck him hard, chasing his own fall over the edge while listening to the delicious noises that he could get Crowley to make.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The choice seemed to be made for him though. Crowley rocked his hips, as best as he could with the angle, and he almost pulled himself completely off only to sink back on Aziraphale's cock. Aziraphale moaned and his hands moved quickly to Crowley’s hips, stilling the motion. This was not how it was going to be, Aziraphale wanted to show Crowley how much he loved him. Crowley was not going to be the one to do all the work today. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale held tight onto Crowley’s hips and rocked his own out then upward into Crowley with as much force as he could muster. Crowley moaned which made Aziraphale want to do it again and again and again. He continued to move his hips, eliciting all sorts of delightful noises. Some were sighs or moans others were breathy whispers of his name— those were his favorite. He loved hearing how Crowley spoke his name, how he praised Aziraphale over and over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The angle was not the best for the amount of force that Aziraphale wanted to use, but this time was designed to make Crowley feel good. Aziraphale let one hand go from the hips and reached out to grab Crowley once again. He stroked to the same rhythm he was thrusting. The position must have been good for Crowley because he groaned and jerked his hips into Aziraphale’s hand. His arms squirmed behind his back, but he didn't grab the ends of the bow to untie himself. Perhaps Crowley secretly loved the idea of being tied and knowing he could get out of it anytime, but not doing it. The thin line between control and loss of it was getting to Aziraphale, too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale continued at this pace, although he increased the speed so Crowley was moving his own hips against Aziraphale. He rocked onto Aziraphale’s cock and back into his hand. Being dissatisfied he was not able to move the way he wanted to, Aziraphale released Crowley’s cock and used that hand to gently help Crowley lean forward at the waist. Crowley was fairly pliable at this stage and didn’t complain about his shift in position. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was bent forward, shoulders resting on the pillows since he was not able to use his hands as a buffer between him and the mattress. Aziraphale placed his hands back on Crowley’s hips and snapped his hips hard. Crowley yelped at the sudden movement, but the sigh that followed was all the encouragement that Aziraphale needed. Aziraphale snapped his hips once again, both moaning at the movement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale couldn’t get enough of how Crowley felt around him. Every movement sent pleasure coursing throughout his body. He continued thrusting into Crowley, causing him to cry out with Aziraphale’s name on his tongue. Crowley reached back with his tied hands as if searching for something, Aziraphale gladly obliged and reached one hand to grasp in-between the two tied ones. He held onto Crowley’s hands and waist and moved frantically, wanting to make this good. Every time Aziraphale pulled out and shoved back in, Crowley would squeeze his hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley was so very close again; he was going between cursing, praising Aziraphale, or gasping every time that Aziraphale’s cock thrust into him. Aziraphale picked up the pace again, thrusting his hips with all the force he could manage. With his arms tied, all Crowley could do was take it— something he proved to be very good at. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only took a few moments before Crowley squeezed hard on Aziraphale’s hand, he moaned loudly and tensed up spilling onto the bed for his second orgasm of the night. The muscles that surrounded Aziraphale’s cock spasmed and clenched around him. In a flurry of movements, Aziraphale snapped his hips hard and draped his body over Crowley’s. After taking care of Crowley twice tonight, he wanted to follow Crowley over that edge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thrust his hips unforgivingly into Crowley, who could only let out shaky breaths with each movement. Aziraphale let go and fucked into him hard, the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoing in the room. He could feel the familiar sensation pool around his lower stomach, he was getting close. He continued to thrust into Crowley allowing the passion to overtake him because Crowley felt so wonderful. It only took a handful more before Aziraphale came deep into Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All they could do was breathe. The silence of the room, now that they finished, was deafening. Aziraphale slowly pulled out of Crowley, both hissing at the over sensitive feeling. Neither moved from the spot, just allowing themselves to regain their breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley moved his head as best as possible to talk, “that was amazing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale just hummed in response. “It seemed though I may not have done my job correctly.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “Wha’da mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I belive I was instructed to ‘fuck you until you can no longer think’,” he parroted the words back to Crowley. “It seems like you are having no trouble thinking right now.” He tutted and shook his head. “I guess I should fix that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Crowley had a chance to ask for clarification, Aziraphale shoved two fingers back into Crowley. Crowley squeaked (in a very manly fashion, of course) at the unexpected sensation, he was already very sensitive from just finishing a few moments ago. He squirmed and writhed and Aziraphale used his fingers to massage his prostate. He rocked them in and out of Crowley who couldn’t do anything but moan against the intrusion. Aziraphale hooked his fingers deep inside Crowley’s and brushed against the magic spot that could get Crowley off again. He continued his movements until Crowley let out a guttural, shuddering breath and came on Aziraphale’s fingers once again and altogether dry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale helped him lay down on his side, his breath hitched with every movement until he was fully rested on the bed. This time he was not able to say anything, just breathe. Aziraphale pulled at the bowtie, allowing it to fall off completely. He grabbed Crowley’s wrist and placed gentle kisses onto the slightly red skin. The weight of Crowley’s arm was completely in Aziraphale’s hand, he was not able to muster enough strength to try and keep it up. Aziraphale continued to kiss every spot on his wrist before gently placing it on his side. He managed to free up the other hand and give it the same treatment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After quite some time of Aziraphale lavishing him with praise and care, their breathing started to even out. Aziraphale used one hand to rub small circles into Crowley’s back making him sigh and sink further into his hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How about,” Aziraphale leaned forward and placed a kiss on Crowley’s temple, right where the small snake tattoo was. “I draw a bath, clean you up a bit, and get into bed together.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley hummed his response. Aziraphale beamed a bit that he was able to actually accomplish the task Crowley set for him tonight. He ran his fingers through the soft red hair and smiled to himself. There was nowhere else he would ever want to be. His heart was filled and he couldn’t help but speak out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, my dear.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley reached out and grabbed onto Aziraphale’s free hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Love ya too, angel.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dahlia symbolizes staying true to one's life partner</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Sweet Alyssum</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Aziraphale woke to an empty bed— and the panic settled in like a hot air balloon ready to implode. Usually when Crowley spent the night, they would always wake together. Although he refused to admit it, Crowley was a cuddler. Last night they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, and Aziraphale expected to wake up in much the same manner. Unfortunately he was wrong. The bed was cold and the room was empty. </p>
<p>He stood and got dressed in a pair of slacks and a button up, just enough to be presentable, and headed out of the bedroom in search of Crowley. Luckily it didn’t take long. As soon as he opened the door, he could see his lover in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee and tea for Aziraphale. Crowley didn’t notice him at first, he was talking on the phone with someone, his shoulders hunched as if in worry. </p>
<p>“Alright, be here in ten.” Crowley nodded as if whoever he was talking to could see him. “I owe you big time, Beez.” Aziraphale walked closer but remained quiet, he didn’t want to interrupt the conversation. Crowley let out a laugh. “Don’t remind me.” With that he hung up the phone and placed it on the counter. </p>
<p>Crowley jumped as Aziraphale took this opportunity to wrap his arms around his middle. He pressed up close and just inhaled the pleasant flowery scent that always seemed to make him feel so much better. In response, Crowley placed his own arms on top of Aziraphale’s arms and leaned his head back.</p>
<p>“G’morning angel.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale hummed in response and tightened his grip, he didn’t want to make any commentary on the state of this morning. He had secretly hoped that last night would have never ended, not just because of how incredible it was, but because if last night never ended he wouldn’t have to face the turmoil of this morning. Mentally, he started to make plans of how to pack up his shop. He would probably end up taking up Crowley on his offer to stay at his place. Obviously it would be temporary, he still felt like it would burden Crowley if he was there too long.  </p>
<p>“I have a friend coming over.” Crowley twisted in his arms until he was facing Aziraphale. “We’ll see if they can help at all.” </p>
<p>“Thank you.” Aziraphale leaned forward and kissed him. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”</p>
<p> “Completely and utterly lost, destitute probably,” he joked. Aziraphale could only imagine the horrified look he gave Crowley since the smile was quickly replaced by panic. “Shit, ‘m sorry angel.” He started peppering kisses all over Aziraphale's face in an attempt to distract him. “That was a bad joke, ignore it. I’m such an idiot.”</p>
<p>Without meaning to, Aziraphale burst out laughing. Even though the melancholic aura still hung over him, just being around Crowley made everything better. Even when he was making a poor attempt at a joke. Crowley looked a bit taken aback at first, but after a few seconds he joined in laughing.</p>
<p>“Yes you are, dear. But I love you anyway.” </p>
<p>Eventually they separated, Aziraphale graciously accepted his tea, and they headed downstairs to the backroom to wait. They talked for a few minutes, drumming up ideas for what may happen next. By the time they finished their drinks, there was a knock on the shop doors.</p>
<p>Crowley was the one to open, Aziraphale following only a step behind him. Through the window he could see someone who was much shorter than he expected, especially with how cautious Crowley had been acting whenever he spoke about this friend. Aziraphale half expected someone who would tower over them. Between the suit they wore and the dark black hair that was cut short, Aziraphale couldn’t tell if they were a man or woman. Although they did look as if they had a permanent scowl etched into their face which made Aziraphale feel a little uneasy.</p>
<p>Crowley opened the door and the stranger walked in, eyeing the entire place. They had such confidence about them that Aziraphale couldn’t help but keep his attention on them.</p>
<p>“Lord Beelzebub.” Crowley gave a low bow. “Such an honor for you to grace us with your presence.”</p>
<p>“Crowley,” they said in a low, menacing voice. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”</p>
<p>“Sorry Beez, it just fits you so well.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t come here so you could insult me. I guess you must not need my help after all.” They shrugged and started back towards the door, but Crowley threw out his hands.</p>
<p>“No, wait,” Crowley pleaded. Beez turned back around with a dark smile. “Of course I still need your help. I’ll stop with the jokes.”</p>
<p>Beez hummed before quickly turning and making their way to the backroom. Aziraphale was a little startled at how easy they seemed to make themselves comfortable in the shop. By the time they followed into the backroom, Beez already had a stack of papers sitting on the table in front of the couch and they were reclined in the armchair as if they owned the place. Aziraphale looked nervously between them and the papers, perhaps that assumption wasn’t too far off. Maybe they bought the place before Gabriel could. Although he wasn’t sure if that would make this any better.</p>
<p>“Alright, Crowley.” They gestured to the couch and both of them sat without being told. Aziraphale’s heart speed up, anticipating what may happen. “I have some good news and bad news. Good news is that the manager of the bank that owns this place owed me quite a few favors, and I also had some information about them they didn’t want to get out. So with just a bit of creativity and arm twisting, I was able to get a good deal on this building and a guarantee that no one else could buy it out.”</p>
<p>“That’s great, Gabriel can’t buy something that's not for sale.” Aziraphale started to smile. He would have to see how much he had in savings in order to buy this place, but he was certain he could manage something especially if he didn’t have to compete with Gabriel.</p>
<p>“Bad newzz.” There seemed to be a slight buzz when Beez spoke, but they recovered quickly. “I bought the place.” Aziraphale’s heart sank. It seemed like they were out of the frying pan for a moment but now they were tossed right into the fire. </p>
<p>“Why?” Aziraphale asked before Crowley had a chance to get upset. </p>
<p>“Leverage.” Beez simply stated. “I like to keep in contact with people who can be useful. Crowley is really good at avoiding me. This way I can keep tabs on him.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale worried about what kind of trouble this could bring. A glance over at Crowley showed that he was tense, his shoulders pulled taut, and his back was ramrod straight. It was so unlike him. Carefully, Aziraphale reached out and held his hand, rubbing a thumb across the back. The action seemed to break the tension and Crowley visibly relaxed into something closer to his usual sprawl.    </p>
<p>“That was not what we talked about Beez.” Crowley’s tone was flat.</p>
<p>“Things change,” They shrugged and leaned back into the chair. “Herezz the deal. I’ll happily sign this place over, but I have my own terms.” </p>
<p>“No, Crowley. I can’t let you do this. We’ll find somewhere else.” This was too much, there would be no way that Aziraphale could sit here and let him do this. Although he didn’t know the history between Crowley and Beez, it didn’t seem like a pleasant one. </p>
<p>Crowley placed a kiss on his forehead. “You know I’d do anything for you angel. Plus,” he lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “I’ve known Beez for years, they are not as scary as they seem.” He turned to Beez. “So…”</p>
<p>“You’ll pay me back in full, and you don’t want to miss payments with me.” Both Crowley and Aziraphale nodded. “And I’ll have a few tasks I’ll need Crowley to do from time to time.” That sounded a little ominous and Crowley narrowed his eyes under his dark glasses.</p>
<p>“Which would include?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t decided yet, but I assure you nothing illegal. And I can pay you for those, if that makes this deal a bit more tempting?” Beez sat forward in the chair and made unwavering eye contact with Crowley. “Your choice to sign or not.” They brandished a pen and set it on the stack of papers.</p>
<p>“No,” Crowley spoke with such confidence that it confused Aziraphale. “I’ll owe you whatever Beez, but Aziraphale signs the papers. It’s his shop, after all.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale let out a small gasp. He hadn’t expected that at all. Crowley was sacrificing himself, owing money  to this terrifying person, but wanted Aziraphale to sign the papers. That would officially make this building his, which would include the attached spaces that were vacant. This could be a way to provide some extra income and he wouldn’t have to sell as many books as he had been. He knew that Crowley loved him, but this was too much. He was offering Aziraphale his dream, but he had no idea how to process this information. Crowley looked back and him with a smile, grabbed the pen, and placed it in his hand. </p>
<p>Without warning, Aziraphale rushed forward and kissed him. He dropped the pen as he grabbed a hold of either side of Crowley’s face. Where words seemed to fail him in explaining this gratitude, actions worked better. He pressed himself against Crowley as best as he could while sitting on the couch and tried to pour all of his love into this kiss. </p>
<p>Beez cleared their throat which made both of them separate from each other. Truthfully Aziraphale half forgot that they were sitting there, he could feel a small blush on his cheeks. Crowley, on the other hand, had a large Cheshire grin.</p>
<p>“I don’t care who signs the papers, but someone needs to do it quickly before I change my mind.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale picked up the pen. Together they went through all the paperwork, making sure to carefully read it in case anything was out of place, and Aziraphale signed in every place he needed to. It took more time than he thought it would but eventually the stack of papers dwindled down to nothing. Beez placed them in the briefcase they brought. </p>
<p>“Congratulations, this place is yours.” Beez smirked and stood up from the chair. “And Crowley, you’ll be hearing from me soon.”</p>
<p>Being the polite host that he was, Aziraphale walked Beez to the door. He thanked them once more before they left the shop. No sooner had the door closed, Aziraphale turned and threw himself into Crowley’s arms. He wrapped his own around Crowley and never wanted to let go. He was amazed by how much Crowley loved him, and how he showed that love. Even if it meant making deals with someone Aziraphale would have preferred to avoid. But as long as they were together, they would find a way to face any challenges ahead. </p>
<p> “You are so wonderful,” Aziraphale placed a kiss on his cheek. “The nicest person I have ever known.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t say that,” There was a faint blush on Crowley’s face.  “Maybe heroic?” </p>
<p>“Of course.” A kiss to the forehead.</p>
<p>“Dashing?”</p>
<p>“Obviously.” Finally, he ended with a kiss on his lips that quickly started to become suggestive. Aziraphale moved his hand so he could trace one finger across Crowley’s jaw, down his neck, and hook into the collar of his shirt. </p>
<p>“As much as I would love to take you upstairs and let you have your way with me.” Crowley did look as if he was regretting his words already. “I do think a nap may be in order first. Care to join me?”</p>
<p>Aziraphale hummed in thought. “That does sound rather tempting.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale found himself relaxed on the bed with Crowley’s head resting on his chest trying to snuggle as close as possible. A sense of peace washed over him as he pulled Crowley close, Aziraphale placed a kiss on his forehead and sighed contently. Within moments Crowley’s breathing started to even out and Aziraphale was content to just hold onto him, and soon enough he fell asleep without a care in the world. </p>
<p>A few hours later, Aziraphale opened his eyes again. The room was much brighter than before and he could already tell that there was no way he would be able to fall asleep again. Gently he released Crowley, who was still sleeping, and crawled out from underneath his embrace. He decided to grab a few items downstairs to try and do something productive. With everything that happened earlier that morning, Aziraphale knew that neither would even bother opening shop today. He figured he might as well do something if they were just planning on staying in bed today. </p>
<p>Just as Aziraphale grabbed the items he was looking for, a knock on the front door made him turn. He could clearly see Gabriel standing there with an irritated expression. Aziraphale momentarily entertained the idea of walking upstairs and pretending no one was here, but that shattered when Gabriel saw him through the window. With a steadying breath, Aziraphale set down his items and opened the door. Gabriel burst through, causing Aziraphale to recoil from the doorway.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” Aziraphale snapped. “I thought you said you had to leave in the morning.” </p>
<p>“Yeah well, when you never showed up I rearranged some things.” That statement made Aziraphale see red. If it was so easy to rearrange things why did he never offer to do so when he visited before? “Why didn’t you show up?” </p>
<p>“I already told you that this,” he guestered between the two of them, “is done.”</p>
<p>Gabriel grabbed his wrist harshly and pulled him closer. “That’s not the agreement. You are supposed to do whatever I say or else you lose everything. That’s the agreement.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale tried to rip his arm out of the hold. “No, Gabriel. You only want me because I am with someone else. You don’t want a partner, you want a subordinate.” They both glared at each other. Gabriel tried to soften his expression and pulled Aziraphale’s hand against his chest. </p>
<p>“Sunshine, just listen to me.” He took a step forward. “There is no other choice, don’t you see that?” </p>
<p>A rather loud creak of the stairs broke the tension that built up between them. Aziraphale took in the sight of Crowley coming downstairs, clothes a little rumpled from his nap, and sunglasses firmly in place. He probably grabbed them from some secret stash he had, Aziraphale was certain there were several pairs hidden around the shop and flat.</p>
<p>He cocked an eyebrow, looking the perfect picture of surprise  when he became aware of Gabriel's presence. Aziraphale knew he was just playing at it. If he didn’t know that someone else was in the shop he wouldn’t have put on the glasses. “Ah, old friend Gabe. What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Gabriel gave a fake smile and a real glare at the same time. He turned back to Aziraphale who managed to pull his hand free in the meantime. “So you really are going to throw this all away for him?” </p>
<p>“I’m not throwing anything important away.” Aziraphale spoke with such conviction that even Gabriel took a step back.</p>
<p>“Fine!” Gabriel threw his hands up. “I gave you a chance, Aziraphale. But now I’m done being nice, so say goodbye to this place.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale just gave him an all knowing smile, although he kept the fact that he owned the shop now close to his chest. He didn’t want Gabriel to know just yet, not until all the paperwork officially cleared. “Gabriel I think you should leave my shop.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to leave.” Gabriel glared and took a step forward.</p>
<p>At that moment, Aziraphale could feel Crowley come up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. His grip was firm, a comforting presence that reminded him how much Crowley loved him. Armed with extra confidence, Aziraphale stood taller and faced Gabriel. </p>
<p>“Gabriel, you need to leave.” Aziraphale spoke with a calm but stern voice. “I have already said, we are done. You need to respect that and go.” </p>
<p>Gabriel looked at him with an angry expression. “This is ridiculous Aziraphale, you’re going to lose everything because of this- this- buffoon,” He pointed at Crowley who just looked confused at the out of date insult. “When he decides to leave you because you are nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a-”</p>
<p>Gabriel was sharply cut off by Crowley’s hand gripping at his throat. He pushed Gabriel against the doors making the windows rattle and the bell chime at the sudden movement. Gabriel reached up to try and pry the fingers that circled his windpipe. </p>
<p>“Crowley!” Aziraphale shouted and grabbed at his arm trying to seperate the two. </p>
<p>“Don’t you ever talk to him like that,” Crowley sneered. “You don’t ever get to talk to him like that again. It shouldn’t have been allowed in the first place.” He tightened his grip and leaned in close, Aziraphale couldn’t hear what Crowley whispered to him but Gabriel’s eyes widened in horror at whatever was said. Crowley leaned back with a venomous smile  “If I ever see you around here again…” </p>
<p>Gabriel gasped and coughed at the sudden intake of air he was allowed.</p>
<p>The two just glared at each other. Aziraphale was worried that one wrong sound would set them off, he really didn’t want to end up in the middle of a brawl. Eventually Gabriel stood tall again, he straightened his tie and jacket. </p>
<p>“Goodbye Gabriel.” Aziraphale spoke with such conviction. “Don’t bother coming back.”</p>
<p>Gabriel sneered and slammed the door behind him. Aziraphale wondered briefly if he was trying to break something in the process. The pair finally turned to each other, Crowley looking a little worried. He lurched forward and captured Aziraphale’s lips in a kiss.</p>
<p>“Don’t ever listen to him, angel,” he spoke against Aziraphale’s mouth. “You are perfect in every way.”</p>
<p>“Crowley, I was worried…” </p>
<p>“Shh.” He pulled away and laced his fingers between Aziraphale’s. “I know, I scared myself as well.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale chuckled lightly. “You were quite unhinged my dear, it was a little frightening, but very attractive.” Crowley raised an eyebrow at the comment. “I don’t think I would mind seeing it again.” </p>
<p>“Maybe next time.” He started to drag Aziraphale vaguely in the direction of the stairs. “Right now, I have plans to take the next several hours and show you exactly how perfect you are.” Aziraphale smiled and followed without question. </p>
<p>It felt as if an oppressive weight had been lifted off his shoulders, it was a truly freeing sensation. This really seemed to be the first day of his new life. And if this new life involved Crowley, then he already knew it had a happy ending. </p>
<p>  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sweet Alyssum symbolizes spiritual energy, provides an emotional balance, and protects an individual from heated encounters</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Crowley finished putting the final touches on the floral arrangement in front of him. He had spent the last hour adding and removing flowers to the vase, changing the ribbon several times, and getting frustrated. Eventually he tossed the first one and started with a different one which was working much better. When the last of the ferns were in place, he stepped back and admired his work. The blue forget-me-nots stood out brilliantly against the white roses and he smiled. He had associated this combination of flowers with Aziraphale and thought it would make the perfect anniversary gift. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without thinking, his eyes flicked out the windows towards the bookshop that sat right across the street. He couldn’t really believe that today was their three year anniversary already, although Aziraphale was terrible with dates and may not have actually remembered. Not that Crowley really minded, he knew how much Aziraphale loved him. He also knew how bad his angel was at keeping track of time. He had lost count of how often he fell asleep on the couch while waiting for Aziraphale to finish ‘just one more chapter’. Or how Crowley would make plans after work but Aziraphale would forget and schedule an event for his book club he had started in the shop. Honestly though, Crowley didn’t care too much about that. He knew that those things made Aziraphale happy and that was all that mattered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright Eve.” Crowley spoke into the emptiness of the shop making his way towards the plants in the front of the shop. “You know what time it is.” He reached out and started to pick the snake out from her hiding place among the leaves. At the sound of his voice Eve started to move from where she sat bathing in the sun for the past few hours. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare!” He reached out just as Eve was slowly slithering to a higher branch, probably trying to get out of Crowley’s reach. Luckily, he was skilled at capturing her so he closed his hand around her middle section and easily hoisted her from her perch while laughing triumphantly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to move his hands like a conveyor belt, one in front of the other, to get her to stay in place since she was using every bit of energy to try and make it back into the tree. After a few more tries, she gave up and was content to bury her face into red hair and rest on Crowley’s shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now Eve, you know that I have special plans with your dad tonight.” Crowley spoke almost as if he was talking to a child. Eve just wrapped herself a little tighter trying not to fall off him while they took the short trip to the back where her tank was. “I know you like me better, but he has made a lot of progress around you. Especially considering how you scared the daylights out of him when you first met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory of Aziraphale walking into his shop, and subsequently into his life, was something he would never forget. It seemed like the instant Eve placed her head on his shoulder all those years ago, his entire life changed. Before that, all Crowley would do was work and occasionally find his way out to a bar or club to meet someone. But those never became anything more than a quick hook up and a promise to call later. He never had a chance at a real relationship before and he was getting pretty pessimistic about the whole idea in general.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then one day this fussy, self-indulgent, yet wonderful person walks in and brightens Crowley’s life in a way he never thought would happen. Crowley couldn’t put his finger on why, but something about him pulled at Crowley like a current that he didn’t want to escape from. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first time he got a real smile out of Aziraphale made Crowley’s heart flutter in a way he had never experienced before. He found himself thinking of ways to do it again. Every passing day, Crowley tried to come up with more and more excuses to spend time with him until eventually a friendship formed and he no longer needed a reason to stop by. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With just the smallest amount of protesting from Eve, Crowley was able to successfully place her in the tank and close the lid. He grabbed the keys from his desk in the back, the flowers for Aziraphale, and headed towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know the drill Eve. Watch the store, no parties, and if someone breaks in you can eat them.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley locked the door behind him and made his way over to the bookshop with a large smile. He couldn’t wait to surprise his angel. Although it seemed like it was his turn for a surprise since he opened the door and Aziraphale was already waiting with a self-assured smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy Anniversary, dear!” Aziraphale nearly shoved a small box into Crowley’s hands, which almost caused him to drop the flowers but he managed to get a grip on both. He looked up at Aziraphale’s bright smile and couldn’t help but smile back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You remembered?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course dear, actually I was able to figure out how to program it into that mobile you got me.” He pulled out his phone and started to show off what he did as if he solved one of life’s biggest mysteries.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley just let him continue as if it were the most important thing in the world. Part of him was glad that Aziraphale was using his mobile, even though he complained and said it was just a waste of money when Crowley bought it for him, but the other part of him sort of regretted it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first thing that Crowley did was show him how to take a selfie, which sparked something he was not expecting. After they took the first picture together and he explained that he now had a picture of them together to take wherever he wanted, Aziraphale became obsessed. No matter where they went, or what they did, he always insisted that they had to take ‘one of those self pictures, dear’. He didn’t know if he should rejoice or be horrified at the monster he had helped create.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To be honest, Crowley actually loved all the pictures that they took, especially when Aziraphale would print them out to decorate around his shop. Crowley would always insist he needed a copy as well, and they both ended up with matching areas in their respective shops that were covered with pictures of the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And it will remind me every year, although I am not sure what would happen when I have to get a new phone.” Aziraphale finished and glanced a little puzzled at the device in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll help you with that.” He placed a kiss on Aziraphale’s cheek and handed the flowers over. Aziraphale gasped and the high praise he offered to the flowers, for some reason, made Crowley flush a bit. It felt as if those words were also directed at him. Honestly, he had hoped that one day he would stop getting flustered at the amount of attention and praise Aziraphale showered him or his craft in but even now, three years later, the smallest compliment would make Crowley flush. Aziraphale caught on pretty quickly at how flustered Crowley would get around him. It seemed like he would go out of his way to get Crowley to blush. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Aziraphale’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Aren’t you going to open your present?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carefully, Crowley removed the ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a beautiful golden pocket watch, the outside was decorated with a coiled snake pattern. When he pushed the button on top, it popped open to reveal the word ‘Dearest’ engraved into the back of the cover as well as their anniversary date.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, it's um, not… Well, it's not your usual style.” Aziraphale was doing that cute thing again where he straightened his bowtie and fiddled with his jacket while trying to avoid eye contact. “But I saw it, and it reminded me so much of you. Of course, you don’t have to-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was abruptly cut off when Crowley kissed him. When they pulled apart, Aziraphale was beaming with pride.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s perfect angel.” He wrapped his arms around Aziraphale and held him close. “How about we go out to dinner to celebrate, then we can take a stroll through the park. Maybe recreate some of our favorite memories.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” Aziraphale raised an eyebrow. “Which ones?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley hummed and gave a sly smile. “I was thinking about that time we had that picnic that got rained on. We had to hide in the Bentley where we had to find other ways to keep entertained.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale intertwined his left hand with Crowley’s and placed a kiss on the knuckles. “I think I have a better memory.” He waggled his fingers and let the light catch on the gold band. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” Crowley shook his head. “Told you that was a one time performance, angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did such a wonderful job with that magic trick though. Even if you did almost drop the ring.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have if you didn’t damn near tackle me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale laughed. “One of these days you’ll have to wear my old magician's hat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never going to happen.” Crowley placed a kiss on his forehead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them left for dinner after the bookshop was properly closed. It was a nice evening and Aziraphale insisted on walking instead of driving. Crowley knew that Aziraphale didn’t exactly appreciate his driving and would find ways to avoid getting in his car, if possible. They walked down the street, hand in hand, and enjoyed each other's company. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley was still a bit surprised that after all this time, he still felt the fluttering in his stomach whenever he held Aziraphale’s hand. He figured that after a while that new, nervous butterflies in your stomach feeling would have stopped. Luckily it never did. Each time he held onto his angel, or got a smile from him, that feeling would come back. Each day Crowley found he was still falling in love with Aziraphale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they continued their way towards the restaurant, Crowley looked up to see a familiar person walking towards them. Rarely had he seen Beez without a purpose, these past few years he had only seen them sparingly when it was time to make a payment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beez nodded in greeting. “Gentleman, it's been a while. How’s the shop?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The shop has been absolutely wonderful,” Aziraphale answered in a bright tone. “I really can’t thank you enough for everything you did for us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I tell you two that I’m starting a new business venture?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I don’t believe you have. It must be something very exciting though.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beez shrugged in response. “I’ve bought out a company that we used to do business with years ago. Apparently the new CEO that took over wasn’t doing a good job. I actually just had lunch with him the other day to finalize the deal. Turns out he knows you quite well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? I’m not sure who it could be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gabriel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley watched Aziraphale carefully, it had been a while since they talked about Aziraphale’s past. While Crowley had been working rather diligently these past few years to help Aziraphale deal with the trauma inflicted by his ex, he was a bit worried about what sort of reaction there would be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-ah. I hope he is well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Beez answered with a smile. Crowley looked a little confused. “From what I gather, after he was humiliated, he went back home and took out his frustrations on the company and essentially ran it into the ground.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Serves him right,” Crowley said. There was a very reassuring pressure on his hand as Aziraphale tightened his grip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it was not my intention for that to happen. How could I have known he was going to rush over and make a fool of himself at the bank.” Aziraphale said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Intentions don’t really matter.” Beez shrugged. “Fact is, that’s what happened. He showed up and made a scene. Had to be escorted out. The whole situation actually tore him up pretty bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Those poor people, having to deal with such a mess. How did you ever find out? I never got a chance to ask before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was still there. As I finished dropping off the papers, he showed up. He’s a very… fiery individual.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen anyone so passionate about destroying another person’s life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Crowley didn’t know any better, he would have sworn that Beez had a twinkle in their eye. Which was a very weird thing to see. In all the years he’s known Beez, he had never seen them take any interest in anyone. They would definitely make an odd couple, but stranger things have happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is one way to say it.” Crowley muttered. “But now that you own the company, does that mean you’ll sack him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, he has potential. Just need to point him in the right direction. I’ll have to train him personally, but I think he could be useful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think that is just a wonderful idea.” Aziraphale smiled. “I think you may have just the right, uh... temperament to deal with him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a quick glance at his watch, Crowley excused both of them in order to make their reservations for dinner. At the restaurant, they enjoyed dinner and wine together, talking through the evening and forgetting about everything that didn’t matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Perhaps after the park, we could go home and try to make something for dessert?” Aziraphale asked while topping each of their wine glasses. “I mean, it's been a while since we baked anything together.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley smiled, recalling the memories of baking together. Although they had vastly improved since their first attempt at the apple pie, they still had a ways to go. The best part of it, though, was that Crowley didn’t have to sleep on the couch. Instead they got to curl up with each other on the bed in their shared flat in mayfair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rather quickly, the sparse and barren flat started to become cluttered in the best way possible. Books covered almost every surface and reminded Crowley of his angel each time he tried to clean up the place. His couch became decorated with a few tartan blankets that Crowley absolutely loved to wrap himself and Aziraphale up in on particularly cold nights, or rather, anytime Crowley decided. Suddenly everything about his flat, which he never really liked to begin with, just felt so much like home. The one room that Aziraphale wasn’t allowed to touch, though, was his greenroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One day, just after they moved in together, Crowley caught Aziraphale admiring his plants in the greenroom. At first he felt such fondness seeing his love look at his plants, but much to his horror, Aziraphale was </span>
  <em>
    <span>praising them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He could hear the compliments and statements of adoration from his angel and that would not do! He couldn’t have them slacking, or wilting, because they became too complacent. He quickly had to steer Aziraphale out of them and tell him not to talk to his plants again. Although he was a bit confused, Aziraphale agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds wonderful, angel.” Crowley lifted his glass. “To our lifetime together.” Aziraphale clicked his glass and echoed Crowley’s words in a toast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley looked at Aziraphale with a smile on his face that made him light up in such an indescribable way. He could almost feel the warmth of it, almost as if the glow of Aziraphale’s smile was a tangible thing that could make even the most stubborn glaciers melt. Knowing that he was the cause of this smile, made it so much better and he wanted to do everything in his control to do it again. Luckily, he had an entire lifetime to figure it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Reaching across the table, Crowley placed his hand over Aziraphale’s. “I love you, angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, dearest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And so concludes my Big Bang. This was the first time I ever got to participate in such an event and it was so much fun! </p>
<p>I wanted to thank my artists again, <a href="https://ecchima.tumblr.com/">Ecchima</a> for all the amazing flowers and <a href="https://espressosaur.tumblr.com/">Espressosaur</a> for the beautiful book and portraits. </p>
<p>Also thank you to my beta <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinposhbastard">Dee</a> for all the hours of work you have put into this for months. I owe you so much for making this fic so much better then I could have done by myself. </p>
<p>And thank you to everyone who commented or gave kudos. It means the world to me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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